PORTAL OF CAPRICORN

Book Cover

FANTASY ADVENTURE SCI-FI HISTORICAL FICTION

Across Centuries

URSULLA MACKENZIE

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Logline

A mysterious old book is the way to a Time Portal. Dru Ruver and her friends are transported 20,000 years ago in a hostile and unknown world with giants and other races. A world coalition government wants to repopulate the Earth to try to change the Humanity History.

Genre

Fantasy,Adventure,Sci-fi,Historical Fiction

Short Summary

Young Dru Ruver is seventeen years old during that summer vacation near the Tropic of Capricorn when she is faced with an unexpected discovery: A mysterious, rare antique book containing maps, symbols and indecipherable ideograms that seemed to point to an overwhelming truth.


This mysterious book is the way to a Time Portal: the nine members in Dru Ruver's group are transported 20.000 years back in time. There is a government worldwide coalition wants to repopulate the Earth to try to change the Humanity History.

Setting

Tropic of Capricorn ( passes through 10 countries, e 3 Oceans)

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Philosophical Questions,Meaningful Message,Twist

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: DRU RUVER

Age: 17 years old

Gender: Female

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Gracious,Heroic,Strong Moral Code,Honorable,Educated,Visionary,Desperate,Secretive,Skillful

Additional Character Details

Name: Hans Berger

Age: 47 years old

Gender: Male

Role: Antagonist

Key Traits: Complex,Crazy,Decisive,Desperate,Greedy,Leader,Unapologetic,Secretive,Sarcastic,Visionary,Power Hungry,Villainous,Criminal,Aggressive

Additional Character Details

Name: Dr. Felipe Meine

Age: 37 years old

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Complex,Empathetic,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Leader,Blunt,Desperate,Visionary,Educated

Additional Character Details

Name: Vitina Almen

Age: 33

Gender: Female

Role: logical

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Confident,Seductive,Heroic

Development Pitch

Time Travel. TV Series. Original Plot. Unique Scenario. Dystopia The time travel to back in time 20.000 years ago when we cannot even imagine how Earth looked like. It's the perfect scenario for an interesting adventure. A mysterious old book is the way to a Time Portal. Dru Ruver and her friends are transported to a hostile and unknown world with giants, other races and fantastic creatures. Overcoming all adversities, the group faces constant threats: the forces of nature, the white desert, water or food shortage, chasing giants through an underground tropical forest. Finally, Dru discovers an important secret when she finds one of the authors of the mysterious book. A world coalition government wants to repopulate the Earth to try to change the Humanity History. Betrayal.Quarentine. Eternal struggle against good and evil. The time travelers: the only ones who can spread the secret that will save humanity!

About The Author

Ursulla Mackenzie is a writer and author of Science Fiction & Fantasy. Ursulla`s writing credits include many fantasy tales and short stories published in Brazil, Germany, Argentina and Spain. Ursulla Mackenzie é escritora de Ficção Fantástica. Tem inúmeros contos de Ficção Científica e Fantasia publicados no Brasil, Espanha, Argentina e Alemanha.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+,13-17

Target Gender: Universal,Other,Female Leaning

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: with a Publisher

Publisher: Estremoz Editora, Portugal e Brasil.

Year Published: 2019

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

978-107-406-157-9

Genre

FANTASY, ACTION

Brief

Dru River is a 17-year-old girl who finds an old and intriguing book. Fascinated by those pages full of weird symbols and maps, she invites a historian, Dr. Meine, to decipher the mysteries of the ancient artifact. The journey begins when Dru River and a group of scientists, led by Meine, find a portal, exactly where the book was also found, that transports them to twenty thousand years in the past. Now they have to find a way back home and to save humanity from a vile plan.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: GOOD

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

It does depict the book properly.

Draw of Story

Time travel is an instant attention grabber. Also, having a small and quiet city as the chosen place for this important portal connects the fantastic plot to the audience.

Possible Drawbacks

I believe the book takes too long before the adventure starts. It's important to define characters and the environment around them, but the time travel is the hook, and it could happen before.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The time travel to a time when we cannot even imagine how Earth looked like. It's the perfect scenario for an interesting adventure.

Fanbase Potential

I believe so. If well developed, the story could have a large fanbase, formed by teens and Sci-fi lovers.

Awards Potential

It has the potential for Sci-fi awards.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

TERMINATOR: A COMPANY OF THE FUTURE SENDS ROBOTS TO KILL PEOPLE IN THE PRESENT. DARK: A SUCCESSFUL FOREIGN SERIES THAT IS BASED ON TIME TRAVEL. DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW: A TIME TRAVELLER GETS TO KNOW AN EVIL PLAN TO DESTROY EARTH.

What’s New About the Story

It has a Brazilian beach as the place where the time travel happens. It needs improvements in dialogue, characterization, and in settings. The time travel to 20.000 years in the past could be way more interesting if the author develops better this unique universe.

Lead Characters

They seem to be standard people that are suddenly inserted in this adventure. A common teenage girl and a group of scientists traveling in time. The audience can feel even more connected to these characters if they are alike to the audience.

Uniqueness of Story

It's not a rare gem as it is, but it could be improved in terms of characterization, stakes, internal conflicts, the new universe the author creates. This universe definitely needs improvement, so we can immerse ourselves in the adventure.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

Development in characters, so they can sound differently; additional research to add more realism to the dialogue. The scientists need to talk like scientists, otherwise, all the plot is lost. A quicker pace. As an adventure story, things have to happen faster so the audience won't feel bored with long explanations and descriptions. Some actions, including internal conflicts, are repetitive. The girl thinks too much about how weird her neighbor is. Additional drama, more conflicts, more stakes. This is a life or death journey, and we have to feel the characters take it absolutely seriously. Some of their actions are a little bit childish, such as cursing the villain. They are standard people, but they were invited to an important mission: save humanity, and this invitation could be the base for an interesting character arc progress.