THE WHITE MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD
HORROR SUSPENSE / THRILLER SCI-FI SUSPENSE/THRILLER
Robert A. Atkinson
Two paranormal investigators and a skeptic discover that the strange cases they have been experiencing are all linked to a larger conspiracy. They come to the realization that the US Government is working with a race of demonic creatures called the Nephilim, who have world domination in mind.
Horror, Suspense / Thriller,,Sci-fi,Suspense/Thriller
Paranormal researchers Margaret Sasha Davies and Lucas Harrell team up with Navy veteran and skeptic Carol Ann "Skipper" LeBlanc. Together they encounter the supernatural in many strange cases. These events could be the result of something much larger and sinister, however.
Lucas, Skipper and Sasha come to the realization that the US Government is actually working with demonic beings and this could be the cause of the unearthly forces they have been dealing with.
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Lucas Harrell
Key Traits: Adventurous, Complex,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Carol Ann "Skipper" LeBlanc
Key Traits: Faithful, Charming,Adventurous,Clumsy,Naive,Religious
Additional Character Details
Name: Margaret Sasha Davies
Key Traits: Educated, Sexy, Sophisticated,Complex,Seductive,Sexy,Confident
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Margaret Sasha Davies had always felt more was going on in the world than the mainstream media was reporting. So, when the left-leaning Brit met staunchly conservative Lucas Harrell while attending school in Charleston, an unusual and lasting friendship began. Lucas felt the same way and, over the years, the two built a large database of alternative news and paranormal material, investigating everything from cryptozoology to political corruption. Now a state law enforcement officer, Lucas feeds information to Sasha for her radio and internet show, Sasha’s Realm. She, in turn, helps him solve some very bizarre cases. When Lucas is partnered with strait-laced Navy veteran Carol Ann “Skipper” LeBlanc, a pseudonym from Lucas' past, “White Man in the Graveyard,” is resurrected to protect his identity as Sasha’s source. After confronting many of South Carolina's haunts and legends, the three discover that there is a much bigger and more sinister force at work. Could the US Government be working with demonic beings, who may not have mankind's best interest in mind?
Lucas and Skipper investigates unusual cases in the South. Lucas relies on his knowledgeable friend, Sasha the radio host, for her wealth of supernatural lore. When the legends start becoming real, the three have to work together to solve the problems before the consequences get worse. The three could not be more different, but they make it work for the sake of the community.
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Accuracy of Book Profile
The current logline functions more as a development pitch and should be switched to that section. It is a really good overview, but some of the background information presented would be helpful to include in the narrative as the relationships are already established which could be confusing to those new to the series. The logline itself should talk about what this volume in particular has to offer in originality in around one to two sentences rather than compare it to another piece of media.
Draw of Story
The cases that the team comes across are wide-ranging, super creative and provide intriguing folklore and legends. The side effects of each case and how they solve them are also compelling.
Because of the structure of the multiple cases without a larger case to link them there seems to be no lasting consequences or chronological order to the events or the character's trauma. This makes the main character's internal conflicts hard to track and thus they can feel somewhat static at times even if they are slowly being developed throughout the story.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that two straight-laced conservative detectives are in in cahoots with a left-wing supernatural scholar/ radio host to solve wild supernatural cases in the South. The monsters intertwine folklore and history as well as healthy infusions of imagination to create fresh gothic characters and a creepy tone filled with suspense. Because a lot of the monsters were created rather than adapted they're unpredictable which is intriguing.
This could have a huge fanbase if the main character dynamics are solidified and their internal conflicts are more apparent to create emotional investment in the detectives despite the procedural and episodic nature of the supernatural cases.
This is unlikely to have awards potential for film due to the slow development of the characters, but as a TV medium this could have potential either as the whole series or for select episodes.
Similar Films/TV Series
X-FILES, SUPERNATURAL, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (TV), LAW AND ORDER SVU, NCIS, TRUE BLOOD, POLTERGEIST, TERRIFIED
What’s New About the Story
Each of the cases has different monsters, different problems and different needs in order to be solved. The actual investigators themselves however could have clearer internal conflict to make them more memorable.
Lucas is surefire and quick on his feet. Carol Ann "Skipper" is determined and skeptical. Sasha is brassy and brilliant.
Uniqueness of Story
The protagonists need lasting consequences in their lives from the investigation in order for the otherworldly phenomenon to feel ground and chronological. The actual monsters are rare gems, but the episodic structure could benefit from fine-tuning.
TV Series - Network, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Rounding out the main characters and furthering their relationship dynamics would help strengthen the emotional investment and link up the narrative between the monsters. Otherwise the episodes wouldn't require the specific protagonist investigators to solve.