White Wolf and The Bear

PETER DELORENZI peterdelorenzi250@gmail.com 1568306921531

YOUNG ADULT FANTASY DRAMA ADVENTURE FOLKTALE

1980s & '90s

P. A. DeLorenzi

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Logline

A forest story involving the theft of baby wolves from there den by a trapper. The mama wolf, White Wolf, goes on a search to find her pups, and encounters a great Bear who helps her find and rescue the pups. All the while a wicked witch and magical Crow are involved and engaged in chicanery.

Genre

Young Adult,Fantasy,Drama,Adventure,Folktale

Short Summary

A trapper in the woods hears the whimpering of wolf pups and gathers them up to take to the town and sell them.


The White Wolf, has been transformed into a bear so that she may have cubs with the Bear, both succumb to magical powers of the Crow and Witch after a vicious battle. The wolf pups are on their own, with the addition of the magical crow that has been transformed into a bear cub.

Setting

Forest setting and small mountain town.

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Quest,Internal Journey/Rebirth

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending,Meaningful Message

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: White Wolf

Age: Young mother wolf

Gender: Female

Role: Emotional

Key Traits: Charming,Faithful,Heroic

Additional Character Details

Name: The Bear

Age: Mature

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Romantic,Heroic,Honorable,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: The Crow

Age: young

Gender: Female

Role: tempter

Key Traits: Villainous,Unapologetic,Sarcastic

Additional Character Details

Name: The Wicked Witch

Age: older than dirt

Gender: Other

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Villainous,Badass,Power Hungry,Greedy

Development Pitch

This book lends itself easily to animation, with the opportunity to expand into more episodes.

About The Author

A retired house painter, USMC veteran, Peter lives on San Juan Island since 1986. Besides writing, he enjoys the outdoors and had lived in a cave for nearly 2 years in the Lassen Wilderness area, where this adventure was written.

Target Audiences

Age: 13-17,18-34

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Outskirts Press

Year Published: 2018

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

978-1-4327-5782-3

Genre

FANTASY

Brief

White Wolf has her children stolen by a mercenary man. When she decides to go after her babies, she meets the Bear, a nice animal that helps her in her attempts to rescue the kids. From that friendship, an unconventional love story begins, but the evil Wicked Witch will try everything to tear them apart.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

It doesn't depict the book. The logline says the bear helps the wolf to find her babies. It doesn't happen.

Draw of Story

The main protagonist is a wolf. And it's written as a fable. So it brings us some curiosity about what's going to happen.

Possible Drawbacks

The moment I noticed that the mama wolf stopped going after her babies, I wanted to put the book down. The theft was set at the very beginning of the book, so I was expecting a resolution for it.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is the relationship that flourished between two different species.

Fanbase Potential

It could have a fanbase formed by kids if it becomes a series of short episodes. However, the story needs development to reach a young audience efficiently.

Awards Potential

If the story develops into something more poetic, beautifully crafted, as a very well-made tale, with instructional themes, educative storytelling, it could have some potential. The way it is now, I don't think so.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

LADY AND THE TRAMP - TWO DOGS FROM DIFFERENT ""SOCIAL CLASSES"" FALL IN LOVE. BOLT - A DOG THAT IS HELPED BY A HAMSTER AND A CAT TO FIND HIS FRIEND

What’s New About the Story

I think the writing style is somewhat original, especially nowadays. It is written like the old tales. The author could improve the style to make it an attractive contemporary fable.

Lead Characters

We don't know much about the lead characters, but they are likable.

Uniqueness of Story

It's not. The story needs further development to become more interesting to its target.

Possible Formats

Film - Indie, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

To me, the biggest issue here is the fact that the story begins with a problem that never comes to a resolution: Mama Wolf discovers that her babies were stolen. She goes after her babies. She finds the babies, but it's captured by the man who stole the babies. The Bear saves her. The man sells the babies to a zoo. The Wolf and the Bear fall in love, and they never try to find the babies again. This is a huge issue. If you begin the story with a promise (the mama will go after her babies), if you define your protagonist's goal (to find the babies), you have to keep this goal as a priority, as the base of your narrative. The target audience can feel betrayed by this character that had a goal and simply took a U-turn in the middle of the way. Another problem I see: the mother has forgotten her little wolves to live a new love story by the Bear's side. It sounds unreasonable to me. Bear and Wolf can live a love story. This love story between two different species is actually quite interesting. They just should keep going, keep trying to find the little wolves, no matter what. We could think that the author plans to rescue the babies in further books (if it's going to be a series), but both characters die at the end of the book, so the rescue should be included here. If the author doesn't want to see the babies rescued, at least the Wolf should keep trying to find them. Another possible problem here is that the Bear easily decides to leave his wife (Wolf) because he finds a she-bear. When he sees that it's only a trap, he goes back to his wife. I understand the conflict it can bring narratively, but it's not a very "correct" decision for a kids' book. In general, besides the narrative, I believe that pace, structure, and depth of characters could be improved as well, so the story can gain more commercial potential.