Living Metal : Metallic Soul
GENRE
ACTION EPIC SCI-FI
Core Theme
TRUTH, PERSEVERANCE
TIME PERIOD
Future
COMPARABLE TITLES
ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL; GHOST IN THE SHELL
CHARACTER LIST
ANNA MATRIX (F/20S) -- AN UBER CONFIDENT, TOUGH-AS-NAILS MARTIAN COP WITH THE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE METAL.
SARA JESSICA BENNETT (F/30) -- POWERFUL, CYBERNETICALLY ENHANCED WOMAN WHO IS AWAKENED WITH ZERO MEMORY OF HER LIFE BEFORE.
ALEX (M/20S) -- REBEL SCIENTIST WHO IS COMMITTED TO INVESTIGATING A CENTURY-OLD MARTIAN SUPERSOLDIER PROGRAM.
CINDY (F/20S) -- REBEL SCIENTIST COUNTERPART TO AND LOVE INTEREST OF ALEX; PARTIAL CYBORG.
CORE (M) -- A SUPED-UP, FORMIDABLE CYBORG MERCENARY-TYPE OPERATING AT THE BEHEST OF A SHADOWY ORGANIZATION.
NAKITA (F/20S) -- A SADISTIC PREDATOR ALSO WITH THE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE METAL WHO IS TASKED WITH HUNTING SARA DOWN.
Logline
With the ability to manipulate metal, Anna discovered that she was not alone when she met Sara. Both women are now running from the Government and a corporation with an interest in their kind. However another of their kind, Nakita will set Mars on fire for her vengeance on the two.
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34,35-54,55+
Target Gender: Universal
Setting
Mars 2275
Based on a True Story
No
Publishing Details
Status: Yes: self-published
Publisher: Amazon
Year Published: 2020
Starting Description
Anna starts out with a bang, as she narrowly escapes a fiery explosion set by a gang out for revenge. Unknown to her that this event was to distract a secret military operation of finding evidence of a superhuman program.
Ending Description
Anna finds out that the Earth’s government was secretly experimenting on the her kind and now along with Sara a target to be eliminated. Anna must find Sara before it’s too late.
Group Specific
Information not completed
Hard Copy Available
Yes
ISBN
9781716443022
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence
Plot - Other Elements
Twist,,Other
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,,Rebellion Against 'The One',Other
Main Character Details
Name: Anna Maytix
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Faithful, Funny, Sarcastic, Beautiful, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Complex, Secretive, Badass, Blunt,Sarcastic,Skillful,Badass,Empathetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Sara Jessica Bennett
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Role: Emotional
Key Traits: Adventurous, Badass, Beautiful, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Modest, Skillful, Charming, Complex, Confident, Desperate, Educated, Sarcastic,Blunt,Skillful,Empathetic,Funny,Honorable,Badass
Additional Character Details
Name: Nakita
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Beautiful, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Unapologetic, Villainous, Aggressive, Badass, Crazy, Desperate, Skillful,Aggressive,Faithful,Crazy,Villainous,Engaging,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Core
Age: 140
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine, Skillful, Sophisticated, Confident, Decisive, Leader, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Power-hungry, Unapologetic, Visionary, Complex, Educated, Engaging,Manipulative,Sophisticated,Skillful,Visionary,Confident,Decisive,Leader
Genre
ACTION, THRILLER, ROMANCE, DRAMA, FANTASY
Brief
Someone is after Anna on Mars. A cop, she thinks it’s the biker gang she busted, but it turns out to be colonizing official on Earth who are after her. Anna uncovers their experimental past after finding amnesic Sara in on of their labs. Anna and Sara go on the run after trying to take down the oppressive regime back of Earth.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
It is accurate.
Draw of Story
The action scenes, especially the pacing of the opening before the main conflict is clear, are fast-paced and immersive.
Possible Drawbacks
Sometimes the dialogue can lack nuance and the pacing can feel uneven when focusing on character dynamics rather than advancing the main conflict. Creating more nuance and consistent pacing will help the characters to feel more realistic.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Earth is after Mars and when Anna finds out she is the first one trying to fight back and find out more to stop them. The cards are stacked against her but she is fearless.
Fanbase Potential
This sci-fi thriller has the potential for themes that would draw in medium to larger audience is done well. However similarly, the same sci-fi genre could also limit the crowds due to the genre alone.
Awards Potential
Due to being an action and a sci-fi story, the genres usually don’t get awards recognition.
Envisioned Budget
HIGH BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BLADE RUNNER 2049, JOHN CARTER, ROGUE ONE, THE MARTIAN, DISTRICT 9, THE SPACE BETWEEN US
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the potential of the themes in that the setting is about colonization but it is a more realistic space movie rather than rescuing people in space to return them to their loved ones on Earth.
Lead Characters
Anna is ballsy, brave and reactive. Sara is skilled and cautious. Alex is inquisitive and smart.
Uniqueness of Story
This is definitely topical given the emergence of robot soldier programs sprouting up but the plot and characters could be smoothed out to feel slightly more consistent.
Possible Formats
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
The actions scenes are jam-packed and thrilling as are the themes, but the consistency in pacing and character development can make the pacing feel uneven. The sometimes lack of nuance or purpose to the dialogue can cause a scene to feel too long or unclear in its inclusion.
Tips for Improvement
Trimming some of the dialogue and adding nuance will help make the characters feel more consistently realistic and help quicken the pacing when there is not full-action scenes. Fully developing the themes would also enhance the depth of the storytelling beyond the action genre premise.
Brief
In its current form, it is overlong and containing different tenses. See below for a simpler and more proper logline--
A tough-as-nails Martian cop with the ability to manipulate metal finds herself paired with another woman with her same abilities and hunted by sadistic cyborgs at the behest of a shadowy, malevolent organization.
What We Liked
What stands out about this work is how gung-ho it is for action, spectacle, and entertainment. This is to say that this work knows what its priorities are-- Most simply put, to enthrall the audience. The fight scenes stand out as the key virtues of this script-- Epic in their nature thanks to the special abilities and forms of its heroes and villains.
Film: This work is a solid candidate for adaptation on the big screen thanks to its bombastic action and high-stakes. LIVING METAL features a diverse array of characters with fascinating physiques and special abilities. They clash in memorable and epic ways on many occasions, and this work crescendos with a brutal, hard-fought battle. All in all, the fight scenes are sure to attract and to dazzle fans of action and sci-fi.
TV: This is a fair candidate for adaptation to TV thanks to the unique world it is set within. The notion of a far-future Mars civilization existing uneasily under the thumb of an oppressive Earth strikes as memorable and interesting. People would be drawn to this work as a TV show given that the runtimes would afford the opportunity to more fully build out this world and to characterize the many conflicts, side conflicts, and the complex web of characters, which include several interesting side characters.
Key points: 1. The unique location-- Presenting ample opportunity for world-building.
2. The terrifying villain in Nakita-- Formidable thanks to her lethal skills and sadistic personality.
3. The memorable supporting villain in Core-- An absolute brute and competent foe to our heroes.
4. The explosive finale-- An extravaganza that delivers for fans of the genres.
5. The high stakes-- Not only are our heroes risking all, but their actions have implications for not one, but two different planets.
Synopsis
As Mars commemorates its 100 year anniversary of a treaty with the Earth's united government, an explosion takes out a vital communications tower in the Mars badlands. Cocky, tough-as-nails police official ANNA MATRIX, 20s, is swept up in the blast. She has a scuffle with a handful of members of the """"Red Skull Gang,"""" the equivalent of a Martian biker gang, who she deems responsible for the charge. But Anna is soon called off by Earth security forces, including the sure-of-himself LANCE STORM, since she's within their jurisdiction. Little does she know that Earth official DR. JOHN LORICK paid for the explosion. Not long after, a team of researchers called NEOS descend into an abandoned lab, one idle since the war and owned by the formidable corporation CTC. They are followed by a military force, evidently set on apprehending and removing them from the forbidden, abandoned lab. Inside, the Neos come across a woman, SARA JESSICA BENNETT, 30, who has recently awoken and has a foggy memory. Sara becomes defensive, using powers to manipulate metal to decimate many of the troops. Partial cyborg CINDY and her colleague ALEX are spared thanks to their unthreatening postures.
As Anna is begrudgingly paired with a new partner at the station named JOHNNY REED, Sara wakes in a lab. She is supervised by Alex, Cindy, and fellow scientist MARK. Sara comes to terms with her apparent powers, while Alex and Cindy tell her that she is evidently a relic of an old Martian initiative to create supersoldiers in the fight against Earth.
They tell Sara that Earth and Mars have an uneasy treaty, where Earth is an oppressive colonizer that demands cumbersome taxes from Mars' populace. They also warn her that both the Earth government as well as CTC are searching for her. Mark takes Sara to a bar, where Anna and a friend happen to be headed. Inside, Sara bumps into Anna, spilling a drink all over her. Anna pours one on Sara in return. The two decide to have a literal fist fight, each certain they are going to win. To their mutual surprise, they are an even match, and a wild showdown ensues. They both have cybernetic enhancements, able to harden their bodies into metal. In the end, Anna becomes afraid of Sara's sheer power when she begins to lose control. Anna helps subdue Sara, as Earth's security forces swoop in, trying to capture Sara. Cindy arrives, and she and Mark help Sara escape, while Anna recovers and ponders next steps.
Alex and Cindy soon head to CTC, where they have day jobs. Apart from Cindy, Alex witnesses Dr. John, who we met earlier, awaken another being at the behest of the formidable, in-charge cyborg CORE. The being, NAKITA, is another cybernetically enhanced woman, akin to Anna and Sara. Nakita, though, is sadistic. Following orders, she captures and nearly kills Alex. Cindy soon finds him bleeding and takes him back to their secret lab, but Nakita follows them. Meanwhile, Anna is questioned by the police about the fight. She links up with her partner Johnny, and Anna wonders if CTC is behind the bombing that ravaged their abandoned lab. Earth's Lance joins the two as they head to the destroyed lab, where Anna gathers evidence of the metal-powered supersoldier experiments, but a troop of Earth's security come to apprehend them. With her enhancements, Anna quickly defeats them. Johnny is injured and heads to the hospital, while separately, Cindy takes the wounded Alex to the hospital as well.
John and Core rendezvous with the head of the CTC company, MAXAMILLION ZA'CRAN. He is marveled by Nakita and vows to continue his grandfather's legacy. He orders John and Core to track down and retrieve Sara with Nakita's help. First, John and Core head to pay the GRAND JAGUAR, the leader of the Red Skulls. However, when chastised, Nakita starts a fight with some of the members, quickly eviscerating them. The Grand Jaguar soon stands up to her, but she quickly overpowers him, too, with her metal bending prowess. They pay the leader what he is owed for the for-hire bombing, but a blast goes off once they leave, killing the last of the Red Skulls. Sara and Mark head to a fight club, where Sara seeks to hone her skills inside the ring. Soon, Anna arrives, seeking to unwind, but when she sees Sara, she challenges her to another fight. As they tussle, Anna tries to speak with and make a connection with Sara-- They are of the same kind after all. Soon, Core identifies Sara, and he orders two massive cyborgs to restrain Sara and Anna. However, Anna discharges an EMP blast from within herself, depleting the cyborgs, and Core and co. are forced to retreat.
The women escape into the bowels of the city. Sara soon has a vision of her past-- 100 years ago, she was a cop. After being shot, she was taken by a pre-cybernetic Core to be put in the """"Living Metal"""" program. In the vision, Core persuades Sara's husband to sign away her life rights to the program. Sara also had a son, and a dark, ethereal, mysterious figure warns that her son is still alive. Anna reveals that she woke up with no memory either, before becoming a cop. Meanwhile, Nakita pays a visit to an Earth ambassador to get information on Anna and to coerce him into working under her thumb. Sara and Anna rendezvous with Johnny, Cindy, and Alex at the hospital. The heroes and Neos have been blamed for the attack on the ambassador, and they deliberate on what steps to take next, becoming privy to the threat of hundreds of other Living Metal subjects being killed off by the Earth's government-- evidently a measure to ensure Mars never rises up against Earth.
Alex--who knows the location of the hundreds of Living Metal subjects--is taken and held by Earth's forces, led by Lance. Anna and Sara head to Lance's last known location, battling a slew of cyborgs along the way. Nakita tortures Alex in the CTC building, seeking to wrestle the lab location from him. Anna, Sara, Johnny, and Cindy make plans to rescue Alex-- Anna and Sara will be the distractions, while Cindy will try to retrieve Alex. Suddenly, a bullet blasts through and kills Johnny, fired by none other than Nakita. Sara and Anna suit up-- melding weapons and jet packs to their metal hybrid bodies. En route to rescue Alex, they do battle with a series of mechanized figures, and they eventually make way for Cindy to break into the CTC building. Cindy engages Dr. John in battle before she can get to Alex, but she becomes overwhelmed when Nakita intervenes, too. Luckily, Anna appears and delivers a devastating blow to the malicious Nakita. Cindy and Alex reunite as Anna and Nakita continue to engage in a violent combat. All the while, Sara confronts Core, challenging him on why he took her away from her family for the Living Metal program.
When Anna eventually defeats Nakita, she connects into Nakita's subconscious and views her memories. She discovers that she and Nakita are sisters and that they were taken in by the Living Metal program as girls. However, for killing Johnny, Anna lets Nakita fall a great distance into urban wreckage. Sara eventually overcomes Core after an extreme battle. She demands answers from the decimated cyborg regarding her lost child from before entering the Living Metal program. However, Core reveals that he has merely been piloted remotely. Anna and Sara decide to flee, but they are crossed by Dr. John in a mech suit. Alex appears in a mech of his own to save the two women.
In the aftermath of the climactic battle, Anna and Sara say their goodbyes to Alex, Cindy, and also Mark. Now fugitives from Earth's forces as well as from CTC, they prepare a """"space van"""" to leave Mars for Earth, where they figure they will be least expected. Meanwhile, Core digs Nakita out of the rubble-- She is still alive.