Shift
GENRE
ROMANCE
Core Theme
YOUNG ROYAL COMING OF AGE, FALLING IN LOVE AND GETTING MARRIED, LEARNING TO DEAL WITH TRADITIONS AND PERSONAL TRAGEDIES.
TIME PERIOD
Other
COMPARABLE TITLES
BRIDGERTON, GOSSIP GIRL.
CHARACTER LIST
JAYDIS SHIFT. 18. LEAD. TALENTED, BEAUTIFUL, ARTISTIC, SEDUCTIVE, INNOCENT, INSECURE.
HARBUR LADNEK. 21. JAYDI'S LOVE INTEREST, FIRST HUSBAND. MASCULINE,CONFIDENT, STRONG, ATTRACTIVE.
CIL DEVEREAUX. 18. JAYDI'S BEST FRIEND. FUNNY SMART, OUTSPOKEN, PRETTY.
LAURAE SHIFT. 20'S. JAYDIS' OLDER SISTER. PRETTY, POPULAR, FASHIONABLE.
REI LADNEK. 22. HARBUR'S BROTHER, JAYDIS' SECOND HUSBAND. ATTRACTIVE, INSECURE, STRONG MORAL CODE, AGGRESSIVE.
FLOK. 30'S. SHIFT'S FRIEND, JAYDIS' 'UNCLE'. FUNNY, JOYFUL, TALENTED.
Logline
In this coming of age novel, young royal, Jaydis, comes to grips with growing older. Her lackluster, privileged life becomes entwined with a set of royal brothers from another kingdom, who enjoy freedom and rebellion. Jaydis learns of love, betrayal, and heartbreak through their eyes.
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34,35-54
Target Gender: Female Leaning
Setting
Information not completed
Based on a True Story
No
Publishing Details
Status: Yes: self-published
Publisher: Kindle Direct Publishing
Year Published: 2021
Starting Description
At a festival held every year, Jaydis is showcased as the new gem of the season due to turning 18. Here, she starts to see her soon to be brothers-in-law in a different light. One is handsome and charming, the other is down right annoying and immature.
Ending Description
Jaydis finds herself the victim of trauma when her new husband dies suddenly and she's forced to marry her unwed brother in law to satisfy tradition. They want no part of each other or the arrangement.
Group Specific
Information not completed
Hard Copy Available
Yes
ISBN
979-8711407454
Mature Audience Themes
Nudity, Language/Profanity
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Twist
Plot - Premise
Tragedy
Main Character Details
Name: Jaydis Shift
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Clumsy,Empathetic,Skillful,Selfless,Secretive
Additional Character Details
Name: Harbur Ladnek
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Confident,Masculine,Engaging,Heartthrob,Honorable,Seductive,Sexy
Additional Character Details
Name: Rei Ladnek
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Role: protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aggressive,Heroic,Funny,Outspoken,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Cil Devereaux
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Aggressive,Confident,Outspoken,Unapologetic,Blunt
Genre
ROMANCE
Brief
Royal girl Jaydis, at the age of 18, is ready to be announced as the newest single available in the kingdom. Now more grown up and willing to meet someone, Jaydis starts to notice the beauty of her two soon-to-be brothers-in-law. She ends up falling in love and marrying one of them and starts getting to know their strange family traditions.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: GOOD
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes, it is accurate, but an antagonist is missing there. Harbur's mother could play this role since she is the cause of embarrassing situations for Jaydis.
Draw of Story
The story mixes old traditions, rituals, and practices with a more modern look and style. It gives the book a positive first impression.
Possible Drawbacks
The narrative sometimes seems shallow. It seems that the author paid a lot of attention to the story's main beats and left the rest aside. Some dialogues, conflicts, and actions end up not having the strength expected.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is the blooming of this young girl to her adult life in a royal universe that adds glamour, charm, and romance to the plot.
Fanbase Potential
No. The characters demand higher stakes, and the conflicts need more intensity to attract a larger audience.
Awards Potential
No. The author would need to improve its narrative dramatic arc greatly, deepen characters and conflicts to achieve the potential for awards.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BRIDGERTON: DAPHNE IS PRESENTED AT A BALL TO LOOK FOR ADMIRERS AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH A VISITOR WITH A TROUBLED FAMILY HISTORY. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: ELIZABETH AND MR. DARCY FALL IN LOVE, BUT THEY WILL HAVE TO CONFRONT PREJUDICES BECAUSE THEY ARE FROM DIFFERENT CLASSES AND BACKGROUNDS.
What’s New About the Story
The fusion of period traditions with a contemporary style makes the plot more interesting.
Lead Characters
Jaydis is a young girl who is getting to know love and letting herself live new experiences. Despite her young age and immaturity, she manages to stand for herself. She is a good female protagonist. The Ladnek brothers present very different characteristics and bring a good balance to the scenes.
Uniqueness of Story
It is not. It would need narrative changes, and improvements in central conflicts to stand out somehow.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
The mixture of period traditions with modern style is entertaining and could be further explored. Conflicts are not very satisfying. The protagonist and her beloved one manage to get married without great opposition from the family. Harbur's mother doesn't seem to like Jaydis, but she also does barely anything to prevent the matrimony. The biggest points of conflict seem to exist only to favor the presentation of erotic scenes. Harbur's mother accepts the marriage, but the couple will need to have their first postmarital coition in front of Harbur's brother, Rey, because of family traditions. At another time, when Jaydis marries the second brother of the Ladnek family, she must again have sex in front of a third person. The adversest part of these scenes is that Jaydis shows no resistance and ends up having sex with the two brothers at the same time. These are not credible circumstances for these characters at all. The couple is absolutely in love, and Harbur does not show any jealousy when he sees his own brother participating in the sexual act. It sounds quite out of the blue for these three characters. The one who feels guilty after the whole situation is Rei, who was initially the most detached from morals and feelings. It could look like a plot twist, but it sounds absurd. The plot would need more punctual and intense conflicts to make us cheer for this couple. The structure could be better developed. It does not seem that the end has any relation to the beginning. The structure could deliver something more impactful regarding the main plot. Rei seems to be the character that has changed the most throughout the story, but he is not someone we care about. The book has its potential, but the narrative needs to be improved.
Brief
Jaydis is a young innocent royal coming of age. While she is preparing for her sister's wedding with Johan Ladnek, she meets Harbur, one of his brothers, and falls deeply in love. She gets married, but the marriage is short-lived as Harbur dies in an accident and she is obliged to marry his brother Rei.
What We Liked
This story is interesting due to its protagonist, Jaydis, a character that is able to combine both strength and vulnerability, and also because the narrative combines contrasting elements such as modern and tradition; innocence and lust; joy and tragedy.
Film: It would be a great adaptation for film because narrative is surprising and there are big changes considering protagonist's initial status.
TV: It would be a great adaptation for TV as the narrative is rich in short passages and small conflicts that cross through a wider narrative.
Key points: Young and charismatic protagonist; Sexually explicit passages; attractive male characters; tragedy; beautiful and rich settings.
Synopsis
Jaydis is a young royal comfortably living in the shadows of her sister Laurae, who is about to marry Jonah Ladnek. Her hobbies are spending time with best friend Cil, 'uncle' Flok and drawing. As the family prepares for the big royal wedding and Jaydis is introduced to society during the Festival of the Wells, she meets Harbur and Rei, the two other highly attractive Ladnek brothers.
Soon, Jaydis and Harbur get involved, but she is not convinced of his intentions. She eventually falls in love with Harbur as she discovers her sexuality and physical attraction for him. It takes longer for her to stand the presence of the annoying Rei, though.
When Jaydis travels to her boyfriend's castle to meet his parents, Harbur proposes to her. He also organizes a surprise wedding and Jaydis is also surprised by the 'voyeur tradition' that runs in his family, which means that one person of the family will be watching as the couple spends the first night together. After the wedding, they realize the one watching will be Rei, and the voyeur tradition becomes a threesome with Jaydis, Harbur and Rei.
On the day after, Harbur doesn't remember what happened, but Rei and Jaydis are consumed with guilt.
Three months later, Harbur dies in an accident and the responsible for his tragic death is Cil's brother Rodge. After a conflict between the two kings, Harbur's father agrees not to kill Rodge if Jay agrees to follow another tradition from the Ladnek family, which states that a widow in the family should marry the deceased man's brother. Jay discovers she is pregnant.