Dwelling
HORROR MYSTERY SUSPENSE/THRILLER ACTION ADVENTURE DRAMA GOTHIC CRIME
Contemporary
Karen Koenig
Submision Type
book
Logline
An 'off the books' sheriff's investigation into the sudden appearance of an abandoned house reveals the answer to the age old question...does hell really exist? The answer is yes and it has made a home for all of us.
Genre
Horror,Mystery,Suspense/Thriller,Action,Adventure,Drama,Gothic,Crime
Short Summary
The sighting and location of an empty house is promptly reported to the sheriff's office by a bewildered land owner. The sheriff puts together an unconventional team to investigate the source and locate the owners of the house.
Setting
Arkansas - small southern town
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Tragedy,Quest,Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence
Main Character Details
Name: Sheriff Jeremy Pritchett
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Gracious,Educated,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Masculine,Modest,Obedient,Blunt,Selfless,Skillful,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Sam Pritchett
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Role: Skeptic
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Complex,Confident,Engaging,Flexible,Gracious,Educated,Leader,Naive,Modest,Obedient,Blunt,Outspoken,Funny,Strong Moral Code,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Leslie Singer
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Engaging,Gracious,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Blunt,Selfless,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Visionary,Sarcastic,Secretive,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Deputy Cole Sutter
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Clumsy,Confident,Gracious,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Insecure,Naive,Underdog,Modest,Obedient,Selfless,Strong Moral Code
Genre
THRILLER, SUSPENSE
Brief
A house suddenly appears in the middle of a land, and the land's owner decides to report it to the sheriff. Weird things start to happen, people disappear, and we discover by the end of the book that the house was controlled by an old entity that looks for objects and people to possess.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: GOOD
Premise: GOOD
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
It is accurate.
Draw of Story
This haunted house appearing in the middle of private property is an entertaining way to start a horror story.
Possible Drawbacks
The investigation itself feels repetitive. It takes a lot of pages of people reporting things to the sheriff. The author could write it differently.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The plot sounds suitable for a horror movie. This haunted house that kills people is a good character and scenario at the same time.
Fanbase Potential
If further developed, I believe so.
Awards Potential
No. It's not impactful nor thought-provoking enough for it. It's pure entertainment for horror lovers.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE: A HAUNTED HOUSE IN WHICH THE GHOSTS LIVE THERE FOR GOOD. CHILD'S PLAY: AN EVIL ENTITY POSSESSES A DOLL IN ORDER TO STAY "ALIVE" AND KILL PEOPLE.
What’s New About the Story
A house, in the middle of the woods, that is possessed by an evil entity. The author could better develop backstories and give the house an even scarier "mood."
Lead Characters
The sheriff could be better developed, so we could root more for him. Maybe, the house itself could be the main character of this story, depending on "its" backstory. This choice would give the story a more original look.
Uniqueness of Story
No. We could know more about this old entity that wants to remain alive possessing objects. It could give the book a more complex plot.
Possible Formats
Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
I'd like to know more about the entity's backstory. Why is this old spirit possessing objects to remain alive? Why does the entity kill people? If we have the chance to know the entity better, to know her past, her motivations, I believe the story could become more complex and scarier. The writing style is Ok, but it needs improvements in order to really catch people's attention. I don't think that the sheriff should be the main character. If you have an interesting character (the house), the character that is on the opposite side of the story should be equally interesting. The sheriff could be this person, but he needs to be more impressive. I understand that the entity possesses objects to keep moving on, but possessing a doll sounds quite clichéd. I loved the way the story began. A house appears overnight in the middle of the woods, and the land's owner decides to report it, believing someone is trying to take advantage of him. It has the power to be scary. However, the story's development is not equally scary. It should be better elaborated to become an entertaining horror movie.