ACTION ADVENTURE SUSPENSE/THRILLER CRIME DRAMA MYSTERY
John L. Thompson
While searching for a cache of embezzled mob money, a diesel mechanic falls for a woman with a mysterious and deadly past.
Recently divorced Logan Pierce made it as far as New Mexico before his El Camino gave out. His hopes of starting a new life in the oilfields of West Texas have turned to dust. Stranded, he takes a job at a local truck stop where he and a co-worker go on a search for embezzled mob money.
After finding the missing cache, trouble unfolds. Logan is forced to go on the run from things both real and imagined and faces issues with this new life. After spending months living under different aliases, he is forced to decide between life or death, and the love of money or the love of a woman.
New Mexico (Primary), Colorado, Mississippi, Minnesota
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Quest,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Twist, Happy Ending, Meaningful Message,Happy Ending,Meaningful Message,Extreme Violence,Substance Abuse, Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Logan Pierce
Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Charming,Obedient,Complex,Confident,Desperate,Selfless,Blunt,Faithful,Skillful,Funny,Romantic,Secretive,Honorable,Strong Moral Code,Underdog
Additional Character Details
Name: Amy Hauser
Key Traits: Confident, Educated, Faithful, Seductive, Aggressive, Skillful, Complex, Outspoken, Romantic, Secretive, Perseverance, Sexy, Unapologetic, Adventurous, Beautiful, Blunt, Criminal, Manipulative,Adventurous,Underdog,Modest,Obedient,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Romantic,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated,Unapologetic,Faithful,Gracious,Complex,Strong Moral Code,Manipulative,Sexy,Charming,Criminal,Decisive,Desperate,Selfless,Honorable,Educated,Funny
Additional Character Details
Name: James Hendricks
Key Traits: Confident, Educated, Visionary, Engaging, Manipulative, Masculine, Selfless, Skillful, Adventurous, Complex, Decisive, Faithful, Lone Wolf, Outspoken, Sarcastic, Strong Moral Code, Aggressive, Blunt, Perseverance,Adventurous,Charming,Aggressive,Badass,Crazy,Criminal,Decisive,Engaging,Faithful,Blunt,Power Hungry,Selfless,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Visionary,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic,Strong Moral Code,Manipulative,Masculine,Complex
Additional Character Details
Name: Thomas Hauser
Key Traits: Blunt, Decisive, Greedy, Leader, Sarcastic, Skillful, Aggressive, Confident, Outspoken, Power-hungry, Unapologetic, Adventurous, Educated, Narcissistic, Perseverance, Complex, Criminal, Manipulative, Villainous, Badass,Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Aggressive,Badass,Adventurous,Criminal,Decisive,Desperate,Power Hungry,Outspoken,Skillful,Sarcastic,Secretive,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Educated,Greedy,Crazy,Confident
This crime story is set within the world of diesel mechanics working at a truck stop. This truck stop is owned by a mob group known as the Dixie Mafia. They use the chain of truck stops scattered across the southwest and southeast to launder dirty money from their illegal activities such as prostitution, drugs, and gun smuggling. It is rumored that a murdered mob member was embezzling money from the truck stop coffers and buried a sizable cache somewhere on his sprawling New Mexico ranch. At least that's what the rumor mill is saying. The gears start turning in the minds of Logan Pierce and James Hendricks, who work as diesel mechanics at the truck stop. Even though the Dixie Mafia and the FBI might also be looking for the money, Logan and Hendricks take a chance and go on a search for the murdered mobster's fortune in hopes of securing a stable financial future. During the search, Logan Pierce discovers a chance at love with Amy Hauser who has a hidden, dark agenda that could well prove to be fatal.
Logan gets stranded at a truck stop on New Mexico halfway into starting a new life. The unexpected pit stop offers him a new job and his new coworker offers him even more money. The two must navigate the truck stop's owners the Dixie Mafia and the FBI in order to secure a mafia guy's long lost money stash. The more Logan unravels the more danger he is put in and must join the witness protection program with his new girlfriend in order to make it out alive.
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
Indeed the book profile does reflect the narrative although the development pitch could be aided by including the themes rather than a longer explanation of the Dixie Mafia as the antagonists.
Draw of Story
The world o truck stops is rare and intriguing with lots of room for interesting plot progression due the legal loop holes travelers there have for regularly crossing state lines should thy want to do illegal activities because it makes them hard to track
The pacing can be slower at times especially in the beginning when there are scenes before Logan's premise is set up and the mystery comes into play. Having Logan become part of Hendrick's idea sooner and joining the world of the truck stop earlier would quicken the world building at the beginning to speed along the main conflict's setup.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Logan and Hendricks are two regular truck stop works, mostly reactive characters, whose single proactive choice to find lost money gets them chased by both the FBI and the Dixie mafia.
With quicker pacing and more dynamic characters this could definitely have a large fan base both of trucker's in its novelty and the newness of the world for non-truckers who are fans of action and mystery.
Due to its genre and lack of social theme this is unlikely to gain awards in the film circuit. However if made into a tv series, depending on the adjusted character development this may appeal to TV nominations.
Similar Films/TV Series
BREAKING BAD, OZARKS, PRISON BREAK, SONS OF ANARCHY, QUEEN OF THE SOUTH
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from two regular guys at a truck stop having to run for their lives after becoming involved in illegal money. Having to run from both the mafia and the government leaves very little places to hide and Logan just recently met the love of his life so this lifestyle greatly affects their ability to be together.
Logan is secure in his identity for better or for worse, content and honorable. Hendricks is scheming, observant and almost wily (but never for bad purposes.)
Uniqueness of Story
The setting is definitely a good choice, but some of the side characters are not fully developed yet.
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Making many of the side characters more individualistic with more apparent goals and inner transformations will help increase emotional investment in the main external conflict. Streamlining the beginning will also help smooth out the pacing to shorten the setup.