FANTASY, ACTION

Sabina is an apparently ordinary girl, but she doesn't know that she is part of a fantastic universe in which characters from short stories come to life and experience their own adventures. She will discover everything about her backstory and save this fantastic place from the controls of the villain.

GOOD

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

It is not accurate. The information was entered in Portuguese, and the author left relevant fields blank, such as characters. The information added in "main character" is also incorrect. To achieve more visibility, it would be interesting to type the information in English and add the characters' profiles.

The author writes engagingly. The narrative flows well, drawing our attention to little Sabina's adventure.

Some actions are a little tiring, and the amount of characters leaves the story a little confusing, but in general, it is entertaining, and the resolutions to the conflicts- a little childish- match with the age range of the target audience.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

An ordinary girl living a fantastic adventure is not an original story, but it is quite interesting. The expectation of entering this magical world is the hook.

The story is quite interesting in its elements, and if properly developed, Sabina's character could attract a broader fanbase.

This narrative would have the potential for more technical awards, linked to visual effects, editing... As for the plot itself, it would need a more striking dramatic appeal.

LARGE BUDGET

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: SOME KIDS GO THROUGH A PORTAL AND END UP IN A MAGICAL WORLD WHERE THEY NEED TO DEFEAT THE VILLAIN. JUPITER ASCENDING: AN ORDINARY GIRL WHO CLEANS BATHROOMS ON EARTH IS THE HEIR TO THE POST OF THE UNIVERSE'S QUEEN.

This fantastic world's citizens create tales with characters that come to life and experiences their own narratives inside the books.

The fantastic characters give an exotic air to the plot, but I think Sabina could be more likable, more complex, more remarkable as a protagonist.

Not a rare gem, but it could become part of a charming series if the rules and conflicts of this fantastic universe could be adequately developed and defined.

Film - Streaming, TV Series - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, Film - Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

The plot in which people create stories and characters live in books is quite interesting, but here, close to the central plot, it sounds like an add-on, not very necessary. It gives us the feeling that we are reading two different books. One in which a girl from a fantastic world is taken from that world to Earth, as a result of the antagonist's villainy, and a second book in which the protagonist wrote a story, and so conflicts started to happen. Both are interesting and appealing, but together they seem disconnected. If one of them gained more visibility and more strength, the story might sound more cohesive. The protagonist is an ordinary girl who gets to know her role in the fantastic world little by little. It is as if the protagonist herself opens a memoir book and discovers who she is. This is quite interesting, but I think she could have more defined goals. As she remembers who she is little by little, the goals she used to have and cannot remember anymore sound outdated since we are following the human Sabina now. This Sabina could go on creating her own wishes through her discoveries about her identity. I also think that a heavier dramatic load would be fundamental in this book. Sabina is suddenly thrown into another world and discovers a parallel life that she did not even know existed. This should have a deeper impact on her. The fact that the villain redeems himself, in the end, is great because it deconstructs this image of the immutable villain who ends the story imprisoned or killed. Here he realizes where he is wrong and has the chance to change. However, the final sequences lack strength. With better-determined goals, the arrival at the objective would sound more impactful. It is a well-written story with good ideas, but it would need extra treatment in the plot, subplots, dialogues, and structure, mainly.