ACTION, DRAMA

With Hitler subdued, the rogue women who stopped his abuse of the aging technology and death rays focus on the external conflicts of Earth. The general populations thinks all the phenomenon are aliens and as the world leaders work behind the scenes, they let them. A single leader is elected and as expected for the betterment of mankind, that leader is Lynette, a female.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

The profile somewhat reflects the book. Rather than discussing TaleFlick and the past books in the profile, focusing on the current work would help show its marketability in its own right. Indeed it is commendable that the series is a March choice, but like in theater or series where someone may be joining late in the series, answering what about the work as a standalone piece will make it worth watching is important to capture interest. The character details repeat Lynette so could benefit from variation such as adding Megan. The logline should be a one to two sentence summary describing the main goal. The development pitch reflects the story well but expanding it to what the marketable themes are may enhance the pitch even more to add details outside the scope of the short summary.

The idea of an all women board leading a space expedition in a race to save Earth after they just defeated Hitler is a unique world building universe with a lot of avenues it could take. The potential of the premise is compelling.

The characters often talk about what they will do and or their reactions are doubting another character which can slow down the pacing of telling rather than showing. Showing characters advancing the plot and having more purposeful conversations to provide exposition may adjust the pacing and plot development.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that a group of women must save Earth and where just elected as the leader of the world so all eyes and hope is on them.

As a sci-fi concept led by women with a fantasy space component, this might have a medium fanbase depending on the character development and greater action sequences.

Due to its sci-fi space nature with a touch of dystopian apocalypse and for being part of an action series, this is unlikely to win prestige awards due to genre predictability of the awards circuit.

LARGE BUDGET

ANNIHILATION, FIREFLY, THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE, ARRIVAL, INDEPENDENCE DAY, AD ASTRA

The uniqueness of the story is the large sweeping goal of saving earth through space and the characters being women-centric with power. Further developing the women to seem more dynamic with inner conflicts alongside the plot will create greater emotional investment in their success.

Lynette is brave, practical and a take charge type of gal. Violet has a lot of decorum but is still a rebel. Megan is amenable and charming.

The concept is great, but the characters and action within the plot could be further enhanced to reach its full action potential in world building and engagement.

Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Adding inner conflicts and transformation to the characters will help them feel more three-dimensional. Adjusting some of the dialogue to show the actions rather than talk about the actions without providing new information would create greater consistent tension and thus make the pacing quicker.