The Incredible Adventure

Francesca Santana francescasantana@gmail.com 1296278421563

ADVENTURE CHILDREN'S FANTASY ACTION

2000s,Contemporary,Earlier 20th Century

Francesca Santana

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Logline

An Incredible Adventure is a script. One night, Lisa, is going out with her dog when she sees a big star on the sky. She stares at it and faints. When she wakes up, she finds herself inside a spaceship and meets Richardix and his crew. They inform her that they need her help.

Genre

Adventure, Children's,Fantasy,Action

Short Summary

The script starts with Lisa walking her dog inside the neighborhood. She stares at a star and faints. She wakes up in a spaceship. She meets with Richardix and he tells her that they need her to complete a mission. He knows that a group of aliens wants to do bad stuff to earth.


Lisa completes the mission. Richardix hypnotizes her and she returns home safely.

Setting

In a spaceship.

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Voyage and Return,Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending,Meaningful Message

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Lisa

Age: 9

Gender: Female

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Beautiful, Charming, Adventurous,Engaging,Adventurous,Flexible,Obedient,Heroic,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: Richardix

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Role: Antagonist

Key Traits: Confident,Decisive,Visionary,Heroic,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: Factor

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Role: tempter

Key Traits: Badass,Villainous,Greedy

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

Can you imagine that by just staring at a star you can end up in an incredible adventure? This happened to Lisa. She woke up in a spaceship and the only way to return back home is to complete a mission that Richardix and his crew set on her. She's surrounded by aliens and she's ordered to create a plan to prevent a group of evil aliens from corrupting earth and its people. An Incredible Adventure will teach its viewers not to do bad stuff or otherwise you'll get punished in some way. It reflects leadership and teamwork.

About The Author

Target Audiences

Age: 7-12

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: No

Publisher: Woven Words Publishers

Year Published: 2017

Hard Copy Available

No

ISBN

Information not completed

Genre

FANTASY

Brief

A young girls is looking through a telescope one night when suddenly a spaceship collides with it. She is taken to space and goes through many adventures in another planet, in a movie theater and in a forest. At the end, she comes home to find very surprised parents.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

FIRST PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

Accuracy of Book Profile

It does partially, even though the protagonist doesn't wake up from a dream at the end, as it is described in the Book Profile.

Draw of Story

The fact that it’s a story about a child's wild imagination.

Possible Drawbacks

The book has a dream-like structure in which the occurrences are all disconnected from each other, which can make readers lose interest. Maybe it would be good to work a little more on the narrative's structure.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

A little girl going through so many bizarre adventures.

Fanbase Potential

Probably not, even though the theme is interesting, because the narrative lacks a more linear story.

Awards Potential

Not yet, because the general structure could be improved.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

IN THE LINE OF CHILDREN WHO GO TO FANTASTIC PLACES THAT COULD ALL BE INSIDE A DREAM, IT REMINDED ME OF THE ANIMATED SERIES DUNGEONS & DRAGONS OR EVEN THE MOVIE ADAPTATIONS OF PETER PAN.

What’s New About the Story

The lead character's great imagination and the sometimes violent adventures a 9 year old girl has to go through.

Lead Characters

She is courageous, curious and amiable.

Uniqueness of Story

Not really, because the story needs improvement, and revisions. Sometimes it feels too surrealistic to work as a narrative for kids.

Possible Formats

Film - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

In order for it to work, it would be better to focus on some of the main elements of the adventure and develop them further so the story would have clearer goals, characters and a more defined background. It is also important to pay attention to the "it was all a dream" ending, if it was the original intention for the story's conclusion. It became an enormous cliché and represents kind of a letdown for anyone who has been enthusiastically following any fantastic story that ends that way. Also, other than that, some of the book's last pages are scrambled and misplaced, and the grammar requires revision too.