Book Cover



Eddy L. Barrows

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A serial killer kidnaps picture-perfect teenager Gwen Berry, and a second serial killer abducts Gwen and her original abductor. As Detective Matt Bergman begins his investigation, the idyllic suburban neighborhood reveals its share of dirty secrets.


Crime, Detective, Suspense / Thriller, Drama,,Detective,Drama,Family,Mystery

Short Summary

Postman Joe is delivering the mail in an idyllic neighborhood. He encounters Gwen Berry while someone watches hidden from a window across the street. Gwen doesn't notice that two stalkers are stalking her. After shopping with her friends for a prom dress, Gwen is kidnapped.


Midwest. Minnesota.

Based on a True Story


Plot - Premise

Internal Journey/Rebirth,,Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Twist, Philosophical Questions

Mature Audience Themes

Language/Profanity, Sexual Abuse,Extreme Violence, Language/Profanity,Nudity

Main Character Details

Name: Matt Bergman

Age: 40ish

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Villainous, Aggressive, Confident, Complex, Criminal, Empathetic, Narcissistic,Masculine,Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Decisive,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Educated,Insecure

Additional Character Details

Name: Joe

Age: 35

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Complex, Honorable, Sophisticated, Aggressive, Aspiring, Educated, Empathetic, Patriotic, Skillful, Sexy, Confident, Decisive,Secretive,Criminal,Unapologetic,Educated,Lone Wolf,Masculine,Charming,Skillful

Additional Character Details

Name: Dennis Mohs - Zipper

Age: 45

Gender: Male

Role: protagonist

Key Traits: Badass, Criminal, Desperate, Insecure, Manipulative, Secretive, Villainous, Aggressive, Confident, Narcissistic,Villainous,Narcisstic,Criminal,Skillful,Educated,Sophisticated,Unapologetic,Complex,Secretive

Additional Character Details

Name: Gwen

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Educated, Aspiring, Beautiful, Charming,Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Sexy,Engaging

About The Author

Eddy's plays have been produced at the Seattle Fringe Festival, the Minnesota Fringe Festival, the Staged Reading Program for the Virtual Theatre Project with Theatre Tribe in North Hollywood, California, and theatres throughout the Midwest. Eddy received his undergraduate BFA from the Ohio University College of Fine Arts, School of Theatre, and did his Masters work at the University of Hawai'i at Manoa. He is currently the Resident Costume Designer for PCPA—Pacific Conservatory Theatre in Santa Maria, California, and a Faculty member at Allan Hancock College.

Target Audiences

Age: 35-54,18-34,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (Kindle Direct Publishing)

Year Published: 2012

Hard Copy Available



ISBN-13 : 978-1475195644




Gwen is on her way home from work when she is attacked, but when she thinks she is being rescued, her rescuer attacks her and her attacker. Gwen is tortured along with the masked man in unspeakable ways. Berg, the detective on the case, is getting closer to finding the culprit as he finds fingernails and toenails in a shrine. Joe, the likeable mailman, turns out to be Gwen's original attacker and kills their torturer and Gwen on the quiet street she grew up on.

Overall Rating


Point of View


Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: GOOD

Theme: GOOD

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes, the book profile accurately reflects the book.

Draw of Story

The story is slow to start, introducing many characters that are not important to the story. It did not draw me in until Gwen is kidnapped.

Possible Drawbacks

There are many unnecessary subplots that do nothing to add to the story. Berg's relationship with his wife and affair with his sister in law, Berg's wife struggles or Gwen's boyfriend storyline are not important to the outcome of the plot. This story could be more concise. Focus on the kidnapping, torture and Berg trying to uncover the truth. There isn't much resolution to the story. Joe gets free and helps Gwen but faces off with their kidnapper . Joe kills them both and slips out quietly down the street. It's not a very satisfying end.

Use of Special Effects


Primary Hook of Story

This story is original because of the complexities of the crime. Gwen is a young girl, getting ready for prom when she is attacked by a masked man. She is beaten and tries to escape but the masked man is attacked and tasered. She thinks she is rescued but the kidnapper takes them both to torture them.

Fanbase Potential

This could have a large fanbase. It is very raw in its depiction of the torture and sadistic nature of the antagonist.

Awards Potential

This could have awards potential because of the nefarious nature of the antagonist. He could almost be described as quirky in a insane sort of way.

Envisioned Budget


Similar Films/TV Series


What’s New About the Story

This story is original because of the complexities of the crime. Gwen is a young girl, getting ready for prom when she is attacked by a masked man. She is beaten and tries to escape but the masked man is attacked and tasered. She thinks she is rescued but the kidnapper takes them both to torture them.

Lead Characters

There are many characters and it is difficult to say who is the lead character. Gwen is a young, vain teenager; Joe is a self centered mailman/attacker; Zipper is a sadistic torture, etc. They do not stand out as individuals but work together to fulfill the plot.

Uniqueness of Story

This is a solid crime/kidnapper story. It has enough unique elements to set it apart from other crime stories. It has more grit and gore than other stories in the suspense genre.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation



While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

This story needs to be more concise with everything working towards contributing to the plot. Berg's life and family problems do not add anything to the story. Gwen's boyfriend's struggle with her disappearance add nothing to the plot. There presence barely contributes considering they are not apart of the resolution. It would be better to focus on the kidnapping situation and Berg's professional involvement in the disappearance.