The Data Collectors

Danielle Palli

Book Cover

GENRE

ROMANCE SCI-FI ADVENTURE FUNNY COMEDY DRAMA FANTASY POLITICAL SUSPENSE/THRILLER ACTION APOCALYPTIC

    Core Theme

    THE POWER OF LOVE AND EMPATHY. OVERCOMING THE MONSTER/VILLAIN. INNER STRENGTH AND COURAGE.

    TIME PERIOD

    2000s,Contemporary,Future

    COMPARABLE TITLES

    THE HOST, ARRIVAL

    CHARACTER LIST

    LUCENE: 30S. THE ONLY NATURAL-BORN DATA COLLECTOR. SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED AFTER LOSING HER PARENTS, AND SHE HAS AMAZING POWERS. SHE'S CLUMSY, LOYAL, BRAVE, AND KIND..

    FATIMA: LUCENE'S BEST FRIEND. SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LUCENE. SHE IS QUIRKY, CONFIDENT, BOLD, FUN.

    CEPHEUS: A SHAPESHIFTER. BORN A ROYAL BUT TORTURED BY HIS OWN PARENTS. HE WAS PAIRED AS A MENTOR FOR LUCENE AND SHARES A DEEP CONNECTION WITH HER. HE IS INTENSE, WELL MEANING, AND VULNERABLE AT TIMES.

    TANAGER: HE'S COME FROM ERDE WITH CEPHEUS TO TRY AND SAVE LUCENE. LUCENE AND TANAGER HAS A VIBRATIONAL CONNECTION THAT MAKES THEM A STRONG PAIR. TANAGER IS DRY, INTELLIGENT, AND UNAWARE OF HUMAN SOCIETAL NORMS.

    ROMAN - A DATA COLLECTOR STUDYING LOVE AND HUMAN REPRODUCTION HABITS. HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH FATIMA AND HELPS LUCENE. HE IS CHARMING, CLEVER, AND LOVING.

    IVAN - A TINKERER WITH A SKILL FOR FIXING AND CREATING THINGS. IVAN IS FATIMA AND LUCENE'S NEIGHBOR. HE CREATES THE VESSEL THAT CAN TAKE THE GROUP BACK HOME. HE IS HONORABLE, GRUFF, ENDEARING, AND WARM.

    Logline

    The Data Collectors are trying to determine what is causing Earth’s near extinction. Meanwhile, special interest groups would rather see humans die off sooner, rather than later. After all, if they can preserve what natural resources we have left, Earth is prime intergalactic real estate.

    Target Audiences

    Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

    Target Gender: Universal,Female Leaning

    Setting

    New York, Florida, Erde (alternate Earth-like planet)

    Based on a True Story

    No

    Publishing Details

    Status: Yes: with a Publisher

    Publisher: Skinny Leopard Media

    Year Published: 2020

    Starting Description

    Two boys are rescued in a storm by a Vitruvian shapeshifter named Morphinae. Young Lucene Jones survives a lightning strike that leaves glowing, fern-like patterns on her arms. Fast-forward and adult Lucene is running from unseen threats, terrified of red doors, and crippled with social anxiety.

    Ending Description

    Ivan “the Tinkerer” helps Cepheus and Tanager restore the vessel that will get the genetically enhanced data collector (Lucene) to Erde after thwarting a kidnap attempt from the Royals. Made possible with the help of one “not-a-mermaid” Vitruvian named Odessa and Lucene’s boisterous friend Fatima.

    Group Specific

    Information not completed

    Hard Copy Available

    No

    ISBN

    978-0-9899893-8-1

    Mature Audience Themes

    Language/Profanity

    Plot - Other Elements

    Happy Ending,Philosophical Questions,Twist,Meaningful Message

    Plot - Premise

    Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return,Quest

    Main Character Details

    Name: Lucene Jones

    Age: 32

    Gender: Female

    Role: Protagonist

    Key Traits: Clumsy,Crazy,Empathetic,Desperate,Blunt,Outspoken,Funny,Sarcastic,Educated,Insecure,Naive

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Tanager Blackletter

    Age: 56 (In Erde Years)

    Gender: Male

    Role: Protagonist

    Key Traits: Charming,Empathetic,Selfless,Skillful,Faithful,Gracious,Romantic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Sophisticated

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Ivan "the Tinkerer"

    Age: 45

    Gender: Male

    Role: sidekick

    Key Traits: Masculine,Clumsy,Engaging,Skillful,Faithful,Heroic,Unapologetic,Honorable,Funny

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Hamish the Royal

    Age: 84 (In Royal Years)

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Aggressive,Villainous,Power Hungry,Desperate,Leader,Unapologetic,Manipulative

    Genre

    ACTION, SUSPENSE, THRILLER, ROMANCE, DRAMA, POLITICS, FANTASY

    Brief

    The Data Collectors were sent from other planets to collect information about Earth, but not every group wants Earth to thrive and flourish. The Royals, an insidious group, hunt down Lucene, a young Data Collector with natural-born powers. They want to harness her powers for evil. With the help of friends from all across the galaxy, Lucene survives the attack of the Royals and finds love and friendship in the process.

    Overall Rating

    EXCELLENT

    Point of View

    THIRD PERSON

    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: EXCELLENT

    Characterization: GOOD

    Commerciality: EXCELLENT

    Franchise Potential: GOOD

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: EXCELLENT

    Structure: FAIR

    Theme: GOOD

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    The Book Profile does accurately reflect the book for the most part. However, it could benefit this book to not include comedy as one of the genres. While there are comedic instances of dialogue here and there, a reader expecting this book to be a comedy would likely be disappointed.

    Draw of Story

    The writing in this story is incredible. The world building is vast, thorough, and impressive, yet the character relationships feel intimate and personal. It's a wonderful example of telling both a big, bold story, and a smaller, more emotional one at the same time. The dialogue is extremely strong as well. The difference between characters voices is crystal clear. Roman and Tanager, for example, have distinctly unique voices.

    Possible Drawbacks

    The biggest struggle one may face while reading this story is keeping the timelines straight. The chapters sometimes jump dramatically back and forth through time. It feels as if the story jumps around in time more than is necessary and a mostly chronological form of storytelling would've worked just as well, and maybe even better. Certain chapters, such as chapter 11, don’t seem as if they benefit from being placed in a random part of the story. Wouldn’t it be stronger to introduce the fact that Tanager and Lucene have similar vibrations back when Tanager and Cepheus first decided to travel to Lucene?

    Use of Special Effects

    THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

    Primary Hook of Story

    The world building and overall premise is the main hook for this project. It's easy to imagine how visually striking and exciting a trailer would be for this film. There are strong visuals throughout, explosive action sequences, and all kinds of interesting life forms and aliens. Lucene's journey is also so easy to empathize with, and viewers would likely love this character and wholeheartedly root for her to succeed.

    Fanbase Potential

    Yes. Fantasy and science fiction fans would likely show up for an ambitious adaptation such as this one. The story is refreshingly original, and it provides a fun new twist on an alien movie.

    Awards Potential

    The costuming and visual effects departments could garner awards attention in this project.

    Envisioned Budget

    LARGE BUDGET

    Similar Films/TV Series

    V, THE HOST, ARRIVAL, CLARA

    What’s New About the Story

    The world of this story is incredibly original. It's imaginative, creative, and impressive. It's clear the writer has put a ton of thought into this story. The writing is descriptive and visually intriguing. Specific details make this story's world feel real. The physical and personality differences in creatures in this story is original and compelling as well. From Tanager to Ivan to Odessa, this story features strong characters. Lucene's background is unique as well. She is a character with strong, interesting motivations.

    Lead Characters

    Lucene's friendship with Fatima is one way that she stands out. Readers get to see her being funny, clumsy, and awkward with her best friend, which makes her feel so genuine and real. Her courage is also inspiring. She has some deep, irrational fears and anxieties, but she pushes through them and fights for her own life and the lives of her friends. Fatima stands out as well. She's confident, quirky, and just utterly delightful. She is the kind of character that will likely emerge as a fan favorite.

    Uniqueness of Story

    Though the pacing and structure could definitely benefit from a more streamlined form of storytelling as far as the timelines go, I do believe this project is a rare gem regardless. The writing is sharp, the characterization is very solid, and the world building is incredible. The originality of the premise also makes this a gem, particularly for fans of science fiction and fantasy genres.

    Possible Formats

    Film: Studio, Streaming TV Series: Network, Limited Run / Mini-Series

    Analyst Recommendation

    RECOMMEND

    Justification

    What this project does well, it does incredibly well. The world of this story is vast and open for all kinds of visually compelling adaptations. The characters create a strong emotional foundation that roots the story in love and friendship. It's a solid read from start to finish, and it's the rare kind of project that feels as if it might shine even more on screen than on the page, since the writing is already so visual and memorable.

    Brief

    When she begins receiving mysterious warnings about staying safe from harm, a young woman discovers that her late parents were Data Collectors sent from other planets to collect information about Earth, which makes her a natural-born Data Collector with valuable powers. With help from friends from different intergalactic walks of life, the woman must try to survive and protect her powers from the groups that want to harness it for evil and in doing so, destroy Earth.

    What We Liked

    There is so much to love about this project. The world building is vast, impressive, and dazzling. The premise is intriguing, with enough mystery and lore to keep readers flying through the pages. The story is anchored by strong, nuanced characters that have clear and distinct voices and motivations. There are deep themes of empathy, love, and friendship, and it's refreshing to read a brand new take on aliens. The writing shines from start to finish, and because the writing is so visual, this really is the perfect project for a screen adaptation. Strong, detailed imagery paints vivid pictures of every moment on screen.

    Film: This book is already perfectly primed to be a movie, with a clear and straightforward beginning, middle, and end. There are big-budget action scenes that would absolutely leap off the big screen. This project also has strong franchise potential, as the ending leaves the story open for future films.

    TV: Because the world introduced in this story is so vast, the possibilities would be endless for a TV adaptation. Of course the first book provides plenty of material for at least one season of television, and maybe more, but there are also so many places and characters introduced that writers would never run out of intriguing storyline for the show. Much like "Doctor Who," this is the kind of show that could run for a very long time as well, since many of the characters featured live longer lives than normal humans.

    Key points:
    1. Incredible world building.
    2. Intriguing premise.
    3. The blending of different genres, such as fantasy, sci-fi, romance, and mystery.
    4. Highly visual writing.
    5. Likable and nuanced characters.

    Synopsis

    We meet Drake and Bryce in the prologue, 25 years ago, 20 years before the assembly. The boys are in a boat during a terrible storm. Drake falls out of the boat and nearly drowns, but a creature with a blue face and black button eyes saves him. The creature is Morphinae, a Virtuvian.

    Seven-year-old Lucene Jones is riding in a car during the storm. She pleads for Cepheus to help her from lightyears away, and though he says he’ll try, the car wrecks and Cepheus’ connection with Lucene is lost.

    In a hospital room, Lucene watches as Fatima Fortunata, another patient, is told that she’s going home today. Lucene wants her parents to come get her. She tells Fatima about how she was struck by lightning and has supernatural powers now. Fatima leaves the hospital but leaves her calling card with Lucene.

    Five years ago, Lucene, now 27, sits in the assembly room where representatives from Earth are gathered for the Intergalactic Peace Project’s annual conference. As speakers rise, one of them is Cepheus, speaking for Erde. Lucene can’t remember how or why, but she knows she knows him. It’s like seeing an old friend.

    Cepheus explains that Data Collectors, beings acting as humans and living among them, are being mysteriously killed off. These Data Collectors were sent to Earth to gather information about how to save it from environmental collapse. Whoever is killing Data Collectors doesn’t want to see the Earth survive. As she listens, Lucene hears Cepheus speak to her in her mind. He tells her to protect herself.

    After an argument breaks out regarding Erde harboring humans without permission, Lucene leaves. She returns to see an explosion rock the Commonwealth building. She flees.

    Four years after the assembly, students study at the Terrestrial Academy of Research and Awareness (TARA). Some study Earth, others study other alien cultures, and some take the track of the Data Collectors. A professor tells Cepheus, who also teaches at TARS, that Lucene has been found alive in Florida. Cepheus decides he will go to find Lucene, but before he can, Tanager, the professor injects him with an antipsychotic serum. He falls to the ground.

    Five years after the assembly, Lucene, encounters Tanager in a grocery story parking lot. When her car doesn’t start, she takes Tanager up on his offer to drive her home. Once there, she introduces him to Fatima, now her roommate, who invite him to come back for dinner the next night. He agrees.

    That very evening, Roman, a charming and incredibly perceptive man, has dinner in a restaurant. While there, he strikes up conversation and reveals that he can tell a lot about a person just by speaking with them. He’s been studying love and reproduction habits of humans at TARA, and he’s well versed in Earth culture. Fatima happens to be the cook in the restaurant, and when Roman meets her, he’s instantly smitten. He leaves his number with Fatima and is delighted when she calls and invites him to dinner the next night.

    The next chapter introduces readers to Ivan the Tinkerer, Fatima and Lucene’s neighbor. He’s not human, so he sometimes has a difficult time socializing. Though he’s quite friendly when Tanager and Cepheus, who had asked to stay with him, arrive.

    Meanwhile, Sabrina and Hamish discuss having another children. They are Royals, beings that evolve quickly, age slowly, and can regrow organs and limbs. Sabrina believes that the help of a Data Collector will help them have another child. They head to the Royal casino.

    That night, Tanager and Cepheus enter Lucene’s room. They start to explain what’s happening, but she wants them to leave before Fatima’s home. Outside, Ivan helps calm down the situation.

    Lucene’s boss, Drake, tells her about the time he almost drowned as a boy. He also asks her to take on a special, secretive task. He asks her to break some rules, but insists it’s worth it. She wants to impress him.

    Fatima prepares for the big dinner with Roman, Ivan, Tanager and Lucene. The dinner is a lovely time during which the couples connect on deeper levels. When Roman gets home, he considers the fact that he can’t let Fatima distract from his true mission: keeping Lucene safe.

    The next morning, Fatima tells Lucene that Roman confessed to her that he’s an alien. Fatima finds this fact amusing. Roman also says he’s a Data Collector, and that there’s another named Jim Sparks. Lucene makes a mental note to investigate Jim further.

    Twenty five years before the assembly, readers get more information about what Cepheus has been through. When Tanager was at dinner with him, the Royals attacked, kidnapped Cepheus, and killed his family. They told Cepheus and Tanager to pull the Data Collectors from Earth.

    Back with Lucene, she is surprised when Tanager appears and knocks on her window. He takes her to Ivan’s workshop, where Cepheus is also waiting. During a walk, Tanager tells Lucene the truth. Her parents were born on Erde, they were training to become Data Collectors, and Lucene herself is a Data Collector with natural-born abilities. She is the only natural born Data Collector, in fact. Alongside all the info about her, Lucene learns that Ivan has invented a way to get them home within six months. She will have to decide if she’s going to go. After their talk, Lucene and Tanager arrange to meet that evening.

    During a conversation with Royals, Drake reveals that he isn’t as trustworthy as he seems. He made a deal with the Royals, and he has promised to find and turn over Lucene. Hamish and Sabrina blow up a casino in order to kill members of the IPP. They don’t seem to feel any remorse.

    Meanwhile, five years after the assembly, Tanager and Lucene meet as planned. They have a lovely time until they run into Roman. He tells Lucene to be careful of Tanager. He doesn’t think he’s who he seems, and he believes Tanager is working with the Royals.

    Soon after, Lucene tracks down Jim Sparks. He tells her about the Royals and their plan to repopulate the Earth. Now that it’s gone astray, they want to kill everyone. After Lucene leaves, Jim doesn’t hear someone else secretly board the boat. It’s Drake Cushing, who’s gotten Jim’s location by using his own trusted confidant against him.

    Drake comes to Lucene. He tries to convince her that the Royals are actually on the good side, but Lucene doesn’t believe his lies. He shoots Reverend Isabella, the woman Lucene works for, and then he leaves.

    In a quest to find help, Tanager speaks with Odessa and Morphinae, two aliens who might want to stay out of the fight, but who also love humans and Earth enough to speak up. During their meeting, they overhear Hamish and Sabrina.

    While cuddled on the couch, Roman and Fatima see the news about Isabella being shot. They also see that Jim has been killed. This death causes Fatima to doubt Roman, but he convinces her that he means her no ill will and he didn’t hurt Jim. Fatima and Roman talk to Ivan. They plan to meet. Ivan calms Cepheus down, and as soon as they leave, the cottage explodes in flames. They all got out just in time.

    The group finally meets up. Roman has an emotional moment when he remembers Far, his son. He’s lived another life before this one. The group tries desperately to find Lucene. It’s Cepheus who finally tracks her down.

    Lucene has been kidnapped and restrained by Hamish and Sabrina. She’s able to communicate nonverbally with Cepheus and let him know where she is. Lucene finally remembers her past connection with Cepheus. She also realizes that Cepheus is Sabrina and Hamish’s son, and that even if they discover the recipe for Lucene’s powers, they won’t work without empathy and love.

    Ivan and Roman stay behind and make sure the vessel is ready to take them home as soon as they’ve rescued Lucene. Fatima stands guard. Cepheus and Tanager get ready to face the Royals.

    During the confrontation with Hamish and Sabrina, Tanager is gravely injured and poisoned. Cepheus is nearly killed, but Hamish turns on Sabrina and helps him save Lucene. Morphinae, who once saved the boys, is able to save Tanager’s life.

    Tanager, Roman, Cepheus, and Lucene leave on the vessel. Fatima and Ivan stay on Earth.

    In an effort to restore balance, Morphinae arrives to kill Drake. But Drake suggests they work together to ensure that Lucene uses her powers fairly.

    Reverend Isabella wakes up after an injury and sees a beetle resting on her arm. It is Odessa, and she knows that the world needs Isabella.

    About The Author

    Danielle Palli is a writer, business owner, podcast producer and co-host, and mindfulness coach. She lives in Florida with her husband and her beloved pets. She finds joy in singing and dancing, nature, and travel.