ACTION, DRAMA

Yonti is recruited as a student in Paris by the CIA. He is trained to become a fighter on par with his exceptional mind. Under a new alias he helps the CIA monitor Russia and other perceived enemies. With nuclear weapons coming into the picture, Yonti realizes he also has something to loose now, his fiance Claire, which makes him vulnerable to attack.

EXCELLENT

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT

Pace: GOOD

Premise: GOOD

Structure: EXCELLENT

Theme: FAIR

The book profile does reflect the story although some of the sections could be condensed or expanded. The logline could take the explanation of genre and place that in the development pitch. The character details could also showcase the importance of Claire by adding her. The short summary can be a bit confusing in that the order makes it sound like the CIA of Yonti in that he went rogue and became a killer when it just means that he become trained. By clarifying that Yonti is a good guy or editing the syntax to make it clear that he was trained not a traitor this will simplify the profile implications to better match the story.

Yonti's training and being thrown into the job is compelling. The pacing is great and the characters are likable. There is a mystery as to whether Yonti has what it takes and how long his secret identity will be safe and when it will cause danger.

The plot and pacing is pretty on par, although some of the dialogue when it is in a foreign language can be repetitive. For example if the character speaks in French they then speak the same translation, when in reality, the conversation would not have the translation. By making the meaning evident with context such as answering the correct response in English to a French question or simply saying for example " they were praising God in Arabic" rather than having characters self-translate.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Yonti is a french student recruited by the CIA who has multiple alias that are needed to stop a nuclear war. He is talented and fresh at the job, but ends up losing a lot in the process when it comes to a normal life and some of the people he works with.

This genre as an action film or series could have a large fanbase with further developed side characters to make the action hero dynamics even more distinct.

Although it could be popular due to the action genre, the same genre may limit the prestige awards it may be nominated for. This might win for popular awards however.

LARGE BUDGET

ALIAS, 24, JACK RYAN, BOURNE IDENTITY, THE SUM OF ALL FEARS, TOP GUN

The originality stems from the unique skill set that Yonti has both in computers and in combat. He is able to be an expert but also new at the same time thus useful and learning.

Yonti is hardworking, naturally skilled, and smart. Claire is hopeful and calm. Stan is patient and calculating.

This has a ton of potential for development with a bit more added to flesh out the side characters to make them dynamic rather than static.

Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Limited Run / Mini-Series, Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Adding more proactive influence to the side characters and or transformations as to their own inner conflicts would strengthen the dynamics and dialogue of the character interactions to be more distinct. Creating a consistent antagonist may also help increase emotional attachment and consistent rising tension rather than pacing that increases at intervals.