ACTION, DRAMA

Nick, a former military contractor comes across the wrong guy at the wrong time, Carl Meyer. Accidentally interfering with Carl's search, Nick must defend himself and put a stop to the attacks. Carl doesn't know how capable Nick truly is and the underestimation costs Meyer dearly.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

For the most part the plot s accurately reflected in the profile that is executed in the narrative. The profile does make Carl seem more important than Nick so making Nick the active protagonist in the profile rather than passively reacting as an antagonist might help fix this switch. Also the use of the character descriptions is not the characters discussed in the logline, short summary and pitch which makes the characters written about seem less important for not being in both the description and the summary.

The exotic locations are mesmerizing and the lore of Nick Stowe is so great that there is tension whether he can truly live up to such a reputation.

The structure of building up Nick as the protagonist works, but doing the same for the antagonist makes Carl seem like less of a threat as the structure begins to focus on Nick proving himself and talks more about Carl than shows. By showing Carl as the antagonist in the same way the protagonist is developed, they may be better foils of each other with equal character development.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Nick stopped the wrong guy from finding his jewels but yet the guy seeking retaliation, Carl picked the wrong guy to seek revenge upon.

As an action film that include multiple nations this could have a large draw of a crowd given audience tend to like or are curious about when their home is represented on screen.

While this could draw a large audience because of its action genre, the same story as an action genre is unlikely to get nominated for serious awards, but could have a chance at popular awards.

LARGE BUDGET

EQUALIZER, EQUALIZER 2, FAST AND THE FURIOUS 6, BLOOD DIAMOND, A GOOD MAN

The originality stems from the exotic locations and each man living up to their myth as a fighter. Nick is an epic action hero with a loyalty that is unmatched. By showing more of Carl rather than telling he could be equally as developed as Nick so that it seems both are actively participating in the cat and mouse rather than one reacting to the other.

Nick is a rare breed of integrity and skill with a loyalty that makes him braver than everyone else. He has tenacity and perseverance. Carl is determined as well but on the wrong side of the moral compass.

This is a fun action film with a lot of potential for the locations and a neat water aspect to the premise for chase sequences. However the character development could use some improvement so that the antagonist and protagonist are more matching foils to each other ideologically rather than happenstance.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Further developing Carl as an antagonist and refining his motive could help create greater emotional investment in the struggle with Nick. By generating certain dialogue choices to include more subtext, the supporting characters could be more distinct based off their speech patterns and differing beliefs.