DRAMA, ACTION

A baby is kidnapped in a quiet village where crimes rarely happen. The child's mother claims that the child was taken by an aborigine. After much investigation and false leads, the police discovers the baby's family is involved.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

He could use the Development Pitch section. He left it blank. The antagonist is also missing from the page.

A baby is kidnapped by an aborigine in a caravan park. This beginning gives us at least thought-provoking elements to keep reading.

After a while, the investigation gets a little tiring since the whole story is based on it. The author could add other elements to the plot to give us some breathing between one scene of investigation and another.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The investigation, although a little tiring, is the hook. You want to know what happened to the kidnapped child.

I don't think so. It is a story that lacks drama, more significant conflicts and sequence of actions, better character development. Besides, unfairly accusing an aborigine can produce the opposite effect on the audience.

I don't think so. It is a story of police action that does not show conflicts or enough originality in its execution in order to have the potential for awards.

LOW BUDGET

THE WITCH: A BABY IS KIDNAPPED, AND THE STORY UNFOLDS AS A RESULT OF THIS DISAPPEARANCE. GONE BABY GONE - A KID IS KIDNAPPED, AND THE POLICE OFFICERS DISCOVER SHE WAS TAKEN BY HER OWN FATHER

The aborigine's part brings a different air to a story that could only be a police action film. However, this choice could be further explored to increase tension.

The characters are typical policemen, which is expected from the genre. However, some characters could be better presented. Wilson is an uncredible "villain" because he is a little cartoonish.

It is not a rare gem. The story seems to start with an intriguing suspense atmosphere involving the abduction of a baby by a tribe, but right after, it becomes a police investigation movie without much innovation.

Film - Streaming, Film - Indie

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

If the author focuses more on the kidnapping, on the aborigines' proximity, on the mother who seems to be devastated, perhaps it would be a more intriguing story. It starts well, with a threatening atmosphere, but it quickly dissipates to make way for a rather tiring investigation, with the presence of many police officers. Many! To the point that you don't care so much about them. We don't care much about the mother because she is briefly introduced, so we don't know much about her. We don't care about the father for the same reason. We don't care about the detective because there are so many officers in the case that everything seems to lose focus and strength. Obviously, we want to discover who kidnapped the baby, but everything ends up being pure investigation, so we get tired of it quickly. It would be exciting if we could get to know this family better. Even if cliched, a backstory scene would fit right here to create some kind of empathy for this family. The investigation scenes could be interspersed with some sort of relief. The threatening atmosphere of the beginning could be maintained throughout the story, maintaining tension. And the final revelation is not interesting enough to make us breathless. In general, it has a good start, but it needs substantial improvement to become more relevant.