Brief

When Steve, an ex-military man, is diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's, his wife becomes his primary caregiver and advocate. As the disease progresses, so does Sonia's fight. After exhausting all avenues, including taking on the Veterans Affairs board, Sonia turns to making sure her husband's last days are memorable. She offers advice, tips and tricks for other caregivers facing this terrible illness, and displays continued strength, perseverance and kindness along the way.

What We Liked

Steve and Sonia's story is approachable, unfortunately relatable and delivers a message of hope and strength throughout a journey towards a tear-jerking conclusion. Surprisingly, this ends up being a female-driven narrative that focuses not only on Steve's debilitating illness, but on Sonia's often debilitating job as advocate and caregiver. It is raw, real and illustrates the nuances of the illness in an engaging, but not sugar-coated, way. Sonia's advice is kind, her intentions are so clearly pure and her love for Steve shines through in a way that audiences can understand, and truly feel.

Film: Here, the progression of Steve's illness provides structure to Sonia's narrative in a way that's easy to follow, and easy to understand. The story itself mostly follows Sonia as she transitions her life to become her husband's primary caregiver and advocate, all the while mourning the parts of him that are lost as he lives out his final years. The plot line is female-driven and touches on the perseverance, determination and sheer strong will it takes to fight for those we love and along the way, we see hope, strength, grief and love while swallowing Sonia's snippets of advice, should we ever someday need it.

TV: While the material feels much better suited for film because of its definitive ending and overall message, the story appeals on an emotional level to a wide audience. Fans of stories depicting soulmates or 'true love', those who enjoy female-driven narratives, and lovers of perseverance storylines can all appreciate this true story and one woman's fight for her husband's dignity during his last days.

Key points: Powerful, true story.
Tough, but important subject matter.
Relatable characters/situations.
Offers hope to caregivers.
Demonstrates the power of true love, ''till death do us part.'

Synopsis

In seventh grade, SONIA DISCHER met her future husband, STEVE, whom she would marry at twenty. Three weeks post-wedding, Steve was called to military bootcamp. Steve’s first assignment was in North Bay, Ontario where they stayed in a travel trailer until they found an apartment.

The couple’s first official posting was in Winnipeg, where Steve worked on planes. During this time, they gave birth to a daughter and then a son. The family purchased a trailer for camping and together, Sonia and Steve created an ideal life.

Although Steve’s second family was the military, the family ultimately settled in Petawawa, where Steve worked on helicopters in between tours. Though Steve had several close calls on tour, like the time his helicopter crash-landed in a mine field or the time he slipped through Arctic ice, more peril awaited them.

Sonia and Steve were blessed with a granddaughter, ALICIA. As Sonia and Steve settle into their empty nest, Steve begins having memory troubles. Sonia prints a simple memory test from the internet, which Steve fails. After copious testing and several different opinions, a diagnosis is delivered: Early Onset Alzheimer’s with a maximum of six years to live.

The first thing to go is Steve’s driver’s license. As little things begin to shift in their lives, Sonia and Steve contact their lawyer about creating a will and testament. They also make funeral arrangements while Steve is still lucid enough to communicate his wishes. Sonia develops a plan to make necklaces for her family with Steve’s ashes, so they always have a piece of him.

Sonia begins inquiring about medical trials for Steve to participate in, but his young age prevents him from being accepted. She discovers an experimental Stem Cell treatment that looks promising. After contacting Parliament in hopes of getting funding, Sonia is told to fundraise. She builds a website and begins advertising.

Young Alicia promises her grandmother that the family will do everything they can to care for Steve until he is ready, and proceeds to care for him throughout his illness. Sonia turns to figuring out how to keep Steve working for as long as possible, both for the money and for the brain stimulation. But as Steve continues to deteriorate, his company is forced to let him go.

Sonia discovers that Steve can no longer stay at home alone and contacts Community Care Access to arrange for home care. Between this and a day program at a local facility, Sonia is able to continue working. She learns how to read Steve’s facial expressions and how to communicate with him more slowly and deliberately. Steve loses his depth perception and his ability to handle cutlery well. Sonia exhausts herself and begins using respite care to allow for her own self-care.

Steve develops spasms and becomes prone to bouts of paranoia. When Sonia doesn’t believe him, Steve gets violent and threatens to leave. Sonia is forced to call the police, who take Steve to the hospital. When Sonia arrives at the hospital, Steve refuses to see her. He is transferred to a care facility for several weeks, and a friend of Sonia’s convinces her to visit. When she returns, she plans an eight-hour road trip for Steve to visit with his parents.

Sonia learns several techniques to help care for Steve, like forcing him to look her in the eye and speaking in single thought sentences. Meanwhile, she begins researching causes and settles on chemical exposure during Steve’s time with the military. She applies for benefits through Veteran’s Affairs but is denied. After getting word of a town hall hearing, Sonia attends and speaks on Steve’s behalf. She is approached by a Rear Admiral, who along with a member of parliament introduces her to the members of the Veterans Affairs board. She appeals the decision and spends hours gathering evidence, to learn that Steve didn’t use protective equipment. She is contacted by her legal advocate, who informs her that Steve smoked sixty cigarettes a day for twenty years, had three head injuries, high cholesterol and Alzheimer’s in his family. Knowing most of this to be untrue, Sonia works to disprove it. It takes her three years of fighting, but Steve is ultimately one of thirteen approved for benefits.

Sonia joins an Alzheimer’s support group as the youngest attendee. Still, she learns valuable information that to apply to her life with Steve. She returns to her research on Stem Cell treatments and organizes a benefit dance to raise money for the procedure. They travel to Mexico, where Steve undergoes treatment, and Sonia sees an immediate improvement. She raises money for four more treatments, but none have the same effect as the first.

Sonia puts together a memory book to help Steve identify meaningful people and places. Steve gets involved with Creative Hands; a woodworking program that helps him create presents for his family members. At lunch one day, Steve confesses that he struggles with his illness. Sonia does everything she can to continue to make memories with her family. They go to Florida, so Steve can see Alicia at Disney. They go rafting, and travel to England. Sonia even arranges for Steve to attend a men’s only hunting trip.

Steve begins releasing energy by running, despite any potential safety issues. After taking off several times alone, Sonia realizes that it’s time to put Steve into long-term care. During a visit with his best friend, BERND, Steve tries and fails to plan an escape. Sonia learns that he is constantly looking for an enemy, even going so far as to grab other residents by the shirt collars. Eventually, Steve is transported to the local hospital for an evaluation. He is sedated over and over again, until his geriatric specialist intervenes. From there, Steve is sent to the Royal Ottawa Hospital, where he ends up staying for six months, putting his bed in the long-term care facility at risk. After Sonia’s pleading, a kindly staff member promises to hold Steve’s bed.

Back the long-term care facility, Sonia continues to advocate for the best possible treatment for her husband. After urging Steve’s doctor to alert her when he’s dying, Sonia gets the call she’s been dreading. On March 19, 2017, Steve passes on. Instead of a funeral, Sonia has a Celebration of Life where all of Steve’s family and friends gather to honor their loved one. After recapping her feelings over the course of Steve’s illness, Sonia provides readers with a list of causes, a breakdown of the stages of Alzheimer’s and finally, a list of helpful resources.

About The Author

Sonia Discher is a passionate mother, grandmother and Early Onset Alzheimer's advocate. She wrote this book in honor of her late husband, Steve, and as a resource for other caregivers facing the disease.