ACTION, SUSPENSE, THRILLER, WAR

Dex, an air cargo specialist, finds a hidden treasure belonging to the head of the Marcos Death Squad. His attempt at securing some of the stolen goods ends up involving three more members of the US Air Force. The group of four are pursued by the Death Squad. They end up with a fortune nonetheless.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

For the most part the book is accurately described in the profile. Col Talan Madulás is mentioned in two separate entries within the "Additional Character Details" section.

The idea of the Davao Death Squad leader coming after members of the US Air Force for stealing their gold that was in turn stolen from petty criminals is very intriguing due to it's multi-layered morality. The Death Squad in and of itself is a fascinating part of political history and Guam is surprisingly interesting setting.

While the four main characters are likeable, their backstories take a while to set up before the treasure is discovered to cause the main conflict. By shortening the character introductions and introducing the conflict earlier there will be more tension and the characters will be logically intertwined.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that the antagonist is the leader of the ruthless Marcos Death Squad. This is a formidable antagonist with a reputation based on horrific history that is intimidating to escape under martial law even under the protection of the United States government. Seeing how the protagonists will evade the squad leader is a hook worth checking out.

This could have a fanbase that is larger depending on how military the genre is bent. If the story is adapted with more of an action slant it would have a larger audience that one that adheres to more of a military genre type war film.

This could potentially have Awards potential for the villain and how complex the colonial history of Guam, The Philippines, and Hawaii are delved into if adapted into a war film period piece. If the adaptation is more geared toward action, then the story is less likely to have awards potential as action movies rarely are nominated.

MEDIUM BUDGET

LAST SURVIVOR, THE ACT OF KILLING, SQUARE OFF, PEARL HARBOR, THE HEART OF DARKNESS

The originality comes from the setting and antagonist. The Philippines is a rich source of political corruption both by the government and the United States in their colonial ties to the the nation. Rather than focusing so much in the beginning on the character's personal dramas and military life, it could be beneficial to explain some of the political history of what makes the death squad so horrifying. Introducing the main conflict earlier and giving as much backstory to the antagonist will help make the tension rise faster and make all of the characters equally three dimensional.

The main protagonist of Dex goes through a character arc of learning to be unselfish while also learning to value himself during the heist. He excels in hist cargo position, but learns that his relationships are more important than his work, and that there is room for pride in all his activities.

This has a rare gem potential in that the Davao Death Squad is truly stuff of nightmares and the corruption within the Philippines is a rich setting that is largely underrepresented in most countries' cinemas despite the geographic influence of The Philippines during wars and global colonial history. Focusing so much on US Armed Forces bureaucracy and the personal arcs rather than the main external conflict of the reclaiming sidetracks the rising actions and thematic focus of the story.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

By introducing the antagonist and Death Squad much earlier, the story would have greater focus on one external conflict to link all of the four characters in a logical manner. A lot of time is spent on the character's internal conflicts, but the external conflict is what drives the pacing. Creating rising actions regarding the main conflict earlier in the first part of the story would help even out the pacing and create a hook to introduce tension.