Mammoot Lost In Time

Shaun Bray shauny.bray@hotmail.co.uk 1400073125947

ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY FAMILY CHILDREN'S FUNNY YOUNG ADULT EPIC DRAMA

Across Centuries,20th Century (multiple decades),2000s,Future

Shaun Bray

  • -
  • Views

Logline

Jumah and Elsa are a pair of young elephants who get an unexpected delivery from tens of thousands of years ago, a baby Mammoth called Mammoot. The story is about 4 unexpected friends finding a way to get Mammoot and Fladge, who mistakenly delivered Mammoot back to their own time

Genre

Action,Adventure,Comedy,Family,Children's,Funny,Young Adult,Epic,Drama

Short Summary

A pair of young Elephants get a very unexpected delivery and have to grow up fast in order get Mammoot and Fladge back home which just happens to be tens of thousands of years ago


After fighting with everything from Hyenas to Hunters they finally get Mammoot and Flagde home and Jumah takes his place as the new Shumbor, God of all Elephants

Setting

African plains/jungle(present and thousands of years ago)

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Voyage and Return,Quest,Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending,Twist,Meaningful Message

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Mammoot

Age: Baby

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Confident,Charming,Heroic,Funny,Selfless,Modest,Aspiring,Adventurous

Additional Character Details

Name: Fladge

Age: teen

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Underdog,Modest,Clumsy,Charming,Crazy,Faithful,Heroic,Insecure,Funny,Selfless

Additional Character Details

Name: Jumah

Age: teen

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Faithful,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Funny,Selfless

Additional Character Details

Name: Elsa

Age: teen

Gender: Female

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Badass,Charming,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Heroic,Honorable,Funny,Selfless,Modest

Development Pitch

Mammoot needs to be seen around the world and i believe it to be the next big animated movie. Mammoot Lost In Time, is full of amazing characters who you will instantly fall in love with, you'll laugh with them and you'll cry with them, with just the right amount of danger and Godly magic thrown in for good measure. Jumah and Elsa are a pair of young lovable Elephants, who are hilarious together. Mammoot is an adorable Baby Mammoth and Fladge, well he's Fladge a one of a kind baby delivering Tarriden from thousands of years ago. Along the way we also meet Marge and Neil, a pair of warthogs, hilarious. We also meet 4 more adorable Baby Mammoths, Kini, Tray, Bobby and Tyrus who all help in their own unique little way. Everyone who has read my story has commented on the fact it would make a great animated movie so on the back of that, here we go. With its history within my family, seeing Mammoot on the big screen would be the best thing that could ever happen.

About The Author

My story began around 35 years ago with the original being written by my dad, when he passed in 2007 i was given a box of stories and Mammoot was among them so i started re-writing. I am 48 years old, married to Mikina and have 3 boys. I had my book published here in the UK but my publisher let me down badly. Everyone who has read Mammoot have always said it would make an excellent animated movie, it will make you laugh and cry with just a smidge of danger thrown in.

Target Audiences

Age: 7-12

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: with a Publisher

Publisher: Austin Macauley

Year Published: 2016

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

9781785546327

Genre

COMEDY, FANTASY

Brief

Shumbor is the God of elephants who has reigned a long time and is looking for a replacement, so, he devises a plan to find an heir. He uses the bird Fladge (because of Fladge's ambitious, yet clumsy nature) to deliver a Wooly Mammoth called Mammoot to the wrong time period. Mammoot is found by Jumah and Elsa who endeavor to bring him back to his home. Fighting past dangerous animals and hunters Jumah manages to return Mammoot back to his time and earn the title as heir to being the God of Elephants as Shumbor planned originally.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

The book profile accurately reflects the book.

Draw of Story

There was nothing particular in the story that drew me in immediately.

Possible Drawbacks

The overall tone of the story and the "mythos" of the world feels strange given the target audience. Toning down some of the language would help with this.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The story promises a fantasy narrative with action and sci-fi elements involving time travel. With the addition of Anthropomorphic animals this is a unique way to explore these fantastical concepts.

Fanbase Potential

I don't see this having a large fanbase. The premise and the writing don't really match up. The writing feels like its targeted towards small children with the odd exception of the inclusion of somewhat mature language. It would be hard to place this story in a demographic to garner a fanbase because of this.

Awards Potential

I don't see this story garnering awards/acclaim due to the aforementioned uneven tone that disrupts the engagement with the story. Thematically, it's hard to see what message the author is trying to get across and the characters, while zany, aren't all that memorable.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

FILMS SUCH AS "ICE AGE", "THE LION KING", AND "THE LAND BEFORE TIME" ARE SIMILAR TO THIS STORY DUE TO SIMILAR PLOTS, THE FEATURING OF ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMALS, AND SIMILAR CHARACTER ARCS.

What’s New About the Story

The inclusion of time travel and animal deities make this unique for a children's story, but doesn't quite come together because of the uneven tone and the unnecessary complicated nature of the world (when considering the potential audience for this story).

Lead Characters

There is nothing in particular about the characters that stand out in this story. The minor character, Shumbor, stands out for his devious way of choosing an heir. Otherwise, the other characters in this story are straightforward.

Uniqueness of Story

This is not a rare gem. Tweaking the writing and the plot to match up with the target audience would go a long way in improving this story. The protagonist of this story has a solid, albeit, familiar arc, so improving the tone and simplifying some of the plot elements would help make this story resonate more with a broader audience.

Possible Formats

Film - Streaming, Film - Studio

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

Finding a good middle ground for the tone, world-building, and language based on the target audience would go a long way into making this story marketable and engaging.