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Book Cover

ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY CRIME YOUNG ADULT ROMANCE OTHER

1940s & '50s,1960s & '70s,1980s & '90s

nope

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Logline

The year is 1952. The quest for the 5 rings has begun in the 80 day round the world treasure hunt. Little does our hero JJ know as he enters this competition he will discover he is able to use an ancient technique called kaichi as he makes friends, discovers powerful enemies, and struggles to make u

Genre

Action,Adventure,Comedy,Crime,Young Adult,Romance,Other

Short Summary

On a dirt road in a buggy: A light brown man with an afro and purple eyes wears a suit with a brown belt with loops with A gold peace sign belt buckle. He is in his leather jacket and shelby cap to protect him against the harsh winter of England as he smokes a doobie while driving down the road in a


hound boy confronts his brother superior man

Setting

la, uk, isreal, and a fictional place called inu ni Kasei

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest,Voyage and Return

Plot - Other Elements

Coming of Age,Other

Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence,Nudity, Language/Profanity,Substance Abuse

Main Character Details

Name: JJ Walker

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Charming,Clumsy,Engaging,Underdog,Unapologetic,Funny,Outspoken,Sexy,Uneducated,Masculine

Additional Character Details

Name: Superior Man

Age: 14 or 15

Gender: Male

Role: Antagonist

Key Traits: Charming,Confident,Criminal,Desperate,Heartthrob,Leader,Seductive,Romantic,Power Hungry,Sexy,Villainous,Masculine,Engaging

Additional Character Details

Name: nope

Age: 2020

Gender: Lgbt

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Aspiring

Additional Character Details

Name: nope

Age: 200

Gender: Lgbt

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Charming

Development Pitch

i would like you to take a look at this book and see how heros should be now a days heros are not heros any more but in my first journey books they are no politics just fun

About The Author

savai toler

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Male Leaning,Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: nope

Year Published: 2020

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

Information not completed

Genre

ACTION, FANTASY

Brief

The government institutes a treasure hunt, and some citizens now have the chance to find rings and have a wish accomplished. JJ, the protagonist, is one of these guys who will search for the treasure while he tries to survive in this dangerous journey.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

It does, but I believe the author should include more characters there.

Draw of Story

It has a manga style, with some fantastic features. The story is written as a script, but it's not a script. These particularities drew my attention.

Possible Drawbacks

It's very confusing. There are too many characters that are introduced abruptly, and the pace is really quick, so sometimes it's hard to follow the story.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

I'd say the hook is the manga/anime style. If it becomes a live-action, it'd interesting to see how the filmmakers would produce this narrative visually.

Fanbase Potential

If the author creates a full series based on these characters, it could have a fanbase. However, these characters need further development.

Awards Potential

I don't think it has Awards potential, especially narratively speaking. Maybe, it could have some potential with technical Awards if the visuals help to tell the story.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

HUNGER GAMES - CITIZENS ARE INVITED TO JOIN A GAME IN ORDER TO EARN MONEY AND FAME. KILL BILL - BECAUSE OF THIS ASIAN, ANIME-LIKE ENVIRONMENT, AND THE MARTIAL TECHNIQUE THAT IS ABLE TO KILL A PERSON WITH ONLY ONE TOUCH. DOCTOR STRANGE - AFTER BEING TRAINED BY A MASTER, THE PROTAGONIST BECOMES A POWERFUL MAN.

What’s New About the Story

It's written as a script, and some bizarre/super fantastic features could draw some attention.

Lead Characters

The lead characters need further development and more time "on screen" to be presented. Everything happens so fast, and there are so many characters that it's easy to feel lost.

Uniqueness of Story

Not a rare gem. It needs improvements, and its narrative is not powerful enough to be a gem.

Possible Formats

Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

I would improve the writing style, the lines, and the actions to make the story more powerful, more punchy. The author has good ideas, interesting visual solutions, but in terms of narrative, the book needs development, it needs to set up a specific goal. We start with the treasure hunt, and then we are thrown in different directions: a fight between gangs, the millenary martial art, the training sessions, and it ends up that we forget about the hunt. It has potential for a franchise, but the characters need to be more complex. We need to know them more to engage more efficiently. The pace has not been used the right way. I understand that an action movie needs a faster pace and quicker scenes, but here we feel lost. It needs to set up things better, introduce characters better, it needs to tell the story in a way we can follow. The premise is nice, but if the hunt is not so important after some pages, it feels that the premise wasn't respected or followed. The structure is too messy, and it needs improvements. Again, the author has good ideas, nice visual solutions, the author creates a fantastic environment that resembles the ones we find in mangas, and the premise, if followed, is engaging, but the storytelling needs development.