A Ghosts In Da Ghetto Story

Twinchin Tention

Book Cover

GENRE

HORROR YOUNG ADULT

    Core Theme

    RELATIONSHIPS

    TIME PERIOD

    2000s

    COMPARABLE TITLES

    JUICE, MENACE II SOCIETY, BOYZ N THE HOOD

    CHARACTER LIST

    FRANKLIN THOMAS (M/20) -- SMOOTH, BLACK, ATLANTA-NATIVE, AND LADIES MAN.
    NOTE: ALL CHARACTERS ARE BLACK.

    DAVID JOHNSON (M/17) -- FRANKLIN'S LATE BROTHER WHO APPEARS TO HIM AS A GHOST AND BECOMES HIS CONFIDANT.

    MERCEDES (F/20) -- SEDUCTIVE, INTELLIGENT, REFINED WOMAN WHO CAPTURES FRANKLIN'S HEART.

    CANDY (F/20S) -- FORWARD, AGGRESSIVE HOOK-UP BUDDY OF FRANKLIN'S.

    RITA (F/50S) -- FRANKLIN'S FORWARD BOSS WHO PAYS HIM FOR SEX.

    QUENTION (M/20S) -- FRANKLIN'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, HIS MOST LOYAL, LIVING FRIEND.

    Logline

    A foster child discovering the life he never knew as family in meeting his father in 1 and his mother in the second novel.

    Target Audiences

    Age: 18-34,35-54

    Target Gender: Universal

    Setting

    Atlanta, Ga

    Based on a True Story

    No

    Publishing Details

    Status: Yes: self-published

    Publisher: Kindle Publishing

    Year Published: 2020

    Starting Description

    Clarkston, Ga in the last week of october.

    Ending Description

    The main character sets the tone for the sequel with a ending mistake to the opener.

    Group Specific

    Information not completed

    Hard Copy Available

    Yes

    ISBN

    Information not completed

    Mature Audience Themes

    Language/Profanity

    Plot - Other Elements

    Coming of Age,Meaningful Message,Philosophical Questions,Twist

    Plot - Premise

    Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rags to Riches,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Tragedy

    Main Character Details

    Name: Franklin Thomas

    Age: 27

    Gender: Male

    Role: Logical

    Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Complex,Confident,Leader,Skillful,Blunt

    Additional Character Details

    The author has not yet written this

    Additional Character Details

    The author has not yet written this

    Additional Character Details

    The author has not yet written this

    Development Pitch

    The haunting new thriller from Twinchin Tention is filled with Ghosts Purple, bizarre occurances, and supernatural tension that is sure to awaken the darkest corners of the human imagination. For readers who value originality and literature that stretches modern fictions boundaries, A Ghosts In Da Ghetto Story is an absolute must!

    Genre

    SUSPENSE, THRILLER, DRAMA, MATURE AUDIENCE

    Brief

    Former foster child and Atlanta-native FRANKLIN THOMAS drives non-emergency medical transports for a living. One day, he unknowingly transports the corpse of his long lost brother, DAVID. Soon, Franklin and his ghostly brother David form a tight bond, where David helps Franklin navigate through a complex web of romantic and sexual partners and through dealing with a myriad of other lingering spirits. David even helps equip Franklin with a stolen batch of a million dollars, which he uses to spoil his girlfriends and to help their shared father. All the while, gang violence seems to be escalating in the area.

    Overall Rating

    FAIR

    Point of View

    THIRD PERSON

    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: FAIR

    Characterization: GOOD

    Commerciality: GOOD

    Franchise Potential: FAIR

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: GOOD

    Structure: FAIR

    Theme: FAIR

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    The book profile has much room for improvement, as many parts leave more to be desired. For example, the log line and short summary are sparing and vague, doing little to clarify the concept or to drum up excitement for the text. Also, the character details section is entirely lacking.

    Draw of Story

    What drew me into the story immediately was the unique concept-- A very strange, even anachronistic pairing of urban life with the supernatural-- Not a common combination, but one used to solid effect. Also, the character of Franklin stood out as complex and flawed, which are virtues. He has just as many positive attributes to go along with his apparent selfishness and his hubris that seems to grow as the text progresses. Namely, he is intelligent, funny, and an inarguably loyal friend.

    Possible Drawbacks

    There were a few things that made me want to put the book down. The main thing is that there is much opportunity in this text to cut, condense, and simplify. It feels like the descriptions and dialogue are vivid and distinct to a fault-- Like the author spends too much time and verbiage to make his points to the point that it jars with the reader's engagement. A perfect example of this comes around page 50, when key characters order Chinese food-- In this scene, we spend upwards of a page entirely on ordering the food-- Something that could easily have been accounted for in a line or two. All in all, another pass with an eye for efficiency and word economy would only help this text.

    Use of Special Effects

    THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

    Primary Hook of Story

    The hook is that this work features a pairing of two sub-genres that have not often, if ever, been tied together. The result is a subversive, interesting, and modern world that is a perfect backdrop for the author's flawed, human characters. This will be sure to entice a niche audience and will hopefully draw a curious, wider audience, too.

    Fanbase Potential

    This would not have a wide fanbase, per se, but it bodes well for having a loyal and substantial audience given its focal points on not one but two largely separate genre spaces. This is perhaps the most one can ask for at this point for a story devoid of superheroes and superpowers and that does not borrow from an established IP.

    Awards Potential

    No, this is not an awards-type movie. It is more entertainment-driven and obsequious than the more auteur or art-leaning films that typically vie for nominations.

    Envisioned Budget

    MEDIUM BUDGET

    Similar Films/TV Series

    JUICE, BOYZ N THE HOOD, MENACE II SOCIETY

    What’s New About the Story

    One of the key strengths of this work is, in fact, the originality of its anachronistic concept. The opportunities to make it more original, then, are sparse. However, as far as execution is concerned, there is still much opportunity to cut, condense, and simplify this work, which would only further uplift and distinguish its concept.

    Lead Characters

    The lead character in Franklin Thomas stands out in that he is flawed, human, and complex. As noted, his positive attributes are just enough to overpower his varied negative attributes. This makes him feel real and human as opposed to plastic and basic. His easy-going ways in the face of intensifying social stakes make him likable and fun to follow.

    Uniqueness of Story

    This could be a rare gem, thanks to its doubly niche concept. However, what is holding it back is the excessive amount of time and word economy it takes to make its points and to tell its story. This work, it feels like, has no need to exceed 350 pages. A simple scanning through to cut, condense, and simplify what is not essential could get us to this more palatable page count in no time.

    Possible Formats

    Film:Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Limited Run / Mini-Series, Streaming

    Analyst Recommendation

    WORK IN PROGRESS

    Justification

    Despite its many virtues and the originality of its concept, this work certainly leans toward a work in progress due to some of its bloat and inefficiency. As noted, there is ample opportunity to simplify this work and to lower its rather large page count. Doing so would yield a work that simply has the same amount of impact but that takes far less time to achieve it.

    Tips for Improvement

    The author would need to do another pass simply to identify the sections that have lower value-per-page than others and to mitigate them by cutting, and if not cutting, condensing and simplifying.

    Brief

    When savvy Atlanta-native Franklin Thomas encounters the ghost of a brother he never new about, he finds himself paired with a loyal confidant who helps guide him through relationship woes and through helping their shared father, a recent parolee.

    What We Liked

    This work stood out for its surprising and largely effective genre mash-up. It bodes well for adaptation and for this work finding a sizable enough audience in that it appeals squarely to two established genres. The main character in Franklin also stood out for how uncommonly complex and flawed he was-- He feels human and relatable as a result.

    Film: This is a viable candidate for adaptation to film given the many juicy moments that will be sure to lure a curious audience. This is to say that sex content in this is, in some ways, relentless. Pairing that with the supernatural elements and melodramatic aspects in this work will be certain to attract a committed, established audience.

    TV: This would be a good adaptation for TV thanks to the well-built-out world the author has invested in. There are endless supporting players that provide opportunities for subplots, and the world around them feels distinct and worthy of further exploration than a mere two hours can provide.

    Key points:
    1. The ghost elements that will appeal to fans of the supernatural.
    2. The many sex scenes that yield commercial viability.
    3. The unique genre mashup.
    4. The distinct, well-rendered Atlanta backdrop of the story.
    5. The many facets of relationship drama.

    Synopsis

    FRANKLIN THOMAS, 20s, is a former foster child and Atlanta native who makes a living driving non-emergency medical vehicles. He spends his time hitting on front desk assistant RAY-RAY, 20s, deflecting the advances of his horny, cougar boss RITA, and hanging with his most loyal friend and coworker, QUENTION, 20s. One day, Franklin transports the body of a young man, DAVID, 17, who appears to him as a ghost. At the club with Quention, Franklin meets the seductive, aggressive CANDY, 20s. They hook up at a get-together at a famous rapper's mansion outside of Atlanta.

    In rent trouble, Franklin soon agrees to sleep with his boss Rita for money. Soon, he meets his birth father, GRANT JOHNSON, 50s, for the first time. Grant tells his son how he's fresh out of prison and how his half-brother, David, recently died after being hit by a bus. With that, Franklin realizes that the ghost he has been hearing and seeing is his late brother. After sleeping with Rita, Franklin agrees to sleep with RHONDA, a heavy-set friend of Rita's, for money. Soon, David becomes permanently apparent to Franklin, becoming a loyal right-hand-man to him. Other ghosts, the street-smart ASHLEY and ALICIA soon appear to Franklin, too. Franklin sleeps with Rhonda, but one of the female ghosts possesses her, and tops Franklin without a condom on.

    Franklin continues to hook up with Candy, but he soon meets the more feminine and put-together MERCEDES, and he quickly develops feelings for her. David and the ghosts help Franklin evade a robbery on the road. Soon, it becomes clear that Grant is in money trouble with local gangsters, and David tries to get Franklin to help him.

    Franklin finds out that Rhonda is pregnant with his child. David decides to possess a businessman, and he delivers a million dollars to his living brother. With that, Franklin gives half to help his father get out of the drug/gangster game, and Franklin goes to town spending on his women and friends.

    Soon, Franklin finds himself in a pickle between Candy and Mercedes. He has feelings for Mercedes and wants to be with her, but he wants to keep sleeping with Candy, too. David urges him to dump Candy and commit to Mercedes, but Franklin tries to keep both. It backfires, though, and Mercedes cuts him out. Franklin resorts to severing ties with Candy and eventually makes up with Mercedes, who he intends to be with long term.

    David helps Franklin win the lottery, enabling him to live comfortably indefinitely. Eventually, Franklin quits his day job driving the medical transport, given his newfound riches. All the while, gang violence from a group called the "Silverback Gorillas" has escalated exponentially. Alicia and Ashley gear up to take revenge on the people that killed them a year prior, teasing the story of the next book.

    About The Author