Shoot the Messenger
When one of Kesh Lasota's illegal messages kills its recipient, she's plunged into an ancient war between magic and technology. Wanted for murder and on-the-run from the law, Kesh must uncover the true killer. But not everything is as it seems, including Kesh herself.
Messenger, Kesh Lasota, with the help of her AI drone, just wants to keep her head down and earn a living. When a sniper assassinates her latest recipient, she must hunt the killer to clear her name. But nothing is as it seems. The killer is fae—a race of beings not seen in Halow for 1000 years.
*WARNING SPOILER* With the truth unveiled, Kesh's entire story is revealed to be lies. She is the infamous "wraithmaker", the fae king's assassin, sent to kill the missing prince, betraying everyone she knows and loves in the process.
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Main Character Details
Name: Kesh Lasota
Age: Early 20s
Key Traits: Badass,Complex,Skillful,Sarcastic,Secretive,Manipulative
Additional Character Details
Name: Marshal Kellee
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Charming,Complex,Confident,Honorable,Leader,Masculine,Sexy,Skillful,Funny
Additional Character Details
Key Traits: Complex,Confident,Empathetic,Faithful,Heroic,Modest,Sexy,Skillful,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Lies aren't her only weapons against the fae... In the Halow system, one of Earth’s three sister star systems, tek and magic—humans and fae—are at war. Kesh Lasota is a ghost in the machine. Invisible to tek, she’s hired by the criminal underworld to carry illegal messages through the Halow system. But when one of those messages kills its recipient, Kesh finds herself on the run with a bounty on her head and a quick-witted marshal on her tail. Proving her innocence should be straightforward. Until a warfae steals the evidence she needs. The fae haven’t been seen in Halow in over a thousand years. And this one—a brutally efficient killer able to wield tek—should not exist. But neither should Kesh. As Kesh’s carefully crafted lie of a life crumbles around her, she knows being invisible is no longer an option. To hunt the warfae, to stop him from destroying a thousand-year fragile peace, she must resurrect the horrors of her past. Kesh Lasota was a ghost. Now she’s back, and there’s only one thing she knows for certain: Nobody shoots the messenger and gets away with it.
FANTASY, THRILLER, ACTION, WAR, POLITICS, MATURE AUDIENCE
Kesh is a "messenger", who is framed for the murder of a union leader. She soon learns there is a "fae" involved, the long thought extinct species of magic wielders. In an effort to clear her name and recover her friend she embarks on a journey to get to the root of the conspiracy. She unravels the plot of the "fae" and reveals her long concealed involvement with them in the process, vowing to stop their ambitions of eradicating the human species.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile accurately reflects the book.
Draw of Story
The author did a good job of capturing the reader's attention by beginning the story at the inciting incident. The opening scene is action-packed, engaging, and draws a lot of intrigue.
The author has a lot of ground to cover in terms of exposition, but unfortunately does not do it in an effective way. Instead of providing the reader with background information about the world of the story and the race of "fae", we rely on the protagonist's internal thoughts to relay this when it is relevant to the particular scene. This leaves the reader somewhat confused and relying on the author to "spell-out" important information, giving the reader less interaction with the story.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
A seemingly ordinary messenger is caught up in an intergalactic conspiracy, but the audience soon learns that the protagonist is at the center of it.
This story has the potential for a moderate fanbase. The elements preventing this story from having a large fanbase is its mature content and complex mythos, confining the demographic of potential viewers to a primarily adult one.
I don't see this story having much potential for awards/acclaim, due to it being primarily "plot-driven". Although, the protagonist is interesting and layered due to their background, this isn't nearly explored enough due to an effort to preserve a plot twist. Also, there aren't any resonant themes presented overall in the work.
Similar Films/TV Series
SHOWS AND FILMS LIKE "BLADE RUNNER", "THE FIFTH ELEMENT", "TRIGUN", "COWBOY BEBOP" AND "MEMENTO" ARE SIMILAR TO THIS STORY, DUE TO THEIR SCI-FI SETTING AND/OR FEATURING A COMPLEX PROTAGONIST HARBORING A DARK SECRET THAT SHAKES UP THE PLOT OF THEIR RESPECTIVE STORY.
What’s New About the Story
The protagonist is somewhat unique due to her repressed background that shakes up the plot of the story. Her status as a genetically engineered human who is responsible for the internal conflict of a race thought to be dead is a major shock to the reader. However, this unique twist would be more effective if the story presented early exposition on the "fae", their politics, and the "rules" of the world.
As stated above, the protagonist, and some of her companions (Marshall Kellee and Larsen), have very complex backgrounds.
Uniqueness of Story
If the dialogue and overall plot were tweaked a little to seem less formulaic and/or more depth is given to characters who already have the benefit of complex backgrounds, this story could become a rare gem.
TV Series - Network, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
The world is there, the characters are there, the only thing that is needed really is a thematic thread to weave everything together. A strong theme for the story would help the author in determining how to effectively convey the goals and motivations for the characters and figuring out how to handle the exposition for the complex world they created.