Bonanzaville
Logline
Abandoned as a child, a helpless man ventures out to meet his dying father, only to be forced by his father into competing in a twisted version of the Survivor game show to prove his self worth so that he may inherit all of his father's fortune and power.
Genre
Suspense/Thriller,Action,Adventure
Short Summary
Red is abandoned as a child and grows up in the foster system. 25 years later Red receives a letter from his natural father asking to meet him. Red travels to meet his father but gets swept up in his father's twisted survivor game show and must find a way to escape.
Red has been tortured for days by his father and his band of criminals but escapes only to return to exact his revenge on his father and find out the real reason his father wanted him to come to this land of evil.
Setting
New York
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence, Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Frederick John Bonaduce (Red)
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Underdog,Insecure,Desperate,Uneducated,Modest,Lone Wolf
Additional Character Details
Name: Ben Cartwright
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Aggressive,Complex,Confident,Crazy,Criminal,Greedy,Leader,Manipulative,Sarcastic,Power Hungry,Narcisstic,Villainous
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Development Pitch
“Bonanzaville” is a “Survivor Thriller” written along the lines of films such as “The Hunger Games” and “The Maze Runner.” The story is about a young man named Red, who grew up in the foster system in rural West Virginia. Red is experiencing financial and work difficulties when he receives an invitation from his natural father wanting to meet him in a town called Bonanzaville that is located in the Catskill Mountains. Red travels to meet him only to find out that his father, who now goes by the name Cartwright, is dying but is also extremely wealthy and powerful. Unbeknownst to Red, Cartwright rules over the town of Bonanzaville with his army of thugs and uses games based on the Survivor reality show to determine who is worthy enough to join him and his band of criminals. Red stands to inherit all of Cartwright’s money and power after his death but must agree to continue the Survivor games as part of the deal. Red is then tricked into competing in the games and must try to figure out why his father has forced him into these games of physical and mental torture. Red finally escapes and vows never to return to this evil town but he eventually does decide to come back and help others that are being held captive with the main goal of avenging his father for having forced him to have lived like an animal the past three days and to get the answers he has always wanted to know.
Genre
SUSPENSE, THRILLER, ACTION
Brief
Red's father disappears and he loses his mother in a house fire growing up. He hears from his father years later after ageing out of the foster care sister. He visits his father only to learn that the dad is dying and Red is set to inherit his powerball winnings. The only problem is that the father forces Red to compete in a twisted Survivor type game in order to claim his inheritance.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The profile generally reflects the storyline minus the logline. The logline mentions that Ben creates the Survivor competition in Bonanzaville, but does not mention that Red is forced to participate in the game and fight for his life. As this is the main draw of the premise it would make sense to focus on Red reuniting with hi crazy father and being forced into the game as the logline rather than the foster care detail in such a sort space of information.
Draw of Story
The hook of the Survivor game is not clear from the start because the games are not introduced until partway through the second act. Red's backstory and introducing the world building takes up more time than the normal first ten pages in which the main objective in introduced. It is a good surprise but could be introduced earlier in the first act.
Possible Drawbacks
The logic of Cartwright is hard to follow at times and the newly integrated theme of revenge makes the third act feel like a continuation of a sequel rather than part of the resolution.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Red is reunited with his long lost father only to then find out his father is dying of bone cancer and that he is heir for a powerball fortune worth the entire town. The kicker is that in order to receive his right to inherit, Red must compete is a twisted Survivor game orchestrated by his father.
Fanbase Potential
This could have a large fanbase of people who enjoy simple entertaining action films that are easy to follow in plot. It would appeal more to men than women.
Awards Potential
Given its drama as an action film and its lack of social issues being addressed, the story would likely not get serious awards, but may garner popular awards.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
THE HUNGER GAMES, WINTER'S BONE, THE GREEN ROOM, 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE, SHUTTER ISLAND, NERVE
What’s New About the Story
The orginality stems from the twist that the father reunites with his long lost son only to try and kill the son or have the son kill him. By introducing this premise earlier, the secondary theme that he is hoping his son is brave enough to end Ben's misery can have more time to develop. A lot of time is use to express the illegal activity of the other characters when they are not as central to the father son relationship and their activities are not relevant to their conflicts.
Lead Characters
Red is a caring and adaptive protagonist with a survivor mentality despite all that he went through as a child. Ben is desperate and numb in a way that makes his villainy unfeeling and cold and entirely unpredictable because it is devoid of emotional logic.
Uniqueness of Story
The premise is pretty unusual, but the pacing needs to be adjusted and the character need consistent internal conflicts to create greater emotional investment to the external tasks.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
The pacing of the first act delays the main external conflict from being introduced until partway through the second act. Because the twist is central to understanding the main character dynamic this also creates static characters for the first act with inconsistent different goals in each act.
Tips for Improvement
Creating unified internal conflicts and clearer consistent themes would help make the three acts more cohesive. Making the first act less about introducing the other characters and Red's backstory and skipping more quickly to introducing the premise could help focus the relationship of the father and son which is the meat of the narrative.