Hellgirl: Rise of Hellion
LGBT ADVENTURE ACTION DRAMA SUSPENSE/THRILLER YOUNG ADULT ROMANCE
Contemporary
Mary Ramsey
Submision Type
book
Logline
Homeless teen runway, Nicki never lost her compassion. This results in her getting dragged into a human trafficking sting operation, that goes horribly wrong, resulting in the loss of her legs. She awakens in a secret military hospital, with a new life and a new purpose.
Genre
LGBT,Adventure,Action,Drama,Suspense/Thriller,Young Adult,Romance
Short Summary
Homeless teen runway, Nicki never lost her compassion. This results in her getting dragged into a human trafficking sting operation, that goes horribly wrong, resulting in the loss of her legs. She awakens in a secret military hospital, with a new life and a new purpose.
Setting
Vancouver, Canada, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Happy Ending
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence,Nudity,Sexual Abuse,Substance Abuse, Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Nicki
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Aggressive,Charming,Complex,Honorable
Additional Character Details
Name: Tony
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Sexy,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Alexi
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Masculine,Narcisstic,Manipulative
Additional Character Details
Name: Kitsune
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Aggressive,Confident,Sexy,Narcisstic,Power Hungry
Genre
ROMANCE, MATURE AUDIENCE, DRAMA, RELIGION, LGBT
Brief
Adam recalls his past mistakes with the guidance of seven angels who represent his errors of the seven deadly sins throughout his life. Before Adam dies and joins one of the angels, he is able to make peace with his family and finds happiness that the two women he loved found each other and are starting a family with his adopted daughter and unborn child.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: GOOD
Premise: FAIR
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile somewhat reflects the narrative. One difference is that the character of Noah is noted as a major character as he is chosen to be in the four characters of the character details when Jamie has a bigger influence in the story. The description of the seven trials is confusing as Adam is just observing different perspectives about his past that he can't change, he can only change his mindset so it is unclear who the seven sins are trials as described in the profile rather than as past history or scenarios.
Draw of Story
Adam meeting angels that guide to learn a new perspective about his troubled past provides an interesting modern take similar to the Christmas Carol classic. Adam lived an epic life and his transcendence at the end feels as if Adam is ready after reliving and learning from everything.
Possible Drawbacks
Adam's relationships with the angels can get somewhat distracting in going through his old life simultaneously. Allowing the angels to help guide Adam's inner conflict resolution rather than create a new life with him might make his character feel more three-dimensional.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Adam is shown his past with seven different angels to help understand and prepare him for death. The angel categories are discussing thematic issues in Adam's life with real past examples based around the seven deadly sins. Making the themes stronger than the character dynamics might help clarify the message of each angel.
Fanbase Potential
Due to the mix of LGBT which isn't always accepted in religious environments versus being religious which isn't always comfortable for LGBTQ communities, the audience may be divided into a smaller specific crowd. It could also gain an audience with the experimental crowd due to its structure and angel relationships.
Awards Potential
Due to the religious aspects and heavily mature romantic subplots, this is unlikely to gain awards due to the two polar universes this story is unlikely to earn prestige nominations.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
A CHRISTMAS CAROL, ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD, TRUE BLOOD, LUCIFER, SEVEN MORTAL SINS
What’s New About the Story
The originality of the story stems from the dynamics with the angels and all of the trauma that Adam survived to still become a good person.
Lead Characters
The originality of the story stems from the dynamics with the angels and all of the trauma that Adam survived to still become a good person.
Uniqueness of Story
This is definitely a rare concept of having an angel hookup with their mortal mentee. However the premise of how they meet and the lessons that the angels teach Adam are unclear based on his inability to change the past.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Clarifying Adam's goal and transformation will help showcase how the angels are influencing Adam's reflection on his past. A clear goal for Adam would also help enhance what the themes of his different past part are meant to represent after a transformation.