Entitlement

Book Cover

DRAMA CRIME FAMILY MYSTERY SUSPENSE/THRILLER

1980s & '90s,1960s & '70s

Leslee McCall

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Logline

Abby Young becomes the in-law from hell when she steals the heart of a family member. She embraces the opportunity to start a new life and hide from her previous one. When her troubled past is discovered, she must take action to hide it.

Genre

Drama,Crime,Family,Mystery,Suspense/Thriller

Short Summary

Brad Desmond is recently divorced and vulnerable. Enter Abby who appears to make Brad happy again. His family members are cautious from a distance, but embrace their relationship. Their relationship moves quickly and Brad is head over heels.


There are a lot of twists and turns in this story, with an unexpected, suspenseful ending.

Setting

USA; various locations

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Twist

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Abby Young

Age: Late 20's, early 30's

Gender: Female

Role: Antagonist

Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Desperate,Complex,Educated,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Skillful,Outspoken,Power Hungry,Blunt,Narcisstic

Additional Character Details

Name: Brad Desmond

Age: Late 20's , early 30's

Gender: Male

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Gracious,Honorable,Educated,Romantic,Skillful,Selfless,Modest

Additional Character Details

Name: There are several; all with different characteristics

Age:

Gender:

Role:

Key Traits:

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

While writing Entitlement, I often envisioned the story as a movie. While many have that one family member who is disruption, Entitlement goes a lot deeper. Ideally, an adaption would follow the path of the book by flipping between the present and past. I think it would take viewers some time to connect the dots, making the story that much more suspenseful. Combining the psychotic behavior of the lead character, along with her gift of hiding it, is the basis for a great movie!

About The Author

Leslee McCall is a native of Maryland and mother of two adult sons. She is an operations manger by profession, and an animal activist since childhood. She currently resides with a dog and two cats, all adopted. While being encouraged to write from an early age, this is her first professional self-published book.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+,13-17

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Bookbaby Publishing

Year Published: 2020

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

ISBN-10; 1098323483 ISBN-13; 978-1098323486

Genre

DRAMA, SUSPENSE

Brief

Abby falls in love with the recently divorced Brad and does everything she can to join his family, speeding up their wedding. She gets what she wants until her sister shows up to reveal Abby's dark past and warn Brad's family of the risks they are taking.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes, it's accurate, but the author could include more characters, like Matt and Lauren.

Draw of Story

It looks like a typical family story, which starts at a lunch where the son will introduce his new girlfriend to the whole family. It is a beginning that already shows the style of this family and Abby's first reactions.

Possible Drawbacks

Like that of Brad's sisters, some parallel stories are not as interesting as the central one. I understand that the author wants to give a breath to the central plot, but these stories end up taking the suspense out of the main narrative.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is this determined woman does everything to hide her criminal past and approach the next victim.

Fanbase Potential

Abby is the antagonist and also the protagonist, making her less likable because her reasons are not understandable, not noble. This fact can make it difficult to reach a large audience. It is challenging to watch a movie in which you entirely hate the protagonist.

Awards Potential

While the antagonistic protagonist may repel the audience, this tricky criminal's story may attract film critics' attention. She is a complex woman who likes Brad and her daughter but fancies herself a lot more and saves no effort to succeed.

Envisioned Budget

LOW BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

I CARE A LOT: AN ELDERLY CAREGIVER USES HER JOB TO STEAL HER CLIENTS' MONEY. THE HUSTLE: TWO WOMEN WHO SPECIALIZE IN HITTING RICH MEN COME TOGETHER TO TRICK A BILLIONAIRE.

What’s New About the Story

Having a criminal main character, full of flaws and ready to trick the next victim brings some uniqueness to the plot. However, to make the narrative richer, we could better understand Abby's motives for committing these offenses and thus have a little more empathy for her.

Lead Characters

Brad is an ordinary guy who's just trying to have a love life that works. Newly divorced, he falls in love with Abby and is easily deceived by her. We empathize with Brad for trusting people and trying to do the right thing. Brad's family nucleus, on the other hand, functions as a unique character who acts as a force against Abby. They mistrust her and turn into an additional obstacle for Abby.

Uniqueness of Story

It is not a rare gem, but it is interesting to see a female character in love but still focused on her criminal career.

Possible Formats

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

The book is well written, the sequence of events makes sense for Abby's actions, but the character doesn't get our empathy at all. Since the beginning of the story, the audience knows that Abby is a liar and deceives Brad. Her subsequent actions only make us like her less and less. She would serve well as an antagonist, but such a protagonism is given to her that does not match. We do not understand why Abby drives these crimes nor forgive her for that, so the central character's lack of empathy gains a dangerous weight here. It is common to see protagonists full of flaws, some even criminals, as in the case of Walter White (Breaking Bad). Still, plausible reasons accompany these actions to make us understand at least why that person reached that wrongful position. She is a criminal, a liar, who threatens anyone who crosses her path, and capable of leaving her daughter behind to live life. It is almost uncomfortable to follow this narrative because of this main character. Ambiguity is suitable for a main character, a balance of good and evil, but when that main character inclines much more on the negative side, our empathy is lost. Having a woman stealing money from men is also a cliché in the cinema, which could be avoided or improved with more complex features, other than "I need to marry, have children, and take him away from his family." Side stories could be reduced drastically. Knowing more about the family's lifestyle is relevant, as the family works almost like an opposing gear to Abby, but going too deep into these stories takes time away from the main story, the one that really matters.