Ursula Van Rensin’s Haunting Colorado Springs

Book Cover

DRAMA MYSTERY HORROR YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE OTHER

1980s & '90s

Luke M. Bartojay

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Logline

Tales of terror that take place “pre-cell phone” in Colorado Springs Colorado. Not really ‘blood and guts’ but you can tell something’s wrong.

Genre

Drama,Mystery,Horror,Young Adult,Suspense/Thriller,Romance,Other

Short Summary

5 TALES OF TERROR: “Ursula Van Rensin’s Haunting Colorado Springs" Most of the stories are around 20 pages each. The tales include “Dawn Mourning and the Burnt One” a tale of love beyond the grave and; "Otto and the Storm Riders” Oct. 29th is a date never forgotten by a cursed and tormented barte


Differing forms of cliffhangers

Setting

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Internal Journey/Rebirth,Tragedy,Other

Plot - Other Elements

Twist,Other

Mature Audience Themes

Substance Abuse

Main Character Details

Name: Dawn Mourning

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Aspiring,Clumsy,Complex,Engaging,Educated,Insecure,Underdog,Romantic,Lone Wolf

Additional Character Details

Name: Otto

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Complex,Criminal,Insecure,Leader,Romantic,Secretive,Lone Wolf

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

5 TALES OF TERROR: “Ursula Van Rensin’s Haunting Colorado Springs" Most of the stories are around 20 pages each. The tales include “Dawn Mourning and the Burnt One” a tale of love beyond the grave and; "Otto and the Storm Riders” Oct. 29th is a date never forgotten by a cursed and tormented bartender.

About The Author

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Smashwords

Year Published: 2012

Hard Copy Available

No

ISBN

Information not completed

Genre

THRILLER

Brief

In five horror stories set in Colorado Springs, the dead come back to terrorize the living.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes, it is accurate.

Draw of Story

All the tales are centered on chilling the-dead-come-to-life narratives.

Possible Drawbacks

The narratives feel somewhat nonsensical and end in a strange manner.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

A set of different horror stories that take its terror from very solid figures and from life itself.

Fanbase Potential

If adapted into a miniseries, with every chapter representing one short story, it could be an attractive product to audiences.

Awards Potential

Not really, it is not deep enough nor seems like the kind of material that gets Awards.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

GOOSEBUMPS - A SERIES BASED ON A FAMOUS COLLECTION OF BOOKS WITH ONE NEW SPINE-CHILLING TALE AT EVERY EPISODE. CREEPSHOW - A MOVIE COMPRISED OF DIFFERENT HORROR TALES, SOME OF THEM TAKEN FROM THE WORK OF STEPHEN KING.

What’s New About the Story

It is not based on cheap scare, but on building a consistent horror atmosphere. However, the stories should be better built in order for it to work as an adaptation.

Lead Characters

They are all common people that end up gaining extraordinary powers after they die.

Uniqueness of Story

Not really. The stories should have more connections between them and within themselves so that the book would become more unique.

Possible Formats

TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

First of all, there would need to be extensive rewrites and revisions to the material. As it is now, I can hardly envision it becoming a successful adaptation to the screen. Since the book seems to be more suitable for a TV series adaptation, each one of the stories needs better planning, with a more concrete arc for the main characters. Some of the resolutions and characters' actions seem to come out of nowhere. In fact, for them to actually work, they should be founded on what had been developed until that point. And, even though some of the stories are successful in developing a horror atmosphere, with a clear sense of dread, in an adaptation they should invest more on making the audience scared and uncertain. Therefore, having a better definition of the narratives and adding more layers of horror and complexity would turn it into a much better and more horrifying material for the public.