Nightmare From Home
Logline
In a quaint little town, four young adolescent girls growing up together form a special bond of friendship as they share their early life's experiences together. They are more like sisters than friends. They belonged to a local girls' club known as The Little Angels Club.
Genre
Mystery
Short Summary
For many years they enjoyed taking part in various recreational activities such as hiking, swimming, crafting and more. The laughter they share and being there for each other is a gift of love. Now that they were teenagers, it was time to say goodbye to the girls' club.
What was going to be the best weekend ever of their summer turns out to be their worst nightmare of their life.
Setting
Information not completed
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Susie, Jenny, Liz and Ann
Age: 13 years
Gender: Female
Role: Logical
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Educated,Funny
Additional Character Details
Name: Mrs. Blanche and Ms. Cavern
Age: 40 and 30 years old approx.
Gender: Female
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Leader
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Development Pitch
Fun loving girls growing up in a small town enjoying their lives together with a special bond of friendship they felt like true sisters, not just friends. They shared laughs together and helped each other all the time. The group of four belonged to a girls club in their town and were now facing having to leave the club because of their age. The club called The Little Angels Club was for girls ages 7 to 13. Now that Susie, Jenny, Liz and Ann were turning 14, it was time for them to say goodbye to the club for girls. They were feeling old because they could not continue with the club, where they had so much fun and learned so much too, like how to swim, making crafts and even helping out many people in the town. What was going to be the best weekend ever of their summer turns out to be their worst nightmare of their life.
Genre
DRAMA
Brief
A group of teenage friends decide to go out camping as a last trip together. After some days of exhilarating fun, one of them mysteriously disappears to never be found again.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
It does, but the author describes all the main characters in the space reserved for just one.
Draw of Story
The story about teenage girls who are best friends taking a last trip together.
Possible Drawbacks
The writing is excessively explanatory and repetitive. It should be written in a way that is understandable but also trusting the reader's capabilities.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The friendship between the main characters.
Fanbase Potential
Based on the friendship between the main characters, it could, but the drama and their relationship would have to be further developed.
Awards Potential
Not really, the story is too simple and doesn't seem to have appeal for Awards.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
STAND BY ME - FOUR TEENAGE FRIENDS GO OUT ON A TRIP WHERE THEIR FRIENDSHIP WILL BE TESTED AND CHANGE FOREVER. SEARCHING - A FATHER BEGINS A DESPERATE SEARCH ON THE INTERNET AFTER HIS DAUGHTER MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARS.
What’s New About the Story
Such a positively built story ending up in a tragic note. However, the dramatic situation could be better developed.
Lead Characters
She is an adventurous and very friendly girl, who strongly values her relationship with her group of friends.
Uniqueness of Story
Not really. The story and the characters could be made more complex, as well as the writing.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
First of all, the writing is too repetitive and it tries to explain everything too much. Some extensive revisions could make it more fluid, compelling and interesting to read. The overall narrative is also somewhat uneven. Most of it is filled with intensively happy moments of fun and beauty, but without real conflicts or any advancement for the characters. The twist happens too late in the story and it feels a bit rushed. So, there would need to be crucial changes to the structure and the narrative itself for the adaptation to be successful. Furthermore, it seems the book lacks a deeper exploration of these characters. Even though they are presented to us in a very didactical manner right at the beginning, it seems the things that happen in the story don't affect or enhance their personalities in any way. Therefore, in an adaptation it would be crucial to establish a closer connection between the actions and the characters themselves, making sure that both aspects affect each other in a thrilling and credible manner.