DRAMA

Adam and Sarah are two teenagers with ordinary lives, insecurities, and hopes for a more satisfying life. Both live their lives in parallel, face the very conflicts that life has brought them, and in the end, meet for a date full of hope.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

It is an accurate profile.

The ordinary life both teenagers live. This type of narrative has the power to connect the audience and make us recall the teenage years genuinely and interestingly.

The plot of Kensi and Sandra is so overused that it ends up eroding the reader's experience a little. Everything in Sandra's life revolves around Kensi's accident and recovery, which weakens Sandra's narrative line.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that hope of teenagers that persists even in exhausting moments. Even devastated by his father's abandonment, Adam finds the strength to find him and forgive him. In addition, Sandra continues to hope that Kensi will be able to recover, despite her serious condition.

The characters are able to attract an audience by the identification they can cause with people of similar age or by the nostalgia of older people. However, to attract a larger audience, the narrative would need a little more impact and perhaps an earlier encounter between the protagonists.

The book has the potential to explore adolescent insecurities in-depth, but it does so in a timid way. The two stories in parallel do not have a strong dramatic impact or have any connection, so they both end up weakening themselves. If the two characters lived in the same "universe" within the same narrative line, the story would gain more strength and potential for awards.

LOW BUDGET

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER: CHARLIE, A 15-YEAR-OLD INTROVERTED BOY, EXPERIENCES THE ANXIETIES OF ENTERING HIGH SCHOOL. THE ART OF GETTING BY: GEORGE IS AN INTROVERTED AND LONELY BOY WHO FINDS MOTIVATION WHEN HE MEETS SALLY.

Having two stories with two different protagonists is somehow original for this type of narrative. However, it ends up weakening the power of both.

Adam looks more complex than Sandra. Despite having an inferiority complex due to her sister Anna and suffering from the accident of her best friend Kensi, the girl ends up not showing much beyond these two lines of conflict. On the other hand, Adam is a shy boy who experiences anxiety and panic attacks linked to the abandonment suffered by his father and his status of caregiver, which makes him more responsible than his age demands. He reacts and acts in a more refined way and ends up having a more interesting narrative.

It is not a rare gem as it is. We have two stories at hand that end up weakening because we keep jumping from one to the other all the time, and they don't connect until the very end. If both characters could live in the same narrative line, the drama would be intensified.

Film: Indie TV Series: Limited Run / Mini-Series

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Sandra and Adam are two powerful protagonists. Sandra is persistent in helping her best friend recover, and Adam struggles to overcome his anxieties and understand his traumas. However, when we place them in parallel narratives within the story and only present them in the last few minutes, the weight of both narrative lines decreases. Why not bring them together earlier? That way, we could see how that relationship would grow and how they could also face their conflicts together. Sandra's story could have a little more ups and downs. Kensi seems to be her entire universe. In addition to the subplot of feeling inferior because of her sister's beauty, the main story revolves entirely around Kensi. Although it is an excellent way to show the girl persevering, it would be interesting to see her beyond that friendship. Adam is more complex, more refined, has more layers of personality, and for that reason, he could, in fact, be the protagonist if the two stories collide into a narrative line for the adaptation. The traumas and the early blossoming of adulthood make Adam's tale much more engaging than Sandra's. The secondary characters seem to serve only as interlocutors to the protagonists. They are always there so that the protagonists can speak and we can understand what is going on with them. The secondaries could also have more impactful roles. The meeting of Sandra and Adam at the end seems quite organic, natural, but as we have been waiting for this meeting since the beginning of the book, it takes so long, and the awaited moment lasts only a few minutes. It definitely can be a little frustrating. The author has good ideas and characters. She would only need to structure the story in a more impactful way.