THRILLER, DRAMA

Five old friends reunite on the Mackinac Island where they met working the summers at the area's premiere resort hotel. Old flings are rekindled and the friends enjoy catching up until one of them dies. More bodies start piling up and the crew must help the police solve the case to save one another.

GOOD

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: EXCELLENT

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: EXCELLENT

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

The development pitch repeats the logline which could be improved with adding new information instead. The logline and short summary function well for their respective sections.

The vacation goes on for a while without an inkling of what is in store. The slow pacing that quickly unravels from common food poisoning to murder is when the narrative really picks up interest.

There are many scenes that revolve around eating. Much of the characters' days and conversations and when they exit or enter a scene are centered around food. By giving the characters other activities to congregate with and motivations to leave a conversation with, this repetition could be lessened.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that this seems to be a elderly reunion story set up for a rom-com style pacing when the murder of Harper, one of the people in a new relationship pops up and slowly turns into an unknown serial killer being on the loose.

This could potentially have a huge fanbase for the elderly vacation reunion murder concept. As was mentioned there is a large market of elderly viewers and this similar cast creates representation and therefore more business.

Depending on how the characters are portrayed and if they are given internal conflicts, this could have awards potential as most actors that are still in show business and elderly are usually still in the industry because they are acclaimed. Because elderly actors would need to portray the elderly people, these esteemed people would likely gain more recognition for their role because they are esteemed already.

MEDIUM BUDGET

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL, KNIVES OUT, A WALK IN THE WOODS, AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

The originality stems from the surprise murder and then murder spree and hidden missing persons dark past of the reunion. By focusing less of the vacation and more on the investigation while still making use of the location, the switch in tone will feel more authentic and quicken the pace.

Ginger is tough, forward thinking and has gumption. Riley was vindictive, but also clever and finds redemption in her recovery.

The concept is great, the main characters are somewhat static. The pacing is a bit drawn out in the investigation as there is little tension within the group with someone as a suspect.

Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, Film - Indie

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

By giving each of the characters unique voices, the characters could be more dynamic. At the present they are distinguished by their job and relationship status, but their actual dialogue is very similar. Having unique voices tied to unique internal conflicts will help create emotional investment in the characters surviving and solving the murders.