Mortal Critters

Book Cover

ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY CRIME DETECTIVE DRAMA EPIC EROTICA FAMILY FANTASY MYSTERY POLITICAL RELIGIOUS GOTHIC HORROR LGBT FUNNY SCI-FI WAR HISTORICAL FICTION YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE

17th Century or Earlier

Kevin James Donoghue

  • -
  • Views

Logline

A dark epic fantasy set in a broken world of plots, high treason, intrigue, murder, war, and witchcraft. The Hundreds Year War rages across the Great Empire as Templar's, Witches, Inquisitors, Wizards, Kings, and Murderers clash and plot intrigues. Historical figures Elisabeth, Edward2, Templars

Genre

Action,Adventure,Comedy,Crime,Detective,Drama,Epic,Erotica,Family,Fantasy,Mystery,Political,Religious,Gothic,Horror,LGBT,Funny,Sci-fi,War,Historical Fiction,Young Adult,Suspense/Thriller,Romance

Short Summary

Hero spies for Great Empire ~ Is a great literary mind, Mother bullies him, Father disinherits him, Lover is a witch. New Cultural Laws, Inquisition & sadistic Witch-Finder General. Hunt for Templar treasure, fight for liberty, struggle for equality.


Book 1 ~ Hero enlisted by Ed 2, Antagonist escapes China, Mentor disappears,Lover is killed by Witch Finder General. Book 2 ~ Black Death Book 3 ~ Fire of London

Setting

London & Northern England

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rags to Riches,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Voyage and Return,Tragedy

Plot - Other Elements

Coming of Age,Meaningful Message,Philosophical Questions,Twist

Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence,Nudity

Main Character Details

Name: Sir Thomas Deveroux

Age: 25-28

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Empathetic,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Insecure,Naive,Modest,Sexy,Patriotic,Selfless,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated

Additional Character Details

Name: Robyn Nudd

Age: 23

Gender: Lgbt

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Aggressive,Clumsy,Complex,Criminal,Engaging,Flexible,Underdog,Villainous,Sexy,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Unapologetic,Lone Wolf

Additional Character Details

Name: Dr John Dee

Age: 50

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Confident,Crazy,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Flexible,Gracious,Educated,Narcisstic,Patriotic,Power Hungry,Skillful,Funny,Visionary,Sarcastic,Secretive,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code

Additional Character Details

Name: Lud The Black

Age: 28-35

Gender: Male

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Charming,Criminal,Decisive,Complex,Desperate,Greedy,Heroic,Heartthrob,Educated,Leader,Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Sexy,Blunt,Power Hungry,Seductive,Secretive,Manipulative,Lone Wolf

Development Pitch

* Adventure, Master Murder Treasure hunt. Lots of sex and violence but also intellectually challenging with the Steam Punk / Merlinesque magic effects. * Includes many aspects of magic, mystery, intrigue, violence love, sex, drink, and some drugs. * There are twelve main characters who are all maladjusted and get into appalling situations. * The plot is sprinkled with historical characters like Templars, Elisabeth I, Edwards 2 [ and the poker ], Yorick, John Dee, Kit Marlowe, William Marshall, Lud The Black, Empress Wu, etc, etc. * All mashed up into one timeline. * Characters experience a coming of age experience, Importance of friends, and how to overcome hardship. * Liberté, égalité, fraternité, The book would be performed in a number of series like GOT or Deadwood or possible film franchise which would include gritty realism and special magical effects like A Discovery of Witches or American Gods

About The Author

Author and Artist. Born in Warwick, England, of Irish descent he was brought up in Canada, before living in Seattle, USA. He returned to Sheffield, Yorkshire before commencing secondary school. A former Record Producer, Record Company owner, Artist Manager, and Senior Lecturer he currently lives in Scarborough on the east coast of the UK, where his time is divided between writing and painting. ‘I studied at Cambridge where I was valedictorian, gaining a 1st in Cycling Proficiency. The certificate is proudly displayed upon my wall.’

Target Audiences

Age: 13-17,18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Native Publishing [ My company]

Year Published: April 2021

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

eBook 978-1-911152-11-8 / paperback 978-1-911152-12-5 / Hardback 978-1-911152-13-2

Genre

DRAMA, RELIGION, FANTASY

Brief

In a distant world, monarchies and magic rule the land. A young boy is born with the mark of evil that will fulfill a prophecy. A murder occurs and Sir Thomas tries to find the culprit. Something dark is stirring in the land.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

FIRST PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

The book profile gives an overview of the world but does not touch on the plot of the story. It needs to reference events of the story and the characters to reflect the book.

Draw of Story

The story start very slowly. It introduces characters, giving many unnecessary details. The plot takes a long time to reveal itself and even then it is not clear.

Possible Drawbacks

This book is filled with unnecessary information. The goal might have been world building but the excessive explanations drag on and make it hard to decipher the plot. The characters are not clear cut, each chapter blending into the next one with little distinction.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that terrible events are occurring as a young boy tries to rid himself of an evil prophecy.

Fanbase Potential

This would not have a large fanbase. It is trying to be an epic adventure story with deep world building but it does not deliver. It did not feel like another world where magic presides. The story is too complicated for its own good. It would attract the fantasy audience but be compared to many other stories of the same genre that really transport the audience into another world.

Awards Potential

This does not have awards potential. It is lacking in creativity and distinction. There are so many characters with not enough time taken to develop any of them. This story is more plot driven.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

MERLIN, PILLARS OF THE EARTH

What’s New About the Story

The story tries to be original but needs to focus on the unique parts of the story and world it is trying to create and develop them.

Lead Characters

The lead characters do not stand out. The lead characters stories bleed into each other and they don't have very distinguishing characteristics.

Uniqueness of Story

This is an average story. It needs to be reworked and refocused on the plot. The characters do not work towards the plot. There is also a large amount of unnecessary dialogue and descriptions that do not aid in telling the story.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

To change this grade to a recommend, the plot needs to be clearer and the characters distinct. The world needs to be determined clearly, drawing the audience in to the story.