ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY CRIME DETECTIVE DRAMA EPIC EROTICA FAMILY FANTASY MYSTERY POLITICAL RELIGIOUS GOTHIC HORROR LGBT FUNNY SCI-FI WAR HISTORICAL FICTION YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE
17th Century or Earlier
Kevin James Donoghue
A dark epic fantasy set in a broken world of plots, high treason, intrigue, murder, war, and witchcraft. The Hundreds Year War rages across the Great Empire as Templar's, Witches, Inquisitors, Wizards, Kings, and Murderers clash and plot intrigues. Historical figures Elisabeth, Edward2, Templars
Action,Adventure,Comedy,Crime,Detective,Drama,Epic,Erotica,Family,Fantasy,Mystery,Political,Religious,Gothic,Horror,LGBT,Funny,Sci-fi,War,Historical Fiction,Young Adult,Suspense/Thriller,Romance
Hero spies for Great Empire ~ Is a great literary mind, Mother bullies him, Father disinherits him, Lover is a witch. New Cultural Laws, Inquisition & sadistic Witch-Finder General. Hunt for Templar treasure, fight for liberty, struggle for equality.
Book 1 ~ Hero enlisted by Ed 2, Antagonist escapes China, Mentor disappears,Lover is killed by Witch Finder General. Book 2 ~ Black Death Book 3 ~ Fire of London
London & Northern England
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rags to Riches,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Voyage and Return,Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Meaningful Message,Philosophical Questions,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Main Character Details
Name: Sir Thomas Deveroux
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Empathetic,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Insecure,Naive,Modest,Sexy,Patriotic,Selfless,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated
Additional Character Details
Name: Robyn Nudd
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Aggressive,Clumsy,Complex,Criminal,Engaging,Flexible,Underdog,Villainous,Sexy,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Unapologetic,Lone Wolf
Additional Character Details
Name: Dr John Dee
Key Traits: Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Confident,Crazy,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Flexible,Gracious,Educated,Narcisstic,Patriotic,Power Hungry,Skillful,Funny,Visionary,Sarcastic,Secretive,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Lud The Black
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Charming,Criminal,Decisive,Complex,Desperate,Greedy,Heroic,Heartthrob,Educated,Leader,Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Sexy,Blunt,Power Hungry,Seductive,Secretive,Manipulative,Lone Wolf
* Adventure, Master Murder Treasure hunt. Lots of sex and violence but also intellectually challenging with the Steam Punk / Merlinesque magic effects. * Includes many aspects of magic, mystery, intrigue, violence love, sex, drink, and some drugs. * There are twelve main characters who are all maladjusted and get into appalling situations. * The plot is sprinkled with historical characters like Templars, Elisabeth I, Edwards 2 [ and the poker ], Yorick, John Dee, Kit Marlowe, William Marshall, Lud The Black, Empress Wu, etc, etc. * All mashed up into one timeline. * Characters experience a coming of age experience, Importance of friends, and how to overcome hardship. * Liberté, égalité, fraternité, The book would be performed in a number of series like GOT or Deadwood or possible film franchise which would include gritty realism and special magical effects like A Discovery of Witches or American Gods
DRAMA, RELIGION, FANTASY
In a distant world, monarchies and magic rule the land. A young boy is born with the mark of evil that will fulfill a prophecy. A murder occurs and Sir Thomas tries to find the culprit. Something dark is stirring in the land.
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile gives an overview of the world but does not touch on the plot of the story. It needs to reference events of the story and the characters to reflect the book.
Draw of Story
The story start very slowly. It introduces characters, giving many unnecessary details. The plot takes a long time to reveal itself and even then it is not clear.
This book is filled with unnecessary information. The goal might have been world building but the excessive explanations drag on and make it hard to decipher the plot. The characters are not clear cut, each chapter blending into the next one with little distinction.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that terrible events are occurring as a young boy tries to rid himself of an evil prophecy.
This would not have a large fanbase. It is trying to be an epic adventure story with deep world building but it does not deliver. It did not feel like another world where magic presides. The story is too complicated for its own good. It would attract the fantasy audience but be compared to many other stories of the same genre that really transport the audience into another world.
This does not have awards potential. It is lacking in creativity and distinction. There are so many characters with not enough time taken to develop any of them. This story is more plot driven.
Similar Films/TV Series
MERLIN, PILLARS OF THE EARTH
What’s New About the Story
The story tries to be original but needs to focus on the unique parts of the story and world it is trying to create and develop them.
The lead characters do not stand out. The lead characters stories bleed into each other and they don't have very distinguishing characteristics.
Uniqueness of Story
This is an average story. It needs to be reworked and refocused on the plot. The characters do not work towards the plot. There is also a large amount of unnecessary dialogue and descriptions that do not aid in telling the story.
Film - Studio, Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
To change this grade to a recommend, the plot needs to be clearer and the characters distinct. The world needs to be determined clearly, drawing the audience in to the story.