The Bewitching Hour

KAY Williamson donkay66@aol.com 1290519019579

SCI-FI SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE

20th Century (multiple decades)

Kay Williamson

Logline

18 year old Ann plans to run away with her lover at midnight (the bewitching hour), but witnesses his murder. Ann’s mind can’t handle the shock, so she's reliving the day and evening of the murder up until the murder takes place. Now 58 years old, her appearance remains that of an 18 year old.

Genre

Sci-fi,Suspense/Thriller,Romance

Short Summary

Dr. Elena Conners, a well-respected psychiatrist, has come to the Island where the murder took place forty years ago and has been working with Ann. She has asked another psychiatrist, Dr. Phillip Dodson, to assist her in trying to bring her patient back to reality.


The re-enactment of Ann's lover's murder has shocked her back into reality. With the help of the two psychiatrists, she has gradually begun to age to a 58 year old woman. In the meantime, the psychiatrists have fallen in love and make love at the bewitching hour by the shimmering sea.

Setting

small Pacific Island of Timumu

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Quest,Other

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending,Other

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Ann Franklin

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Role: Emotional

Key Traits: Complex,Desperate

Additional Character Details

Name: Dr. Elena Conners

Age: 40

Gender: Female

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Educated,Romantic

Additional Character Details

Name: Dr. Phillip Dodson

Age: 44

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Educated,Romantic

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

The intriguing idea in this short story, about an 18 year old woman who witnesses her lover's murder and is shocked into time standing still for her, could be developed into a full length movie because of the interesting topics explored from the metaphysical and science and the human elements of love and romance.

About The Author

Kay Williamson (Letters, Music, and Art) is a former elementary teacher who turned to writing murder mystery novels with a touch of romantic suspense. They include Ghostly Whispers, Bridge to Nowhere, Listen to the Heart, Time After Time, Murder at the Starlight Pavilion, The Mysterious Woman on the Train, Incident at the Pink Beach House, Murder on Star Route 1,Murder in the Mountains and Murder at the Reginal Hospital. Kay is an award-winning artist as is her husband Don, who illustrated the covers of 5 of her books. Kay is also a musician, composer, and playwright who has produced numerous CDs. Her romantic musical comedy What’s Going on at the Mansion? was produced in Iron Mountain, MI. Kay’s books are available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble online. Visit her web site at www.kaywilliamson.com

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Metaphysical and Science

Publishing Details

Hard Copy Available

No

WGA Number

Information not completed

Genre

DRAMA, SUSPENSE, ROMANCE

Brief

Ann is the daughter of a rigorous father, and when she falls in love and decides to run away with her boyfriend, her father murders him in front of her. Ann goes into shock and starts reliving the night of crime every day. As Ann gets stuck that day, her mind makes it impossible for her to grow old. She is 58 years old now but still looking 18, and two psychiatrists will try a shock method to bring her back to reality.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

It does, but I'd add Ann's father as the antagonist.

Draw of Story

Ann's story is quite interesting. A person who does not age because she is stuck on a traumatic day.

Possible Drawbacks

The psychiatrists' scenes are a little tiring. They sound unprofessional, and the dialogues are highly expository. There is a moment when Dr. Elena says there is a study on a case similar to Ann's, but she has never read it. Elena has been investigating the case for a long time, but she never read a singular study on a similar subject. It seems to me that their attitudes and speeches don't match their positions.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is Ann being stuck on one traumatic day. She wakes up every day believing she is reliving the same day. She seems trapped inside her own mind.

Fanbase Potential

Ann's plot has the potential to attract an audience for its originality. However, since the story's point of view is that of psychiatrists, the plot loses its force.

Awards Potential

If the story focuses on the personal drama of being trapped within Ann's own trauma, I believe so. It has the potential to be emotional and touching.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

GROUNDHOG DAY: A JOURNALIST IS STUCK ON THE SAME DAY UNTIL HE MANAGES TO LEARN A LESSON AND GET OUT OF THERE. THE AGE OF ADALINE: A WOMAN DOES NOT AGE AND APPEARS TO BE 29 YEARS OLD FOREVER, MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO CREATE EMOTIONAL BONDS.

What’s New About the Story

Ann hasn't aged in 40 years and has relived the same day mentally ever since. It sounds original and entertaining.

Lead Characters

As this is more of a treatment than a finished draft, we can't understand much about the characters. However, research on this topic could make those psychiatrists sound more solid and professional. In addition, including more of Ann's point of view would make us understand and see her internal conflicts.

Uniqueness of Story

It's not a rare gem, but it has good ideas. Combining the plot of the person stuck on a day with that of the woman who does not age brings a more original look to both plots.

Possible Formats

Film: Streaming, Indie

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

The point of view is exclusive of two psychiatrists, which diminishes all of Ann's drama. We see Ann's trauma through the eyes of two researchers and not through the eyes of the victim herself. This choice distances us from Ann's story and diminishes the story's inner emotions and conflicts. I know Ann is in an almost vegetative state, but a small change in her perception, making her more aware of reality while waking up every day on the same day, would bring a more touching atmosphere to the plot. The psychiatrists also need development. They say clichéd sentences and sound like someone who doesn't quite understand the human mind. A little research on the subject could make the dialogues more "scientific" and more believable. Ann's character would also need more development and a more straightforward, evident arc. She ends up being very passive throughout the whole story, and that's negative for her as a protagonist. We know she suffered from her abusive father, which already makes her figure more sympathetic, but beyond that, we don't know much about her, especially about her feelings. She suffered an intense trauma, has been stuck on the same day ever since, and hasn't aged in 40 years. All of this can generate powerful internal conflicts in the protagonist, but as we don't have her point of view, we don't know how she feels, what she thinks, and all the drama ends up being left out. The ideas are good, but it would be necessary to explore further the conflicts that this narrative can create.

Logline

18 year old Ann plans to run away with her lover at midnight (the bewitching hour), but witnesses his murder. Ann’s mind can’t handle the shock, so she's reliving the day and evening of the murder up until the murder takes place. Now 58 years old, her appearance remains that of an 18 year old.

Short Summary

Dr. Elena Conners, a well-respected psychiatrist, has come to the Island where the murder took place forty years ago and has been working with Ann. She has asked another psychiatrist, Dr. Phillip Dodson, to assist her in trying to bring her patient back to reality.


The re-enactment of Ann's lover's murder has shocked her back into reality. With the help of the two psychiatrists, she has gradually begun to age to a 58 year old woman. In the meantime, the psychiatrists have fallen in love and make love at the bewitching hour by the shimmering sea.

FEEDBACK

The intriguing idea in this short story, about an 18 year old woman who witnesses her lover's murder and is shocked into time standing still for her, could be developed into a full length movie because of the interesting topics explored from the metaphysical and science and the human elements of love and romance.

About The Author

Kay Williamson (Letters, Music, and Art) is a former elementary teacher who turned to writing murder mystery novels with a touch of romantic suspense. They include Ghostly Whispers, Bridge to Nowhere, Listen to the Heart, Time After Time, Murder at the Starlight Pavilion, The Mysterious Woman on the Train, Incident at the Pink Beach House, Murder on Star Route 1,Murder in the Mountains and Murder at the Reginal Hospital. Kay is an award-winning artist as is her husband Don, who illustrated the covers of 5 of her books. Kay is also a musician, composer, and playwright who has produced numerous CDs. Her romantic musical comedy What’s Going on at the Mansion? was produced in Iron Mountain, MI. Kay’s books are available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble online. Visit her web site at www.kaywilliamson.com

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Characters

Main Character

Name: Ann Franklin

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Role: Emotional

Key Traits: Complex,Desperate

Character 1

Name: Dr. Elena Conners

Age: 40

Gender: Female

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Educated,Romantic

Character 2

Name: Dr. Phillip Dodson

Age: 44

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Educated,Romantic