FANTASY MYSTERY ROMANCE SUSPENSE/THRILLER SCI-FI EPIC DRAMA
The Unwilling series is a Romeo and Juliet meets Alien story. The paranormal elements are grounded in the Māori mythology and creation story, but its characters aren't your average shifter or vampire. The heart of each character's development is the internal struggle of man vs beast.
Neely McIntire’s dreams warn her about the future but will not protect her from the danger hiding in plain sight. On graduation night, she plans to tell her best friend, Hayden Nelson, that she's in love with him. Instead, they argue. Neely's hurt feelings leave her vulnerable.
This gives her secret admirer, Andrew Huckley, the opportunity to put his mother’s monstrous plan in motion. When Neely gives into her broken heart, Hayden knows he must fight to recapture the spark he felt in their last kiss. Will he find her in time or will she be changed forever?
Mississippi, USA, New Zealand, Gulf Shores, AL, New York, New York.
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth,Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Twist,Coming of Age,Happy Ending,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Main Character Details
Name: Neely Marae McIntire
Key Traits: Heroic,Honorable,Sexy,Selfless,Outspoken,Funny,Romantic,Strong Moral Code,Complex
Additional Character Details
Name: Andrew Huckley
Key Traits: Heartthrob,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated,Sexy,Obedient,Villainous,Masculine,Charming,Complex,Desperate,Engaging,Heroic,Romantic
Additional Character Details
Name: Hayden Nelson
Key Traits: Aggressive,Sexy,Masculine,Complex,Heartthrob,Heroic,Insecure,Lone Wolf,Sarcastic,Romantic,Outspoken,Blunt,Charming,Manipulative,Narcisstic
Additional Character Details
Name: Margarette Huckley
Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Criminal,Greedy,Desperate,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Sophisticated,Seductive,Sarcastic,Secretive,Skillful,Power Hungry,Blunt,Sexy,Narcisstic,Villainous,Complex,Decisive,Educated
The Unwilling series is a unique combination of a new adult love story wrapped in a beautiful package of Science Fiction and Mythology. Each paranormal element and premise is part of a newly formed combination, which before now, has been largely undiscovered by fans of both genres. There isn’t another story that does a better job of walking that fine line of Suspense, Sci-Fi, Romance, and Mystery. All while blending each part into a flawless coming of age trilogy where any reader can get lost. Audiences are guaranteed complete escapism on a heart-in-your- throat, breath-stealing wild ride from start to finish. Looking away from each character’s journey is impossible because the need to find out all the answers to Neely’s story is too strong. Spanning two continents, this series also perfectly melds elements of the current struggles of the Māori culture, and the old wounds of racism in the south, into a story that speaks to both past pain and a new hope for our generation. Neely’s three book arc takes her through multiple experiences of love, loss, pain, renewal, grief, healing, and emotional growth. She reaches the end of her journey a stronger woman and a healthy partner who is ready for true and honest love, bruises and all. Readers are left with the sensation that she’s been broken apart and perfectly reformed into the ultimate heroine by the end of the series.
Neely and Hayden are in love. Hayden searches for Neely through her disappearance, discovery and amnesia when she professes her love for Andrew. Neely is not herself when she returns, getting tied up with Andrew's traditional Maori family who are using her to rebirth a monster.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does accurately reflect the book.
Draw of Story
The story gives peaks into a mysterious creature that is torturing a young girl. It piques the curiosity about who the girl is.
The book doesn't incorporate the monster element well. It is very sporadic and it isn't explained until the end.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that a young girl is chosen to be the vessel to bring back a monster for the Maori tribe. The love of her life stops at nothing to figure out what has happened to her.
This could have a large fanbase because it is a young adult story with a love story and a monster element.
I can’t see this having awards potential. The story needs to be developed more while the Maori/monster element be brought to the forefront. There is too much time spent on the relationship between Neely, Andrew and Hayden.
Similar Films/TV Series
THE CELL, THE HOST
What’s New About the Story
The story is original in that it uses Maori folklore. It is not described as detailed as it should but the story is set up for a second part where it would be.
The lead characters do not stand out. They are all normal teenagers and have relatively relatable stories.
Uniqueness of Story
This can be an above average story if developed better. There is a lot of time spent on Hayden's love for Neely. The creature torturing the young girl should be expanded. Andrew's interaction with the Maori tribe and his mother should also be expanded to better understand the stakes.
Film - Streaming, TV Series - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
The important plot points are left to the end. The suspense is lost in the first two thirds of the book. There needs to be balance and have more of the Maori story and the tribes motives expressed from the beginning.