A Heart on the River
Submision Type
book
Logline
No jingle bells nor singing reindeer in this Christmas story! Take a 3-day journey with Fred Woody, Jr. to an Atlantic City casino. He relives his personal misdeeds and pushes through many road bumps with folks he encounters, both human and other-worldly. Discover a heart or two on the river.
Genre
Satire,Political,Religious,War,Drama,Comedy
Short Summary
Winter. 2011. A soft-hearted curmudgeon deplanes in Washington, DC after a 14 hour flight from the Middle East. His only objective is to play in and win a multi-million dollar Texas Hold 'Em Poker Tournament to be held on Christmas Day. He experiences a pulmonary embolism and is felled...
Setting
Washington, D.C., Iraq, Afghanistan, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth
Plot - Other Elements
Philosophical Questions,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Fred Woody, Jr.
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Aspiring,Masculine,Complex,Patriotic,Religious,Sarcastic,Engaging,Funny,Decisive,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: SGT Luis Silva
Age: 30's
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Modest,Masculine,Patriotic,Engaging,Selfless,Empathetic,Gracious,Heroic
Additional Character Details
Name: Mr. Gold 'n' Purple
Age: 60's
Gender: Male
Role: tempter
Key Traits: Villainous,Manipulative,Seductive
Additional Character Details
Name: Sneezy
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Obedient,Blunt,Outspoken,Faithful,Empathetic,Skillful,Confident,Uneducated,Decisive
Genre
DRAMA
Brief
Fred was on his way to a poker championship. He gets waylaid by health and family issues. He struggles through the games even though he is winning big.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes, the book profile accurately reflects the book.
Draw of Story
The story did not draw me. Fred is not the most likeable character and the story takes a while to make sense.
Possible Drawbacks
The books meanders a lot, not defining the plot from the beginning. It reads like a day in the life of the character as opposed to him making his way to an event. There needs to be more direction.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
There is no hook. Fred is on his way to a poker championship. This story follows him during his days leading up to it but it's less of a journey. The audience is simply following the events of his days.
Fanbase Potential
This story reads like a indie film and would not have a large fanbase unless it gained a cult following.
Awards Potential
This could have awards potential. Fred's life is a mess and that could be great material for an actor. The plot is lacking.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BEGIN AGAIN, UNCUT GEMS
What’s New About the Story
This story is not original . It could be if the main character was from a more diverse background and was not going to a poker tournament. The messy male troupe has been done before.
Lead Characters
The lead character does not stand out. He is a very below average type of character. His life is all over the place as is the story.
Uniqueness of Story
This is not a gem. It is an average story that needs work. There needs more direction. Watching this man's messy, destructive life was not interesting and does not draw the audience in.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
This would need a complete overhaul of the first two thirds of the story. The sense that the character is trying to get somewhere is missing. It feels like he just happens to end up at the poker tournament.