Barsoap - Life Behind Bars Vol. 1
DRAMA EROTICA FUNNY OTHER ROMANCE
1980s & '90s,20th Century (multiple decades)
AJ Anthony
Logline
After learning that his father’s death may have been at the hands of a devious nightclub owner, Sean delves into the dark world of partying, corruption, and betrayal. Can he uncover the truth before his own demise? Strap in for a fun and wild ride.
Genre
Drama,Erotica,Funny,Other,Romance
Short Summary
Sean Collins receives a letter from his deceased mother, stating that he had a father he’d never met, who was killed by his business partner, Beau Garrett over 24 years ago. Using this info, he takes a bartending job at the nightclub owned by the unscrupulous Garrett, in an attempt to get justice.
After his friends, associates, and his love interest were murdered, and nearly Sean a couple of times as well, he uncovers the evidence to put Garrett behind bars.
Setting
San Francisco, CA / Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Quest,Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Coming of Age
Mature Audience Themes
Nudity,Substance Abuse, Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Sean Collins
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Modest,Charming,Sexy,Selfless,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Funny,Romantic,Heartthrob,Educated,Heroic,Seductive,Naive,Sarcastic,Confident,Adventurous
Additional Character Details
Name: Michael Walker
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Role: Sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Sexy,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Funny,Gracious,Sarcastic,Heroic,Honorable,Leader
Additional Character Details
Name: Stacy Menteri
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Role: tempter
Key Traits: Aspiring,Complex,Confident,Sexy,Criminal,Faithful,Romantic,Secretive
Additional Character Details
Name: Beau Garrett
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Villainous,Aggressive,Criminal,Power Hungry,Blunt,Greedy,Secretive,Unapologetic
Development Pitch
INSPIRATION This story is drawn upon the real-life experiences I've accumulated in 15+ years in all types of restaurants, nightclubs, and pubs. I’m compelled to share a wide variety of interesting and many times disturbing stories of bar culture. The back story and main arc of this concept are in part based upon incidents that have been incorporated and dramatized. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. WORLD The prologue is set in the '70s, but the main story takes place in the late '90s in the San Francisco Bay Area. It is a time before the dependency on cell phones and social media. It was still acceptable to smoke in public places. Having multiple sex partners was still in fashion and cocaine was the rage. MARKET The story has a lot of great elements; drama, music, romance, and partying. I feel the setting is fresh and hasn't been overdone by any means, especially from an edgy behind-the-scenes POV of the real lifestyle and its pitfalls. Although I do want the story to have a comedic tone, this is by no means a Cheers. There are great opportunities for product placement with liquor companies and other bar related products. The music and dance routines are fun and easily incorporated in whatever doses are deemed appropriate. SUMMARY I see this as a cable movie or short series, maybe half-hour segments. I hope you will see the possibilities in it and contact me. The website is: https://barsoaplbb.com. Thank you for your consideration.
Genre
SUSPENSE, ACTION, ROMANCE, DRAMA
Brief
Sean learns about his father's death from his dying mother. He enters the night life world in order to take down his father's murderer. The closer he gets to solving the mystery, the more danger he is put in as well as those around him.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: EXCELLENT
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the book profile accurately describes the story. While the logline is enticing, ideally it would be limited to one to two sentences rather than four. This helps audiences comprehend the concept in a more digestible and quicker format.
Draw of Story
The prologue set up that justice will eventually come for such a heinous act, and then the flash forward is filled with tension waiting for Sean to realize the truth both about his mother and his father's murderer. He gets so far involved in their lives before everyone realizes who each other are in the present day.
Possible Drawbacks
The pacing in getting Sean involved in Beau's world is delayed at the beginning with teh subplots of his dying mother and being fired. These could be established quicker in order to create Sean's main conflict in solving his father's murder. Those subplots do not add tension to the main conflict nor do they have lasting consequences to Sean's character development.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that the audience knows what the characters don't know such as Sean is trying to sleep with his mother and that his boss murdered his father. It allows danger to rise with a known outcome but unknown pathway to that end point. It becomes curious how far Sean will go for the truth.
Fanbase Potential
The concept itself of a male strip club as the main cast but as a mystery could definitely hold space for a large audience. The tone would be key. The pacing would need to be streamlined depending on the adaptation medium, but this could have an audience based on its fun premise and unique setting.
Awards Potential
Given the stigma of nightlife and strippers this is unlikely to win serious acting awards even though it has elements of a classic Greek tragedy. This could win popular awards depending on the adaptation medium and cast.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
NICE GUYS, MAGIC MIKE, TRAINSPOTTING, KISS KISS BANG BANG
What’s New About the Story
The stories originality stems from the setting and premise. By creating more obstacles related to solving the mystery of his mother and father rather than focusing on romances and subplots, the pacing would be faster and the tension more apparent. The women characters also all tend to be flat version of one side of the Madonna-whore complex. By giving the side characters, especially the women, more complex tasks and their own inner conflicts, they would become more dynamic and thus their deaths or deceit would carry greater emotional weight.
Lead Characters
Sean is a survivalist who is filial and generous. Stacy is independent and strong for all that she went through while she was pregnant and putting up with her eventual husband. Beau is cold-hearted and shrewd.
Uniqueness of Story
The oedipal setup as well as the murder crumbs create a good mystery but there is more focus on women relationships who are inconsequential and the night life activities at time which do not add tension to the main conflict.
Possible Formats
Film - Streaming, Film - Indie, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Adding more dynamic qualities to the side characters will create more emotional weight behind the high body count. Potentially keeping the secrets of the murder and Stacy's maternity of Sean secret longer might lead to interesting tension in hindsight and longer suspense as the plot progresses.