The Haunted Trail: A tale of two four-leaf clovers
GENRE
WAR FANTASY SCI-FI
Core Theme
GOOD VS EVIL
TIME PERIOD
Other
COMPARABLE TITLES
VAN HELSING, THE FRIGHTENERS, THE MUMMY
CHARACTER LIST
• BUTCH MCPHERSON: 10-50. LEAD. LACKS MORALS
• MUMMY: IMMORTAL. ANTAGONIST
• BLUE & GREEN ALIENS: UNK. ENEMIES
• DAVID PATRICIAN: 45. BUSINESS PARTNER
Logline
This book is a vicious Halloween war tale that has many unexpected and crazy twists. A war occurring on a distant planet light-years away between two alien species eventually finds its way to Dublin, Ireland. Forty-four years later, the bloodshed still continues to exist between these rival aliens.
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34,35-54
Target Gender: Universal,Male Leaning
Setting
Dublin, Ireland
Based on a True Story
No
Publishing Details
Status: Yes: self-published
Publisher: Self-Published
Year Published: 2020
Starting Description
This story takes place on a mysterious alien planet light-years away. Blue and green aliens reside on this dark and strange planet. The blue and green aliens are both extremely territorial. What began as a territorial dispute eventually escalated into an all-out war over a magical four-leaf clover.
Ending Description
As Egypt and Ireland both experience many casualties of war, General Butch McPherson is determined to put an end to a violent and bloody war that occurred over two magical four-leaf clovers. What Butch McPherson experiences during this task will only just be the beginning of a four-leaf clover war.
Group Specific
Information not completed
Hard Copy Available
No
ISBN
978-0-9975964-6-5
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence, Language/Profanity
Plot - Other Elements
Twist
Plot - Premise
Quest,Overcoming Monster/Villain,Tragedy
Main Character Details
Name: Butch McPherson
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Skillful,Visionary,Power Hungry,Greedy,Confident,Crazy,Complex,Aggressive,Badass,Adventurous,Masculine,Outspoken,Secretive,Strong Moral Code,Lone Wolf,Heroic,Aspiring
Additional Character Details
Name: The mummy
Age: Immortal
Gender: Other
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Villainous,Badass,Aggressive,Crazy,Power Hungry,Skillful,Unapologetic,Leader,Greedy,Desperate,Criminal,Adventurous,Clumsy
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Development Pitch
This book is an intense journey into the haunted trail's violent past. It goes back two-thousand years and reveals the complicated life of Butch McPherson. Butch McPherson's connection to the Patrician family is also revealed in this fantastic story. This crazy tale shows how two magical artifacts were found on a mysterious planet light-years away, and in Dublin, Ireland. Find out how and why both of the artifacts were discovered, and who actually discovered them. Why are these two magical artifacts so important? What kind of magic are these two rare artifacts capable of producing? Is it magic that is used for good, or is it black magic? Or are the supernatural artifacts capable of producing both good magic and black magic? The answer to this question lies in the fate of the army that can successfully possess both of these two magical artifacts first. Butch McPherson has the backing of an army of well-trained Irish soldiers on his side who are all bravely willing to defend their homeland as one-thousand Egyptian soldiers, four dangerous blue aliens, and a commanding evil mummy wage war on Ireland. Butch McPherson barricades himself in a cave as Ireland's last line of defense against the mummy's invading army. Which army has the upper hand in this Halloween war? Is it the invading army of Egyptians, or is it the Irish? Find out why Butch McPherson does the things that he does in order to protect his home country of Dublin, Ireland from an Egyptian invasion.
Genre
ACTION, WAR, FANTASY
Brief
Two races of aliens battle over a magical clover in their home planet, until they almost get extinct. The clover ends up on Earth and is found by a 6 year old child. The race of blue aliens arrives on Earth, in Egypt, where they gather an army and revive a mummy. They conquer a large part of the world until they find the clover in Dublin, Ireland, but end up killed.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes, the book profile does depict the book.
Draw of Story
The narrative that mixes many elements of folklore and pop culture, such as aliens, mummies and leprechauns.
Possible Drawbacks
The lack of depth and character development. There should be a bigger concern about characters and their actions, that sometimes don't look very cohesive.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The merge of different elements of folklore and pop culture in a story full of war, action and blood.
Fanbase Potential
If well adapted, with the necessary changes, it possibly could.
Awards Potential
Possibly some fantasy awards.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
IN TERMS OF MIXING POP CULTURE AND FOLKLORE ELEMENTS OF MANY COUNTRIES, IT REMINDED ME OF THE HARRY POTTER FRANCHISE OR THE TV SERIES SUPERNATURAL.
What’s New About the Story
The original part is the use of folklore in an imaginative way, but it should be further developed in order for the narrative to work more properly.
Lead Characters
The lead character is a courageous, sometimes dubious and unreliable person, which makes him more interesting than a usual hero protagonist.
Uniqueness of Story
Not really, because it lacks character development, and there are some narrative inconsistencies. In order for it to work, it should undergo many revisions and an overall restructuring of the story.
Possible Formats
Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
The basic ideas for the story are cool and creative, which is good, but the narrative and the writing need more development in order for it to have any appeal for the public. Therefore, it needs a full, careful revision, maintaining the elements that work for the story and rethinking the ones that feel too simplistic or absurd to work.
Brief
This book is a vicious Halloween war tale that has many unexpected and crazy twists. A war occurring on a distant planet light-years away between two alien species eventually finds its way to Dublin, Ireland. Forty-four years later, the bloodshed still continues to exist between these rival aliens.
What We Liked
- These characters run into extraterrestrial aliens in a violent search for a four-leaf clover.
- Male lead; Alien encounter; Supernatural forces.
- This is a male based lead that is trying to find his way and stumbles constantly due to his broken moral compass.
- Key points: Male lead; Could appeal to a foreign audience; Story has aliens; Sci-Fi; Contains battle scenes.
Synopsis
Butch McPherson is 50 and has had a lucky 4-leaf clover on him since he was a child. When he was only 6-years old he found himself in the outskirts of Dublin, Ireland in a situation where he had to kill his father’s shady former business partner. In the midst of this dilemma, Butch runs for his life away from the man and looks over spotting the clover. Now a grown man, Butch is part owner of a construction company that is currently finishing a project intended to be a defensive war tower to protect the land from any unknown enemies.
Little did he know, that two species of alien life forms had an all-out war over these magical clovers. Green aliens and blue aliens battled it out for the valued clovers. Long after the battles, one spaceship containing four blue aliens crashes to the Earth in the Egyptian desert. Locals spot the aircraft’s descent and investigate. The aliens perform laser surgery to implant their stolen clover into the heart of the recently deceased leader of the people. One year later to the day, on a Halloween night, the man, or rather mummy comes alive.
The resurrected Egyptian leader, after conquering much of the world’s people, hunts for another clover to increase his power. He shifts his suspicion to Dublin where he plans to invade with his Army of Egyptian soldiers. He brings along four blue aliens and will use them to search for another clover at all costs. When his ships dock an immediate slaughter begins of the local populace attending the annual Dublin Halloween Fair. Once the massacre is done focus shifts onto the new war tower that contains a series of tunnels underneath.
Butch learns of this tragedy from his business partner and they gather as many coworkers as they can to go hide in the tunnels and cave systems they have just dug. Upon arrival, they know just where to go as much of the defense structure is rigged with traps to contain enemy fighters. This works to their advantage as one blue alien after another falls through false floors into deep wells. The mummy remains laser-focused on retrieving the clover that he can now feel by instinct. He also falls victim to a trap loaded with wooden spikes, however, even unbeknownst to him he is able to muster new magic within him to turn into vapor and reappear elsewhere. The mummy kills Butch’s coworkers one by one and closes in on his goal, the clover.
An epic battle ensues between Butch and the mummy upon meeting each other. Swords are drawn and each matches the other’s ability making for a battle of a lifetime. A swift slice to Butch’s pocket allows his prized clover to fall to the ground. Out of nowhere a leprechaun runs out of a dark corner and snatches the 4-leaf clover. Under his own strength and skill Butch is able to stab straight through the mummy’s heart. Remembering what happened to the man’s soul he killed so long ago, Butch drags the mummy to the same location in hopes the devil will come to claim this evil soul. He shovels dirt onto the mummy as fast as he can and to his amazement the mummy slams a fist out of the ground. Suddenly Butch’s shovel attracts a bolt of lightning that proves fatal.