Time Of Feasting

Jerry Hoffman

Book Cover

GENRE

HORROR

    Core Theme

    POWER

    TIME PERIOD

    2000s,Contemporary

    COMPARABLE TITLES

    SANTA CLARITA DIET, DARK SHADOWS

    CHARACTER LIST

    VICTOR RENQUIST: 40S, THE MASTER OF A COLONY OF VAMPIRES FIGHTING TO KEEP THEM HIDDEN AS THEY FEED ON THE LIVING.

    CARFAX: 30S, A YOUNG UPSTART LOOKING TO FORM HIS OWN COLONY OR TAKE OVER VICTOR’S.

    GIDEON: 60S, A DRUNK DEFROCKED PRIEST ON THE TRAIL OF THE VAMPIRES WHO’S OUT TO KILL.

    CYRANA – 30S, VICTOR'S JEALOUS LOVER AND A WILDCARD.

    DAHLIA – 10, A POWERFUL, CYNICAL VAMPIRE LOYAL TO VICTOR.

    LUPO – 40S, A LARGE MAFIOSO VAMPIRE AND VICTOR'S RIGHT HAND MAN.

    Logline

    Victor Renquist, Master of a misfit vampire clan must ensure concealment and survival during the vulnerable Time of Feasting, but finds he’s running out of time as a rebellion within the clan the attention of a defrocked priest, 2 detectives, and a cult, all hell-bent on destroying them.

    Genre

    Horror

    Target Audiences

    Age: 13-17,18-34,35-54,55+

    Target Gender: Universal

    Setting

    Present day, New York.

    Based on a True Story

    No

    Starting Description

    Opens with Lupo, Victor's right-hand man, and tough guy. He meets up with a couple of mobsters finalizing a hit, in exchange for blood packs stolen from a hospital.

    Ending Description

    A final battle ensues with Victor and rebellious Carfax, only one can be Master. Dahlia, a vampire who remains as a child (2nd most powerful in the clan), steps in to finish off Carfax. They tie up loose ends with a detective and defrocked priest before moving to LA.

    Group Specific

    The author has not yet written this

    Pitch Adaptation

    Just like any family, the members of this vampire clan get on each other's nerves living in close quarters. Living off stolen blood packs supplied by the mob in exchange for hits, the 7th year Time Of Feasting is now upon them, where they must kill and consume fresh blood in order to live. But they are also extremely vulnerable to exposure as their desire for fresh blood is uncontrollable. They decide to stay in New York to do their killing under Victor's strict rules, but a rebellion led by Carfax, who wants to be "free" and is sick of hiding exposes the clan to 2 detectives, a drunkard, a defrocked priest, and a cult who wants to destroy Victor's colony. Victor must break the rules of Nosferatu and try to finish off Carfax while dealing with the exposure and possible demise he's caused for the clan.

    WGA Number

    The author has not yet written this

    Mature Audience Themes

    Extreme Violence, Language/Profanity

    Plot - Other Elements

    Twist,Other

    Plot - Premise

    Rebellion Against 'The One'

    Main Character Details

    Name: Victor Renquist

    Age: 40s

    Gender: Male

    Role: Protagonist

    Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Charming,Confident,Engaging,Skillful,Unapologetic

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Dahlia

    Age: 10

    Gender: Female

    Role: Logical

    Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Decisive,Faithful

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Gideon

    Age: 60s

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Desperate,Clumsy,Narcisstic,Religious

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Carfax

    Age: 20s

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Confident,Crazy,Naive,Villainous,Outspoken,Unapologetic

    Genre

    COMEDY, THRILLER, FANTASY

    Brief

    Victor Renquist tries to retain control of the colony of vampires he created when one of them tries to usurp his power during a period of feasting on the living. With the help of his loyal vampires they destroy the pretender and then take care of the humans that have followed the bloody trail to their doorstep.

    Overall Rating

    GOOD

    Point of View

    SCRIPT

    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: GOOD

    Characterization: FAIR

    Commerciality: GOOD

    Franchise Potential: GOOD

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: GOOD

    Structure: GOOD

    Theme: FAIR

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    The battle between Victor and Carfax is the primary element plot, not the feasting. The book profile reflect that priority.

    Draw of Story

    The weirdness and eccentricity of the vampires is the first positive trait that gets established. The hook isn't clear till the police get involved.

    Possible Drawbacks

    Confusion over the plot in the first twenty pages. It's not until the police show up that the plot becomes clear and the friction between Victor and Carfax gains stakes. Also a character named Carfax, in addition to being a trademark issue, gives the image of a cartoon fox advertising used cars instead of a young vampire.

    Use of Special Effects

    THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

    Primary Hook of Story

    The weirdness and eccentricity of the vampires is the first positive trait that gets established. The hook isn't clear till the police get involved.

    Fanbase Potential

    It could be popular within the horror fanbase. Despite a broad sense of humor the brutal violence will probably keep it from leaving the realm of people who like blood and guts.

    Awards Potential

    No, it's horror that's supposed to be fun. Those can be crowd-pleasers but they don't win awards.

    Envisioned Budget

    MEDIUM BUDGET

    Similar Films/TV Series

    DARK SHADOWS, SANTA CLARITA DIET

    What’s New About the Story

    A battle between vampires that attracts lethal attention from a vampire hunter is a strong combination of elements usually used separately. Keeping it focused on these elements would play to its strengths.

    Lead Characters

    Victor's dilemma is different from that we normally see in a vampire movie and relatable in a human way.

    Uniqueness of Story

    No. Pacing, exposition, plot structure character development could all be improved.

    Possible Formats

    FILM

    Analyst Recommendation

    WORK IN PROGRESS

    Justification

    The exposition is barebones but because it is lacking rather than being efficient. Without reading the profile it wouldn't be entirely clear until deep into the script what this is about and there are elements are never fully explained. The film begins with gathering blood and setting rules for the hunt then proceeds with a plot that has almost nothing to do with these elements. That the opening scene is a hit in exchange for blood is itself not obvious. As another example, what is 'the voice' and what does it sound like? What does it do? It is used often but never made clear. Films of this genre are best when they don't meander as much. Fans expect something short and savage. This could be twenty pages shorter without losing anything essential. There's a good sense of humor. (Dr. Phil's line. Killing Dahlia's parents. Escort services as takeout.) However, these are too few and far between. Lean into this strong point and make it stronger. Similarly, most of the characters lack definition and even description. If you're going to make The Real World with vampires then they should each be bold and well-defined. Imogene is the best example of being underdeveloped.

    Tips for Improvement

    Punch it up, cut it down and clarify the plot. There's definite potential here but it needs more time put in.

    Brief

    Victor Renquist tries to retain control of the colony of vampires he created when one of them tries to usurp his power during a period of feasting on the living. With the help of his loyal vampires they destroy the pretender and then take care of the humans that have followed the bloody trail to their doorstep.

    What We Liked

    “Time of Feasting” has an interesting collection of characters, a unique perspective for a vampire story and fun sense of humor.

    “Time of Feasting” presents a fresh look at the world of vampires with an eclectic cast of characters waging an existential battle for control told with a witty sense of humor and cinematic gore. It should be a crowd pleaser with people who like their vampires successful and sassy.

    Key points:
    Witty sense of humor.
    Blood and guts for horror fans.
    Different take of conflicts within the world of vampires.
    Interesting collection of characters.
    Potential future adventures for the survivors.

    Synopsis

    Victor Renquist, master of a group of Vampires he created, gathers everyone together to lay down rules for the upcoming feasting. A time when they will not have to drink packaged blood, but enjoy living flesh by seducing and hypnotizing victims. They are confined to hunt in the city, but when a former human lover of Victor is found dead it leads the police to investigate the house. Victor knows the insubordinate Carfax is behind it. When another human, belonging to Victor's lover Cynara, turns up dead the police begin investigating a serial killer and possible cult.

    The killings also attract the attention of Gideon, a slovenly conspiracy theorist, vampire hunter and former priest who's noticed a pattern in many killings. He pilfers a lead on Victor's house from the police. Cynara and Julia battle as wolves over the right to hunt with Victor, he chooses to hunt alone. After the victim he picks in a bar is found dead the police pay another visit. Carfax's dropping hints to them leads to confrontation with Dahlia, who appears to be a ten year old girl, and is an ally of Victor.

    Carfax tells Victor he wants to strike out on his own and make his own vampires over which he will be master. Lupo, Victor's muscle, breaks some of Carfax's bones and would like to finish the job, but Victor doesn't want to break the vampire code by having him killed. Victor, Lupo and Julia find a BDSM den where Carfax has two humans locked up, they brutally kill and feed on them.

    Cynara leaves the house, upset that Victor killed with Julia, and Carfax kills two more people. Carfax creates a fake attack on the house with an illusion, evidence he's getting stronger. Voodoo practitioners are getting raided by the police and they threaten to break a truce with the vampires if Victor doesn't handle the problem. Gideon finds Cynara asleep at a hotel and kills her with a stake through the heart. He shows off his kill to the two skeptical detectives, Williams and McGuire, in charge of investigating the colony.

    The three of them find Carfax and Blasco, a vampire lured away from the colony, just as they wake up for the night. In the ensuing fight Blasco and Williams are killed. Carfax returns to the house for a final confrontation with Victor, they fight with sword and claws, scratching the black out windows. Carfax 'heals' the scratches then removes his illusion leaving Victor trapped in a cage of sun's rays. Before he can finish the kill Carfax is surrounded by the loyal vampires for force him into the sunlight and a quick fiery death.

    Gideon and McGuire arrive and Victor gives evidence Gideon is behind the killings and hypnotizes McGuire into believing it. He shoots Gideon dead and the vampires pile into coffins to be shipped out to LA.

    About The Author

    Jerry Hoffman is the head writer of a lifestyle and travel website. Jerry was also one of five writers chosen to write for a Playstation video game called "Brooktown High" by Konami Digital Entertainment (Silent Hill franchise). He created four characters and wrote 5,000 lines of dialogue for the game.