Michala

Book Cover

ACTION ADVENTURE CRIME DRAMA OTHER

2000s,Contemporary

J.D. Simmons

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Logline

A rancher on the Arizona/Mexican border fighting a Mexican drug cartel trying to take over his ranch.

Genre

Action,Adventure,Crime,Drama,Other

Short Summary

A Mexican drug cartel is running drugs across Rance Saddler's ranch. He tries to stop them and they decide to take over his ranch by any means necessary. Rance becomes involved with Michala Papadopoulas whose family owns Twenty-six Mile Station, the local restaurant.


Rance, with the help of the Tosay family, crosses the border to attack the Drug Cartel's headquarters. Later the Tosay's cross the border and kill the head of the cartel. Standing on the porch, Rance tells Michala he is in the mood for something hot, white and sweet as he kisses her.

Setting

Southeastern Arizona

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Other

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending

Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence, Language/Profanity

Main Character Details

Name: Rance Saddler

Age: 30's

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Decisive,Faithful,Flexible,Gracious,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Masculine,Modest,Patriotic,Skillful,Romantic,Strong Moral Code,Selfless,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: Michala Papadopoulas

Age: 20's

Gender: Female

Role: Emotional

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Decisive,Gracious,Heroic,Honorable,Modest,Sexy,Patriotic,Selfless,Outspoken,Skillful,Romantic,Seductive,Strong Moral Code,Faithful,Engaging

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

Rance Saddler inherits property in SE Arizona along the Mexican border. He is trying to start a horse business and is having problems with a Mexican drug cartel transporting drugs across his property. He becomes romantically involved with Michala Papadopoulas whose family own Twenty-six Mile Station, the local restaurant. He and Michala and the Tosay brothers, whom he has hired as ranch security, become engaged with the drug cartel leading to a violent direct confrontation with them.

About The Author

An Army veteran, rescue team medic, college graduate, adjunct weapons instructor and author, Mr. Simmons lives in Tucson, Arizona and works as an English equestrian riding instructor.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Amazon KDP

Year Published: 2016

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

9781535547826

Genre

ACTION, DRAMA

Brief

Rance, an Australian horse trainer, inherits a ranch in Arizona. His ranch lies along the route of a Mexican drug cartel. The cartel try to continue business and show their force when Rance tries to control their movements to stay off his land. Rance and his crew must take revenge into their own hands both for the safety of the ranch and to protect the family of the woman that Rance loves.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: GOOD

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes, the profile reflects the content in the story. However, the ending of the short summary, the "hot, white, and sweet" line, would not resonate with an audience who has not already read the narrative. By replacing this ending with a summary to more accurately reflect the plot rather than an inside joke of a relationship the reader isn't privy to yet, the summary can function more strongly as a preview.

Draw of Story

An outsider coming into a small ranch town is tense unto itself for the shifts in relationship dynamics their presence can cause, yet causing an all out gang war for occupying a ranch is next level intriguing.

Possible Drawbacks

Some of the characters such as the cartel, the extra waitresses and police have static personalities. There are many to keep track of but they rarely advance the plot due to their character, but rather as their functional role in society. By creating more distinct personalities that allowing for dynamic growth, there could be more emotional investment in the side characters. The line that is repeated throughout the book that Michala is ""hot, white, and sweet"" is confusing as to why she needs to be white. Clarifying what this distinction needs to be part of the desirability of her as a woman or replacing or removing the word would help improve the meaning behind the sentiment.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that an Australian ranch hand has to take on a Mexican drug cartel with his hired help because the police are inept. It is interesting to see how far people will go to protect their loved ones in the name of justice while still trying to be moral.

Fanbase Potential

This could have a medium to large fan base of people who enjoy Westerns or dramas centered around drug trafficking. Given the recent popularity of similar drug related media, this could prove popular.

Awards Potential

This is unlikely to have awards potential as the characters go through many dramatic events however their emotional range is rather composed and action movies tend to not fare well in dramatic categories. Although the setting and the world building are well done, an Arizona ranch will probably not create notice for design elements in the creative awards either, as the narrative is set in the modern era in a naturally well-lit environment and awards categories like such tend to favor innovation in the creative field.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

YELLOWSTONE, SICARIO, NARCOS, DALLAS, BREAKING BAD, SAVAGES

What’s New About the Story

The originality comes from the team work of the characters in order to protect their ranch and their success over the local sheriff's office. By making the characters have their own small arcs outside of the main love story and Rance as the protagonist, the emotional investment in their success over the antagonists will be strengthened.

Lead Characters

Rance has a lot of integrity and isn't afraid to make hard decisions. He successfully protects those he is loyal to and his horses not because he is particularly skilled physically, but because he works hard and does what is needed to get done no matter how small the tasks is or long the task takes.

Uniqueness of Story

This has the beginnings of being a solid modern Western involving the Mexican drug cartel, however even more character development and streamlining the pacing will help fix the emotional investment to the success of the side characters.

Possible Formats

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

The attraction between Michala and Rance needs to be founded on more than physical features in order for their relationship to resonate. Michala is portrayed as sensible and for her to date Triple G without him having any redeemable qualities does not compute. By having all the villains be more human in terms of layers and having redeemable qualities just like the protagonists should have flaws, the overall conflict will be more nuanced. The pacing between moving in and engaging in conflict with the cartel after turning down the lawyer could be more rapid pace. This would help focus the narrative on the cartel conflict as the clear goal rather having an equal number of scenes involving everyday horse training activities or romance.