SUSPENSE, DRAMA

A chief detective and his team uncover a child-trafficking net deeply rooted in public administration at a small town in Nebraska.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Yes, it is accurate, but there is a lack of information and some mistakes. For instance, Chad is described as the antagonist, while he is actually the story's protagonist. Adam, on the other hand, is listed as the protagonist, and he is in fact an antagonistic figure.

The timely and relevant main theme.

The writing is too simplistic and some of the occurrences and dialogues don't sound believable.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

A child-trafficking organization dominating a small town public administration, something that sounds very frightening to think of.

That's not the case, but it could attract people interested in police stories and social drama.

Not really, the story would have to be much better developed for that to happen.

MEDIUM BUDGET

TAKEN - A FORMER FBI AGENT DISMANTLES A WOMAN-TRAFFICKING ORGANIZATION IN ORDER TO FREE HIS ABDUCTED DAUGHTER. VERY YOUNG GIRLS - A DOCUMENTARY THAT FOLLOWS AFRICAN-AMERICAN TEENAGERS AS THEY ARE LURED AND TRAFFICKED BY PIMPS ON NEW YORK STREETS.

The idea of a whole town administration involved in such a horrendous crime. However, the story could better developed and freed from clichés to become really unique.

Chad is a strong-willed policeman with an unshakable sense of justice and honesty.

Not really. Storytelling must be strongly worked upon, characterization still lacks depth and the whole narrative needs more thrills and suspense.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

To be adapted into a film or a TV series, the book requires extensive changes and rewrites. First of all, many dialogues are not believable and sometimes feel even inappropriate for the specific moment in which they take place. A lot of the characters' actions are also questionable, especially considering some of them are experienced police agents. For example, the protagonist, who leads the main investigation, immediately allows his daughter to go out unprotected right after realizing there is a sexual predator at loose in town. Furthermore, he places a former victim of abduction in an unprotected house, which leads her to become an easy prey for the criminal organization. Other than that, the whole plot could be better structured, and the people in it would need more impactful characterization to actually be remarkable, which they are not as of now. So, even though the intentions and the main idea for the story are great, it still needs a lot of work in order to become ready to be a successful audiovisual adaptation and attract large audiences.