Christmas Carroll

James Potter jameschristopherpotter@gmail.com 3212164399149

COMEDY MEMOIR FUNNY

1960s & '70s

James Christopher Potter

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Logline

Christmas Carroll is a fractured memoir about three young teens composing a yuletide carol for Miss December 1965 and inviting her to the parish CYO Christmas fundraiser to play the song live for her.

Genre

Comedy,Memoir,Funny

Short Summary

The author is lamenting the reality that his band is broken up as he and his older brother are indefinitely grounded in their bedroom for causing a scandal at their parish churches CYO Christmas fundraiser Battle of the Bands.


All hell has broken loose as the scandal is featured in the Sunday Salt Lake Tribune as a review of the Saturday nights event is published for all to see. The writing is on the wall until a most unlikely intercessory grace intervenes.

Setting

December 1965 in Salt Lake City, Utah

Based on a True Story

Yes

Plot - Premise

Quest

Plot - Other Elements

Coming of Age,Twist

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Don "Codge" Potter, Nic "Stump" Baker, and Jim "Chick" Potter

Age: 14 & 16

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Clumsy,Crazy,Desperate,Faithful,Insecure,Naive,Blunt,Funny,Sarcastic,Unapologetic

Additional Character Details

Name: Bob Baker

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Role: Logical

Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Confident,Engaging,Educated,Leader,Patriotic,Blunt

Additional Character Details

Name: Rolph Stonehocker aka "Schnitzel Von Strudel"

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Charming,Clumsy,Empathetic,Honorable,Modest

Additional Character Details

Name: Mr. & Mrs. Potter (Don and Jim's parents)

Age: 50

Gender: Other

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Decisive,Faithful,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Modest,Religious,Blunt

Development Pitch

What if three young teens - Codge, Stump, and Chick - and their Salt Lake City rock and roll band Beat The Needles got the harebrained scheme to write an offbeat yuletide tune for Miss December 1965 then secretly invite her to their churches school sponsored Catholic Youth Organization Christmas fund raiser with the intention of performing the song live in front of the priests, nuns, family, parishioners, and classmates simply to impress her? Would the priests get hot under the collar? Or the nun's resort to punitive bad habits? What would the parishioners say? And will the youthful band survive to play another day or succumb to Old Lang Syne? Christmas Carroll is an uproarious coming of age story pitting innocence and naïveté against the unbending ironclad will of the religious and social right...as in "I'm right, you're wrong!"

About The Author

I have no biography displayed in my story summary

Target Audiences

Age: 13-17,18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Our Lady of Light Catholic Church in Salt Lake City, Utah

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: James Christopher Potter

Year Published: 2016

Hard Copy Available

No

ISBN

Information not completed

Genre

COMEDY, ACTION

Brief

Codge, Nic and Jim have formed a band after The Beatles debut. They decide to enroll their band in a contest to create a song for Miss December 1965. They get tangled up in some local drama involving some criminal activity.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: GOOD

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes the book profile accurately reflects the book.

Draw of Story

The story begins with The Beatles premiering and starting a cultural phenomenon. The young boys in this story were swept up in the Beatles mania and wanted to form a band. The youthful energy and desire to emulate the band is fun.

Possible Drawbacks

The book is a raunchy ride surrounding silly young boys. There are many movies like this that can be entertaining but have no substance. This can be avoided by more focus on them creating a song and having a rewarding prize at the end. It is a holiday romp that becomes more about the antics than the song.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that a group of young boys forms a band and tries to impress Miss December with a song. I would not watch this movie because it is a young boy fantasy film. They are adolescents running around, getting into trouble and looking at breast.

Fanbase Potential

This could have a large fanbase as many films like it have. This raunchy sort of comedy has cult followings. The story needs to be developed better, keeping to the plot and accenting it with the various shenanigans.

Awards Potential

This has no awards potential. This story's goal is pure entertainment and laughs. The plot is a vehicle for that purpose and nothing more.

Envisioned Budget

LOW BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

SUPERBAD, GOOD BOYS, THE NIGHT BEFORE

What’s New About the Story

This raunchy comedy is original because it is set in the 60's. Outside of that, it is very much like a adolescent, racy comedy.

Lead Characters

The lead characters do not stand out. They are young teenage boys who started a band. There are only think about there music and girls. There are few distinctions between the three main characters.

Uniqueness of Story

This is a very average film. It would have wide appeal as many films like it do. The story is unapologetic in what it is and can not be improved without completely changing its' purpose.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

The story would need to be more well rounded. The story begins with the Beatles and the band and moves into murder and shooting. Then it ends with a cameo from Hugh Hefner handing over a Playboy magazine. There needs to be a common plot to tie everything together.