Amberly and the Secret of the Fairy Warriors
Submision Type
book
Logline
A 12 yr old fairy with a disabled wing vows to become a fairy warrior and find her father. When her mother forbids sword fighting lessons, she runs away, falls into a portal to the Dark Forest where her father is trapped, and reluctantly pairs up with a gothic fairy who offers to help find him.
Genre
Fantasy,Children's,Family
Short Summary
Amberly vows to become a fairy warrior and save her father. Although she's unable to fly, she can run using a stick for balance. When she's told she's the reason her father vanished, she creates a wing brace to fix her balance and takes a sword fighting lesson behind her disapproving mother's back.
Setting
Whimsical Land's Forest
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Voyage and Return,Quest,Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Meaningful Message,Happy Ending,Coming of Age
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Amberly
Age: 12
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Skillful,Blunt,Lone Wolf,Heroic,Faithful,Engaging,Empathetic,Desperate,Honorable,Strong Moral Code,Unapologetic,Leader,Complex,Visionary,Secretive,Confident
Additional Character Details
Name: Safflower the Fairy Butterfly
Age: No Age
Gender: Female
Role: Sidekick
Key Traits: Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Honorable,Gracious,Visionary,Strong Moral Code,Skillful,Selfless,Charming,Outspoken
Additional Character Details
Name: Onyx
Age: 12
Gender: Female
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Gracious,Visionary,Obedient,Strong Moral Code,Modest,Skillful,Complex,Selfless,Insecure,Naive,Clumsy
Additional Character Details
Name: Boggart
Age: 100 year old fairy
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Power Hungry,Outspoken,Skillful,Visionary,Sophisticated,Manipulative,Unapologetic,Lone Wolf,Aggressive
Genre
ACTION, DRAMA, FANTASY
Brief
Amberly grows up as a fairy without a wing. She finds ways to adapt but feels somewhat of an outcast. When she is 12 her uncle takes her to the Dark Forest to find her long-lost father. Amberly learns that what makes her different is what can help save her and her friend Onyx when someone evil comes their way during the search.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Pace: GOOD
Premise: EXCELLENT
Structure: GOOD
Theme: EXCELLENT
Accuracy of Book Profile
Indeed the book profile reflects the story and the sections accurately achieve their purpose. The development pitch is particularly well-done in explaining why the story is marketable.
Draw of Story
The idea a disabled fairy as the protagonist is intriguing no matter what her mission is. Showing the societal harshness towards physical differences as well as the mental toll it can take on the disabled is not a common theme in most genre thus it is very compelling and novel.
Possible Drawbacks
The characters are meant to be twelve as is much of the intended audience, however everyone seems younger due to the dialogue often lacking nuance. Making the characters and intended audience younger may help the direct dialogue sound more realistic and age-appropriate.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Amberly's wing is underformed which causes her to be disabled. This makes the fairy relatable to anyone with limb differences as well as mobility issues. Her ability to adapt is charming and often fun such as when she pole vaults around her community before she can fly.
Fanbase Potential
This could potentially have a large fanbase of children especially if it were streaming because the themes are likable and the plot is easy to follow. Although the profile mentions that the story should be interesting for both girls and boys, it still feels more girl skewed so may be more popular with them.
Awards Potential
This could potentially have awards potential within kids content such as Daytime Emmy's especially if the story is animated. It would only need special effects if live action.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BARBIE: A FAIRY SECRET, PIXIE HOLLOW SERIES, BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA, PETER PAN, FAIRLY ODD PARENTS
What’s New About the Story
Fairies and disabilities are not commonly represented in media and the combination is even more rare. Showcasing the fairy world building more especially the perspective of their small size could help the community feel even more fairy oriented rather than just like mini- humans who can fly.
Lead Characters
Amberly is adaptable, has unmatched ingenuity and a kind heart. Onyx is powerful, helpful and motivating. Safflower is supportive and considerate.
Uniqueness of Story
This has a great premise and characters although some of the dialgoue and side characters could be a shade more developed. There is a huge amount of emotional investment in Amberly.
Possible Formats
Film: Streaming, Indie
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Amberly goes through an important transformation but her confidence and capable nature despite her disability isn't shown in how society also changes to treat her with respect in the resolution. Adding this as well as making the characters younger as well as the target audience would better match the tone. Making sure the antagonist has a clear motive would also help the stakes feel increased in emotional investment as both sides of the conflict are more intentional, understood and proactive.