ADVENTURE SCI-FI YOUNG ADULT FANTASY FAMILY
A 17-year-old underachiever thought his webcomic about the faraway planet Denab IV and its greatest hero Excelsior existed only in his imagination. But he is wrong. Denab IV exists, all of the stories Matthew wrote and drew were from Excelsior's memories, and he is next in line to become him.
Matthew has been spending the past 7 years writing & drawing his webcomic Excelsior. At the same time, a beautiful older woman "Dr. Katherine Sierra" has been searching for any sign of Excelsior so he can save her home planet Denab IV. She finally gets that sign when she finds Matthew's comic.
Matthew becomes Excelsior when Katherine is killed by one of their enemies and her thicker Denarian blood mixes with Matthew's, he and another Denarian return to Denab IV, and Excelsior's presence inspires his people to rise up against their oppressors and their emperor Nocterar.
New York City (with several scenes on the small planet Denab IV)
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Happy Ending,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Matthew Peters
Key Traits: Selfless,Empathetic,Skillful,Sarcastic,Gracious,Strong Moral Code,Modest
Additional Character Details
Name: Dr. Katherine Sierra / Elder Klierra
Key Traits: Sexy,Confident,Charming,Empathetic,Selfless,Skillful,Funny,Faithful,Engaging,Gracious,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Honorable,Educated
Additional Character Details
Name: Jason Peters
Key Traits: Clumsy,Charming,Outspoken,Faithful,Gracious,Insecure,Naive
Additional Character Details
Name: General Hodera
Key Traits: Masculine,Villainous,Aggressive,Badass,Sexy,Power Hungry,Skillful,Visionary,Greedy,Leader,Seductive,Engaging
Created by high school senior Matthew Peters, Excelsior - savior of faraway planet Denab IV - is becoming an Internet sensation as the main character of a popular online comic strip. But before Matthew can capitalize on this success, a beautiful older woman arrives at his school and informs him that she is from Denab IV, and that Excelsior's lifeforce lives within him. Now, with Excelsior's enemies growing in power on both planets, Matthew realizes he is the key to Earth's survival and Denab IV's salvation. Based on the international bestselling novel, Excelsior presents a familiar coming-of-age story with enough narrative twists to keep the audience invested. Including elements that echo an inter-planetary King Arthur, Matthew is a caring and loyal young man who will strongly appeal to young audiences and inspire them to become their own greatest creations.
Matthew is a high school reject who spends his time creating web comics for his imaginary galaxy instead of dating. One day the leader of the web galaxy finds Matthew and informs him his creation is memories from their universes' long lost hero. Matthew as the vessel for this hero, travels to his creation and helps them defeat their oppressive enemy.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the profile accurately reflects the books, however to add improvements the development pitch and short summary could relay different information for a more well rounded profile. There is mention of a meaningful message so by citing the message in the pitch, the narrative will be better showcased as why the coming of age is different and unique. Matthew's inner conflict is central to the story for the development as the main conflict has already been explained in the logline and short summary.
Draw of Story
The concept is slick and entertaining in that Matthew's creation comes to life to make his fiction become history on an alien planet. This is an intriguing hypothetical for the written aspect as well as the alien aspect.
When the characters do go through a transformation, in particular Matthew, it is more of a reaction rather than proactive. Otherwise many of the characters especially the Denab IV characters are static. By giving characters clearer inner conflicts with active transformation this will maximize the emotional investment in the external plot and their success will feel more earned.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Matthew is a high school writer whose alien planet comes to life to find him and bring him back to save their planet. Matthew learns to value himself through helping others and that within society he does have worth.
The story is jam-packed with sci-fi and action tropes could definitely appeal to superhero fans. With a greater depth to the characters despite being a fun action romp, there could definitely be a large audience both as a YA coming of age story as well as amongst male teens given the trend for female YA protagonists.
Given the cross-genre story being sci-fi and action as well as YA this is unlikely to get nominated for serious awards but might do well for teen awards.
Similar Films/TV Series
THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO, READY PLAYER ONE, JUPITER ASCENDING, LILO AND STITCH, INKHEART, WEIRD SCIENCE
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the web comics being the actual memories of the main character as told through the writer who becomes vessel and hero to save the planet he was writing about. Making Matthew, the protagonist's transformation come more from an internal change rather than reactions to this situation could help make his heroics more valued.
Matthew is realistically insecure, but a talented writer and adaptable hero. Dr. Sierra is dedicated and wise.
Uniqueness of Story
This is a really great concept with entertaining world building, however the characters themselves are a bit underdeveloped. Further development of the characters could really skyrocket the concept's potential. There are a bunch of likeable characters, but their transformation could have more emotional investment if based off their own accord rather than as a reaction. In particular Michael's physical change making him more worthy than before has a confusing message.
Film - Studio, Film - Indie, Film - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Altering the characters to be more dynamic and proactive rather than reacting to the plot would help maximize the potential. In particular the viewpoints of the males of the females could be more modernized. While playing into sci-fi trops is fun, sometimes going against the genre could also create more surprising plot progression as the setbacks are pretty standard (but followable) at present.