Excelsior

Book Cover

ADVENTURE SCI-FI YOUNG ADULT FANTASY FAMILY

Contemporary

George Sirois

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Logline

A 17-year-old underachiever thought his webcomic about the faraway planet Denab IV and its greatest hero Excelsior existed only in his imagination. But he is wrong. Denab IV exists, all of the stories Matthew wrote and drew were from Excelsior's memories, and he is next in line to become him.

Genre

Adventure,Sci-fi,Young Adult,Fantasy,Family

Short Summary

Matthew has been spending the past 7 years writing & drawing his webcomic Excelsior. At the same time, a beautiful older woman "Dr. Katherine Sierra" has been searching for any sign of Excelsior so he can save her home planet Denab IV. She finally gets that sign when she finds Matthew's comic.


Matthew becomes Excelsior when Katherine is killed by one of their enemies and her thicker Denarian blood mixes with Matthew's, he and another Denarian return to Denab IV, and Excelsior's presence inspires his people to rise up against their oppressors and their emperor Nocterar.

Setting

New York City (with several scenes on the small planet Denab IV)

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return

Plot - Other Elements

Coming of Age,Happy Ending,Meaningful Message

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Matthew Peters

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Selfless,Empathetic,Skillful,Sarcastic,Gracious,Strong Moral Code,Modest

Additional Character Details

Name: Dr. Katherine Sierra / Elder Klierra

Age: 45-55

Gender: Female

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Sexy,Confident,Charming,Empathetic,Selfless,Skillful,Funny,Faithful,Engaging,Gracious,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Honorable,Educated

Additional Character Details

Name: Jason Peters

Age: 45

Gender: Male

Role: emotional

Key Traits: Clumsy,Charming,Outspoken,Faithful,Gracious,Insecure,Naive

Additional Character Details

Name: General Hodera

Age: Unknown

Gender: Female

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Masculine,Villainous,Aggressive,Badass,Sexy,Power Hungry,Skillful,Visionary,Greedy,Leader,Seductive,Engaging

Development Pitch

Created by high school senior Matthew Peters, Excelsior - savior of faraway planet Denab IV - is becoming an Internet sensation as the main character of a popular online comic strip. But before Matthew can capitalize on this success, a beautiful older woman arrives at his school and informs him that she is from Denab IV, and that Excelsior's lifeforce lives within him. Now, with Excelsior's enemies growing in power on both planets, Matthew realizes he is the key to Earth's survival and Denab IV's salvation. Based on the international bestselling novel, Excelsior presents a familiar coming-of-age story with enough narrative twists to keep the audience invested. Including elements that echo an inter-planetary King Arthur, Matthew is a caring and loyal young man who will strongly appeal to young audiences and inspire them to become their own greatest creations.

About The Author

George Sirois is the author of the international bestselling young adult / science-fiction novel Excelsior, its two sequels, and the five-part science-fiction / sports serial From Parts Unknown. He served as President of the Missouri Writers Guild from 2017-2018, and is the host and producer of the podcasts Excelsior Journeys and From Duck Till Dark: Outside the Marvel Studios. He is also an audiobook narrator, lending his voice to books of all genres. A New Yorker since birth, George now lives in St. Louis, Missouri with his wife and daughter. For more information, please visit www.hesgotit.com.

Target Audiences

Age: 7-12,13-17,18-34

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: with a Publisher

Publisher: Aelurus Publishing

Year Published: 2017

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

9780995739772

Genre

ACTION, DRAMA

Brief

Matthew is a high school reject who spends his time creating web comics for his imaginary galaxy instead of dating. One day the leader of the web galaxy finds Matthew and informs him his creation is memories from their universes' long lost hero. Matthew as the vessel for this hero, travels to his creation and helps them defeat their oppressive enemy.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT

Pace: GOOD

Premise: EXCELLENT

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes the profile accurately reflects the books, however to add improvements the development pitch and short summary could relay different information for a more well rounded profile. There is mention of a meaningful message so by citing the message in the pitch, the narrative will be better showcased as why the coming of age is different and unique. Matthew's inner conflict is central to the story for the development as the main conflict has already been explained in the logline and short summary.

Draw of Story

The concept is slick and entertaining in that Matthew's creation comes to life to make his fiction become history on an alien planet. This is an intriguing hypothetical for the written aspect as well as the alien aspect.

Possible Drawbacks

When the characters do go through a transformation, in particular Matthew, it is more of a reaction rather than proactive. Otherwise many of the characters especially the Denab IV characters are static. By giving characters clearer inner conflicts with active transformation this will maximize the emotional investment in the external plot and their success will feel more earned.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that Matthew is a high school writer whose alien planet comes to life to find him and bring him back to save their planet. Matthew learns to value himself through helping others and that within society he does have worth.

Fanbase Potential

The story is jam-packed with sci-fi and action tropes could definitely appeal to superhero fans. With a greater depth to the characters despite being a fun action romp, there could definitely be a large audience both as a YA coming of age story as well as amongst male teens given the trend for female YA protagonists.

Awards Potential

Given the cross-genre story being sci-fi and action as well as YA this is unlikely to get nominated for serious awards but might do well for teen awards.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO, READY PLAYER ONE, JUPITER ASCENDING, LILO AND STITCH, INKHEART, WEIRD SCIENCE

What’s New About the Story

The originality stems from the web comics being the actual memories of the main character as told through the writer who becomes vessel and hero to save the planet he was writing about. Making Matthew, the protagonist's transformation come more from an internal change rather than reactions to this situation could help make his heroics more valued.

Lead Characters

Matthew is realistically insecure, but a talented writer and adaptable hero. Dr. Sierra is dedicated and wise.

Uniqueness of Story

This is a really great concept with entertaining world building, however the characters themselves are a bit underdeveloped. Further development of the characters could really skyrocket the concept's potential. There are a bunch of likeable characters, but their transformation could have more emotional investment if based off their own accord rather than as a reaction. In particular Michael's physical change making him more worthy than before has a confusing message.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, Film - Indie, Film - Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

Altering the characters to be more dynamic and proactive rather than reacting to the plot would help maximize the potential. In particular the viewpoints of the males of the females could be more modernized. While playing into sci-fi trops is fun, sometimes going against the genre could also create more surprising plot progression as the setbacks are pretty standard (but followable) at present.