51
Submision Type
book
Logline
When Lindsay Gold takes over as county sheriff, her new job becomes something that she never expected. A secret government program, monsters, the paranormal, and finding out her husband, Wren Gold, plays a part in it turning her life upside down. Now they must work together to end the chaos.
Genre
Action,Drama,Sci-fi
Short Summary
Lindsay Gold is asked to take over as sheriff when the sheriff quits. When her department begins to get calls about monsters she knows something is wrong and an attack on a girl in a local river confirms it. Lindsay quickly discovers that her husband, Agent Wren Gold, knows more than he is saying.
Setting
Missouri
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Other
Plot - Other Elements
Twist,Happy Ending
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Lindsay Gold
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Flexible,Heroic,Honorable,Strong Moral Code,Leader,Modest,Selfless,Skillful,Funny,Sarcastic,Faithful
Additional Character Details
Name: Wren Gold
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aggressive,Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Faithful,Flexible,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Masculine,Modest,Patriotic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Skillful,Funny,Strong Moral Code,Selfless
Additional Character Details
Name: Max Cartwright
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Clumsy,Confident,Engaging,Faithful,Flexible,Heroic,Honorable,Masculine,Obedient,Blunt,Selfless,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Sarcastic,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Cat Dyatlov
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Role: tempter
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Aggressive,Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Engaging,Flexible,Heartthrob,Educated,Leader,Sexy,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Sarcastic,Seductive,Unapologetic
Genre
ACTION, THRILLER, SUSPENSE
Brief
Lindsay Gold becomes interim sheriff months after being fired from the department. As she is adjusting back into her new position, she realizes that there was a reason the old sheriff quit. A slew of unexplained cases come flooding in involving supernatural creatures. She works with her department and her husband, a special agent with the government, to get her town handled before anyone else gets hurt.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the profile is very accurate describing the book's plot and characters.
Draw of Story
The rumors that circulate about what happened to the previous sheriff that caused him to quit create supernatural foreshadowing and intrigue the reader with breadcrumbs about Bigfoot.
Possible Drawbacks
The momentum has trouble building as conflicts are solved very quickly and there are a lot of downtime scenes of recovery. Lindsay and Wren seem to have a pattern to most of their interactions which involves him just giving her food and Lindsay complaining about her day. By creating depth to the side characters that make them necessary to the plot, and only giving scenes to character relations that pursue the story, the suspense and mystery will build more quickly.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is the rumor that the old sheriff left because they were attacked by Bigfoot. This combined with the intel that the military was secretly testing in the woods creates narrative suspense because they are can neither be proven or disproven.
Fanbase Potential
This could have large fanbase for people that are fan of cops, sci-fi and or fantasy animals as well as audiences who solving government conspiracies and mysteries.
Awards Potential
Supernatural mysteries and cop dramas tend to not fare well in the awards circuit. There is not enough layering of emotions or story to garner awards as the problems are handled fairly straightforwardly and then the next problem progresses, which sometimes dilutes the suspense and the emotional impact.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
THE FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM, X FILES, SHARKNADO, GODZILLA, STRANGER THINGS
What’s New About the Story
What is original about this story is the beings committing the crimes. The supernatural animals and strange calls are what add suspense and push forward the conflict of the story and mystery more so than a federal government clashing with the small town cops. By focusing more on the mystery of the animals and the escalation of their attacks, the reveal and climax will have more payoff.
Lead Characters
The lead character of Lindsay is both a fish out of water and the most experienced able person in her police department. She is able to lead and defer with ease to utilize her crew to their best abilities. Lindsay stands out for her level head and intuition during the attacks.
Uniqueness of Story
This would be similar to X-Files if it focused on just supernatural animals and the primary investigators were married. Things that could be improved are the agency of the side characters and showing - not telling - their functions within the group dynamic. Lindsay being the one who needs to defer to Wren a lot, brings up a power dynamic that could use some tweaking to create a different balance within their relationship, both professionally and personally.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Streaming, TV Series - Cable
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Somethings that could change to make the suspense and mystery come to the forefront is to reduce Lindsay's domestic interactions, give more distinct purposes to her staff and the reason for mentioning their quirks e.g. Andy is hyped up as being unable to talk to women but this does not affect the investigation and nor does Andy as an officer. The antagonist being the federal government could be stronger in their offense as they also do not really disrupt the cases. Wren, as the expert, could have more internal conflict as he can come off as rather static.