The Beast Within
Submision Type
book
Logline
A contemporary twist on Beauty and the Beast, with a touch of magic to spice things up. Crystal Belle St. James and Daniel Di Domenico: One caring for her Alzheimer's afflicted mother and the other disfigured by Bell's palsy. Enter Blindfold, Inc. a unique dating service.
Genre
Romance,Other
Short Summary
A chance glimpse across the room sets Crystal and Daniel on a journey of discovery of themselves and future possibilities.
Setting
Dallas and North Texas
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Nudity
Main Character Details
Name: Crystal Belle St. James
Age: late 20s
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Confident,Complex,Empathetic,Faithful,Gracious,Educated,Funny,Selfless,Sexy,Honorable
Additional Character Details
Name: Daniel Di Domenico
Age: mid 30s
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Confident,Complex,Decisive,Heartthrob,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Lone Wolf,Sophisticated,Sexy
Additional Character Details
Name: Meredith
Age: of undetermined age
Gender: Female
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Complex,Confident,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Gracious,Flexible,Secretive
Additional Character Details
Name: Todd
Age: 30s
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Aggressive,Complex,Lone Wolf,Underdog
Genre
ROMANCE, MATURE AUDIENCE, DRAMA, FANTASY
Brief
A corporate prince's social life is turned upside down when he suddenly contracts Bell's Palsy. A woman is burdened with taking care of her ailing mother and must make a difficult decision to put her in a retirement home for better care. A chance encounter on a dating website leads to a true connection between the two and they are able to help each other fix their problems. It is a modern adaptation of “Beauty and the Beast.”
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes, the story reflects the outline of the book. In the logline it says "One caring for her Alzheimer's afflicted mother and the other" but there is only one woman protagonist. By changing the logline from "her" to "their" the ambiguity will make more sense.
Draw of Story
The concept that the fairy godmother premise is adapted into dating websites is wickedly creative and the use of Bell's palsy to create "a beast" is also a fresh take on the concept.
Possible Drawbacks
The lead up to the relationship was very slow paced and felt unearned in their original strong emotions. Once the relationship was formed, it's passion relied purely on physical acts and did not advance the plot or emotional arcs in the repetition of their joining.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that the successful man suddenly develops Bell's palsy and has to deal with adversity for the first time in his life. The other hook is that he is in love with two women who are actually the same woman, but he doesn't know it. The third hook is a dating service provided by fairy godmothers.
Fanbase Potential
This could have a large fanbase for those who enjoy romance movies or fairytale adaptations.
Awards Potential
Depending on the genre it is adapted into, this currently might win adult film awards due to the physical nature of many scenes, but not mainstream acting or cinematic awards. This is due to the adaptation being a set storyline and many of the characters lacking a broad range of emotional depth.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BEASTLY, THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY, ONCE UPON A TIME, JANE EYRE
What’s New About the Story
The original aspects of the story are the Bell's palsy creating a Beast and the fairy godmother dating service. Bringing out more about the fairy godmother dating service rather than other static side characters could help develop this part and focusing more on a story from the "beast" perspective rather than both love interests or Belle would also bring a different take to the love story.
Lead Characters
The lead characters’ problems help them stand out. Daniel has Bell's palsy and is already withdrawn from most people, and Crystal is struggling to take care of her mother with Alzheimer's. Both characters have or deal with an illness that is often not represented on screen.
Uniqueness of Story
As it is, this is a pretty standard telling of the outline of “Beauty and the Beast.” By adding unexpected twists and focusing on the unique aspects of the story's modern adaptations rather than the romance, will lead to a more surprising plot. Also giving the side characters subplots will help justify many of their inclusions to create a dynamic rather than static caste.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
By adding depth to the side characters and having actions behind the character's personalities rather than telling with words or explanations, the emotional journey of the characters will feel more lived-in and real.