ACTION, DRAMA, SUSPENSE

Kim is transferred to the NYC FBI office to help with a case of a sleeper cell organization making waves in the US. She gets more time in the field, pursuing the antagonist and trying to stop him from bombing the president. Pazhman moves from Afghanistan to America with a devious plan against the US but Kim and her colleagues are able to avert a major disaster.

GOOD

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: GOOD

Theme: GOOD

Yes, the book profile accurately reflects the book.

The story follows a FBI agent, Kim, who isn't the typical alpha female, kick butt type of main character. She is not always certain of herself and her actions. She wants to be in the field but doesn't know how to go about making the change. She is a relatable character trying to do the best at her job.

This book drags on for too long. A lot of the information does not feel central to the story. There can definitely be some edits to focus on the plot and create more suspense. It takes too much time getting to the main events. Kim's relationship status and attraction to Harper feel forced. As soon as she arrives in the office, she is immediately concerned about a romantic entanglement with a new colleague she met 5 minutes before. It feels unrealistic.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Kim is put on a case to find a sleeper cell organization being stirred in NY. Her specific brand of expertise makes her the perfect candidate for the job. I would watch the movie for the action and female lead.

This would not have a large fanbase. Stories like this are all too common and do not grab audience attention unless very unique. This story is similar to many long running detective shows.

This does not have awards potential. The story is not unique and follows the successful formula of other crime/detective stories. The story is very black and white with little character development.

MEDIUM BUDGET

LAW AND ORDER, BLUE BLOODS, CRIMINAL MINDS, QUANTICO, SPY

This story is not original. A unique element to the story is Kim and her personality. She is not he cool, collected FBI agent who is seasoned and knows her stuff. Kim is still unsure about her position and has not been entirely happy with her time at the FBI. She feels like a normal person than a bullet proof hero.

The lead character stands out because she is a normal women. She left a career to become an FBI agent but it hasn't been everything she hoped it would be. She has insecurities that are showcased and isn't the uber confident female character that tend to be the lead of action films.

This is an average story that needs editing to make it more dynamic. There is too much time taken away from the plot. Every step each character makes is explained when more suspense and mystery would aid the story in setting the tone. Pazhman, the antagonist, is shown through every step of his journey from Afghanistan to bombing the US president's yacht. There is no air of mystery or shadow surrounding him and his intentions.

TV Series: Network, Cable, Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

The romantic story line between Harper and Kim is unnecessary as well as her other romantic activities. While the relationship between Kim and her father enriches the audiences understanding of the character, it is given too much time. Pazhman actions could be revealed strategically throughout the story as Kim gets closer to figuring out who is behind the sleeper cell. Less is more in this case.