Oyster Katcher Killers
David W. Ashby
A string of grisly murders up and down the Outerbanks of North Carolina, and the beautiful FBI agent, Kelli Muller is assigned to the case. She falls in love with Jake Ryan, a rogue private detective, and they pursue two serial killers working in harmony up and down the Banks.
A wealthy real estate developer is stalked and drowned near the Cape Hatteras light house . The scene is described in great detail, as Hercules ( obviously not real name) , an Ex Navy EOD diver savagely, and without mercy drowns an unsuspecting prey,
Kelly is Kidnapped by Hercules and taken to Portsmouth village, the only ghost town on the eastern seaboard ( real location). Jake races his love with an ex-navy seal, and his best friend Jeff Harris. Will they be able to save Kelli or will the Hurricane bearing down on them take them all?
OuterBanks of North Carolina
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Kelli Mueller
Age: Late Twenties to early Thirties
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Aggressive,Sexy,Empathetic,Selfless,Charming,Heartthrob,Romantic,Visionary,Outspoken,Seductive,Heroic
Additional Character Details
Name: Jake ryan,
Age: Early Thirties
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Masculine,Badass,Aggressive,Confident,Complex,Empathetic,Blunt,Funny,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Jude Locklear
Key Traits: Badass,Villainous,Narcisstic,Criminal,Greedy,Seductive,Sophisticated,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Aggressive,Villainous,Narcisstic,Criminal,Crazy,Complex,Skillful,Secretive,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic
This book is highly marketable to those that love a good crime drama. Think CSI or Criminal minds meets Stephen King or Dean Koontz. The book also appeals to those that fear the oil and gas companies pursuit of cheap energy sources will eventually destroy the Earth's delicate environment, thus causing mass extinct including Mankind. It is a very realistic tale, because as an Ex-history teacher, I go into depth describing these mysterious barrier islands full of shipwrecks, lighthouses, Lifeguard stations, lighthouses, and don't forget Edward Teach alias Black beard, the most infamous pirate of all time.
ACTION, SUSPENSE, THRILLER, DRAMA
Ten people die off the coast of North Carolina in gruesome murders at the hand of a serial killer team. FBI agent Kelli uses her local detective partner Jake to her advantage in getting the locals to talk. Kelli gets to near the killers and gets kidnapped by the killers. It is up to Jake and his friends to take down the supernatural murderers and save Kelli before she becomes the next victim.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the book profile showcases the narrative in the logline and describes the very beginning and end in the short summary. It may be helpful to better reflect the book by keeping Kelli's name spelling consistent, focusing on the protagonists in the summary instead. In particular adding more to the development pitch outside of why it s marketable for similar shows but explaining what makes in terms of the genre. For example, the setting in a unique focus that is explained, but the themes of the story would also be helpful to showcase the individual merits of the narrative in its marketing potential.
Draw of Story
The supernatural elements and eerie loneliness of both the victims final moments and Hercules is enticing and definitely original to the story as water murders are uncommon due to the physical stamina needed to overpower someone in their location.
The font size tends to change often and the inner conflicts are somewhat unclear. Hercules is menacing but he doesn't seem to have the malice that Jude does thus despite being the majority physical killer, he seems less proactive as an antagonist internally.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that controversial but esteemed people visiting the North Carolina coast keep getting murdered out at sea. The physical ability to do so of the killer is uncommon as is pinning down a motive that ties all of the deaths together in order to prevent the next.
This could potentially have a large fanbase with further depth to the characters by adding clearer inner conflicts.
Due to its genre and lack of exploring uncommon social issues, the crime piece is unlikely to win any prestige awards.
Similar Films/TV Series
THE SHAPE OF WATER, CRIMINAL MINDS, THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, GIRL ON THE TRAIN, RIVER’S EDGE
What’s New About the Story
The originality of the story stems from the killers and the settings and the cause of death. Either creating more North Carolina-centric investigations or creating clearer inner conflicts for the protagonists will help make them as memorable as the antagonists and victims.
Kelli is brave, determined and practical. Jake is loyal, strong and organized. Hercules is bitter and a follower. Jude is wily, aloof and menacing.
Uniqueness of Story
The water deaths and abnormalities of Hercules as the killer are chilling, but the plot of the investigation is pretty standard.
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Adding more foundation to Jake and Kelli's chemistry and why they like each other outside through showing chemistry together and how they act rather than talking about how they think about one another would help create greater emotional investment in the couple. Making Hercules more internally motivated will make him feel in sync with Jade as an an equally menacing antagonist.