ACTION, COMEDY, DRAMA

Dr. John Swipe attempts vindicate his brother in the court after he is robbed. Unsuccessful, the two English doctor brothers are forced to seek justice in a very roundabout way. Their adventures take them into international espionage. Eventually they are able to sabotage the virtual lives of the six Scottish men who took the 300 pounds. This is after traveling in Congo and involving China and Taiwan business that puts their practices and lives at risk.

FAIR

FIRST PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

The profile is pretty spot on, but there seems to be a chronology typo in the short summary. The narrative logically seeks revenge after the court ruling, but the summary says the Scotsmen returned the money a "year earlier" rather than "a year later."

The court case hypes up the crime as being about principle rather than recompensation. THis creates a mystery around the doctors about why the principle of being robbed is so important that they would put their reputations and finances on the line to be legally correct. By diving deeper in their internal conflicts, it might help make their pettiness more relatable the more risks they begin to take.

The book has an intricate revenge plot for a simple goal, so it is difficult to follow the character's internal conflict development. While the heroes accomplish their goal it is hard to see how they have transformed. By making the protagonists and the antagonists more three-dimensional, perhaps by opening up the narration to be third person omniscient rather than a more closed first person, this may help the characters be more dynamic rather than static.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that two doctors are seeking revenge after failing to get justice in court over a robbery. Building illegal activities to punish illegal activities always leads to tension and conflict.

This could potentially have a medium to large fanbase due to its international aspect of including China and the DCR which are both exotic locations that are perfect for escapism in an action film.

This is unlikely to gain nominations as the range of emotions within an action film and the message is not zietgeisty enough to gain notice. This has potential within its genre to win popular awards rather than esteem awards.

LARGE BUDGET

OCEAN'S ELEVEN, BLACKHAT, AMERICAN HUSTLE, THE REVENANT, THE RHYTHM SECTION, SPECTRE, FOCUS

The length that the two doctors go to gain justice is unparalleled. Understanding their characters outside of just acting on principle will make their motivation more understandable rather than seeming unrealistically dedicated or petty.

Dr. John Swipe and his brother Dr. Michael Swipe are relentless in pursuing their goals and do not bend to any obstacles. They stick to their morals no matter the cost.

The revenge plot is interesting and complicated, but it gives little insight into the characters, both the protagonist and the antagonists. The message is understood and stated clearly that is it about the principle rather than the money, but it is unclear why such a small sum is so meaningful to cause the wealthy doctors to risk even more resources and reputation in going against the court.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Creating dynamic characters over static ones will help increase the emotional investment and logic of the plot driven narrative.