The Devils Child
GENRE
MEMOIR
Core Theme
OVERCOMING MONSTER, REBIRTH
TIME PERIOD
Across Centuries
COMPARABLE TITLES
PRECIOUS, THE GLASS CASTLE, SPEAK, MYSTERIOUS SKIN, LION
CHARACTER LIST
NAOMI: 0-28. LEAD. INSECURE AND EMPATHETIC.
JULIUS: UNKNOW, LIKELY 50+. NAOMI'S THERAPIST AND POSSIBLY BIOLOGICAL FATHER.
JANE: 18+. NAOMI'S ABUSIVE MOTHER WHO PUTS A CURSE ON HER.
FLORA: 40-50S. NAOMIâS GRANDMOTHER WHO RAISES HER WITH LOVE UNTIL SHE MOVES TO ENGLAND AT AGE 10.
LILLY: 7. NAOMIâS DAUGHTER.
TAMARA: TEENS. NAOMIâS YOUNGER HALF-SISTER, WHOM SHE TRIES TO PROTECT FROM JANE.
Logline
The story is about a blonde mixed Race girl born into an all dark skin black family with no father in sight in colonial structure Angola. Her dream was to run away from her abusive family and find her white father. The story illustrates the events that took place in her 23 year journey to him
Genre
Memoir
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34
Target Gender: Universal
Setting
The story begins In Angola then goes on to various parts of the United Kingdom
Based on a True Story
Yes
Starting Description
The story begins with a brief introduction of Angolan history. It briefly explains a little about slavery, memorable political events and the belief system of the country. Following from the introduction of the country's history the story illustrates the main characters path.
Ending Description
In the end the mixed race girl finds her white father beating her evil mother on her quest to finding her father making the story another one of Joseph Campbells hero's journey.
Pitch Adaptation
This is a story that that illustrates how a child's behavior is changed when removed from the care of a loving and supportive caretaker. Its the emotional story of a young girl in search for her father. The contents of the story make it for a much older audience starting from age 18 as the story is touching on various topics such as bullying, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse that later led to mental health issues. Its a story that teaches and educates the audience on the damages of abuse, however it also teaches the audience on how to stay grounded and never give up on your dreams regardless of circumstances as the leading character showed with her defiance to finding her father standing up to her Villon who happened to be her witchcraft practicing mother. The story also illustrates the desperation for white genes as a means to climb up the social ladder Its a true story of struggle and the main characters path to her truth, the truth of finding her father triggered her spiritual awakening which broke the ugly spell she was under for 27 years.
WGA Number
The author has not yet written this
Mature Audience Themes
Sexual Abuse, Language/Profanity,Extreme Violence,Substance Abuse
Plot - Other Elements
Meaningful Message
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest
Main Character Details
Name: Naomi
Age: changes throughout
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Empathetic,Faithful,Underdog,Naive,Insecure,Lone Wolf
Additional Character Details
Name: Jane
Age: from 17 till 46
Gender: Female
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Aggressive,Narcisstic,Villainous,Power Hungry,Uneducated
Additional Character Details
Name: Nanny Flora
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Empathetic,Engaging,Gracious,Heroic,Religious
Additional Character Details
Name: Nanny Flora
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Aspiring,Modest,Charming,Empathetic,Faithful,Gracious,Leader,Religious
Supplemental Materials
Information not completed
Genre
DRAMA, RELIGION
Brief
A young girl is abused by her Black African family her entire life due to having light skin and blonde hair, presumably thanks to a white father. She wants to find her father her entire life, knowing that he can save her, but no one will give her any information. Her mother continues to make her life a living hell thanks to curses she put on the girl so that she would be ugly and never succeed. By the time sheâs an adult with her own daughter, sheâs able to track down her father and tell him about her life through therapy sessions, before revealing who she truly is.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The Book Profile is accurate overall, but it could do with a proofing pass to best market the work.
Draw of Story
The brief history of what is today Angola at the very beginning of the book is really fascinating, and itâs a great way to establish this world and set the scene for the story to unfold. The facts are important for the audience to know, and theyâre echoed later in the book when Naomi educates herself about the countryâs history. This necessary historical context is the perfect start to the novel.
Possible Drawbacks
The way the book is formatted makes it a difficult, sometimes taxing read. Double-spacing the text and indenting paragraphs, such as in traditional publishing, would help this. The way the dialogue is formatted is also odd, almost as though itâs a transcript of a recording. Adding in dialogue tags would be immensely helpful, and it would make the book a smoother read. For instance, instead of, âNaomi: âYou know nannyâŚââ could be something like: âYou know, nanny,â Naomi said (5). The book isnât formatted like a traditional book, which does a disservice to its story. It could also use a proofing pass, as there are typos and grammatical errors. For instance, Mr. Juliusâs name switches back and forth between that and âEdward.â The novel is divided into three parts, but the third one is introduced on page 23, which feels uneven, and thereâs no Part II ever labeled. There are also no chapters introduced after page 36. The most important thing for a book is that the story can shine, but right now the literal pages arenât as accessible as they could be. Smoothing out these issues and ensuring the draft is as professional as it can be will let the narrative speak for itself.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The fact that Naomiâs story is the authorâs story â that this is a memoir â is a great hook for the book. True stories are often incredibly popular, and theyâre sure to draw attention and audiences alike. Naomiâs perspective (or the authorâs) is extremely unique, and her life story feels fresh and is compelling. Getting to take this journey with her is a privilege for the reader. We get to see her whole life story, up until her late 20s, and weâre just as involved in her search for her father as she is.
Fanbase Potential
Because itâs a true story with a diverse cast, itâs easy to see an adaptation of this book gaining a lot of attention and doing well at the box office.
Awards Potential
The fact that itâs a true story makes it a great contender for potential awards attention, and in pretty much any categories â cast, director, writer, and more.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
PRECIOUS, THE GLASS CASTLE, SPEAK, MYSTERIOUS SKIN, LION
Whatâs New About the Story
Naomiâs story is definitely unique, though itâs unfortunate that itâs because of abuse and tragedy, of course. The fact that itâs based on the authorâs own real life is a huge boon, and that makes is so singular. Restructuring the story so itâs a frame narrative that Naomi tells to Julius will help it to stand out in its originality.
Lead Characters
Naomi has coped with so many awful things in her life, and while it has made her strong and resilient, all of her trauma is still right under the surface. The audience sees her life play out before their eyes, along for the heartbreaking ride as she struggles to survive at every turn. The acknowledgement that sheâs hurt, and that sheâs trying to heal herself and be the mother her own mother never could be, makes her stand out. Sheâs an empathetic character at every turn, and weâre invested in her success.
Uniqueness of Story
The fact that Naomiâs story is true, that the author was inspired by her own life and thus intimately knows the ins and outs of it to bring it alive, makes this a rare gem. Naomi wants to take on the dangers of bullying and help others with her story, which is great, and sheâs able to have this nuanced view even while sheâs processing her trauma. Her journey to rediscover her faith is also nice, as itâs so important to how she is healed, and including more Christian elements throughout the years between when she moves to London and when she finds Julius might be nice. Maybe she tries to go back to church, but canât for some reason, or doesnât want to keep going.
Possible Formats
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
The presentation of the novel isnât professional, and it makes the read difficult and less enjoyable than it could be. Editing and polishing the pages themselves would be a huge help. The writing style doesnât tell an engaging story so much as it simply relays events. The dialogue is long-winded and doesnât feel realistic. All of the good, morally right characters sound similar, and the same is true for the reverse, evil characters. The structure is confusing and hard to follow due to the flashbacks, and having Naomi simply tell most of it in dialogue isnât cinematic. The sudden skip forward in time to Naomi being 27 is awkward, and the last 17 years is covered anyway. Starting with Naomi in present day, and flashing back as sheâs talking to Julius, would be easier to understand. The ending is abrupt and unsatisfying, and the audience doesnât if Julius is really her father, nor how he feels about it.
Tips for Improvement
Restructuring the story would help it come across cleaner on the page. The whole thing could be structured as a frame narrative, where Naomi is actually seeing Julius in person and relaying her life to him. (Phone calls arenât as dynamic as face-to-face meetings.) Naomiâs story could then be conveyed through flashbacks, with her in Juliusâs office as a grounding anchor for the audience watching. Their relationship could also be built up more, so the audience feels that they care for one another before the reveal that Julius might be her father. Extending the narrative to see Juliusâs reaction would also be great for the audienceâs emotional journey. Right now, neither Naomi nor the audience is granted closure. Telling the story in a more linear fashion is a great place to start, so that once Naomi is recounting her life to Julius, she does so starting from when she was young up to when she tracks him down. In addition, the content of the novel could be streamlined. There are a few repetitive moments, such as why Naomi isnât taking drama class (pages 41-42) and the audience learning twice that Naomi ended the phone call with Julius early and threw up (80-81). These are only small pieces, but reading the same thing back to back slows the pace. Itâs also not necessary to include nearly every piece of Naomiâs day if it doesnât have bearing on the story or characterization. We donât need to know every time someone takes a shower (which is mentioned on over 15 of the 84 pages), or watches TV (over 20 times). If nothing is happening in these scenes to affect the narrative, they can be left out to help with the pace.
Brief
A mixed race blonde girl is raised by her Black African mother and is consistently bullied and abused by everyone in her family for being light-skinned thanks to her white, absent father. As an adult, after being tormented for years, she finally faces her motherâs evil and breaks the curse placed upon her by finding her way back to her faith. She tracks down her father, with no help from her family, and is able to reconnect with him as she raises her own daughter with love.
What We Liked
Naomi is such a strong protagonist, and her journey is both heartbreaking and empowering. The audience is taken along through every part of her life as though they are living it for themselves, real and visceral. She struggles to overcome terrible tragedies and a crucial lack of support from those who should be her loved ones. She is isolated and forgotten, but she is always able to find a reason to keep living. This is a powerful message, and itâs one that would resonate with a wide audience.
Film: Dramatic biographical films are a popular genre for a reason, including ones with dark themes similar to Naomiâs story. Itâs easy to envision this as a powerhouse feature with an impeccable cast working to bring Naomiâs story to life in an impactful two hours that would resonate with audiences long after watching. This kind of narrative is practically made to be Oscar bait, as itâs a true story with traumatic elements, but ultimately itâs a message of hope and new beginnings.
TV: Naomiâs story covers a large swath of time, nearly 30 years in fact. A television series would allow the story to reach its full potential by teasing out her life little by little. Alternatively, it could also work very well as a limited series that jumps forward in time episode by episode, still harkening back to her past, something like THE QUEENâS GAMBIT. Regardless of how many episodes (or seasons), the longer nature of a show would let more of Naomiâs life be portrayed to the audience.
Key points:
1. True story
2. Fresh perspective
3. Unique setting in Angola
4. Christian themes
5. Female protagonist of color and diverse cast overall
Synopsis
NAOMI is born to JANE in Angola, though Jane has no interest in having a baby as sheâs only 18. Instead, NANNY FLORA sees to raising and caring for Naomi, which is especially necessary since Jane and the rest of their FAMILY ruthlessly bullies Naomi. She has bald patches due to alopecia, sheâs a light-skinned mixed race girl, and the hair she has is blonde. Her family members are all dark-skinned Black Africans, who arenât valued as highly thanks to centuries of Portuguese colonization of the country. As a result, they resent Naomi and tease her mercilessly. She wants her presumably white FATHER to come and save her, but she has no idea who he is, and Jane refuses to tell her anything to help her find him.When sheâs 10, Jane moves them both to the UK so they can have better opportunities, as Naomi is a bright child. This means she has to leave Flora behind, the only person who has ever truly cared for her. Fast forward until Naomi is 27, with a daughter, LILLY, of her own. When sheâs not busy with work or taking care of Lilly, she endlessly scours Facebook in an attempt to find her father. She finds a MAN in MR. JOHNâs photos who looks a lot like her, and she becomes obsessed with figuring out who he is.
Jane claims Mr. John is Naomiâs father, but Naomi thinks sheâs lying. Jane shares that she didnât want to have Naomi at all, and only didnât have an abortion because Flora stopped her. Naomi goes to church for the first time in 17 years, and she prays for God so she can cut ties with Jane. She has a good job until the COVID-19 pandemic leads to her being furloughed, and Naomi quickly grows depressed and focuses her energy on finding her father. She still feels traumatized from her abusive childhood and young adulthood, and she wants to be the best mother to Lilly possible. She begins writing about her life, hoping to help others by educating about bullying.
She finds a therapist, DR. JULIUS, on Facebook, and begins doing sessions with him over the phone. In these daily sessions, she shares what occurred between her move to England and now. She was forced to raise her younger sister, TAMARA, when she was a child herself. Jane treated Naomi like a servant, still berating her and embarrassing her in front of friends and family all these years. In the present day, Flora dies, and Naomi is gutted by the news. She tells Julius about how she struggled in school due to her home life, a BOYFRIEND who she was with for three years who talked behind her back about how ugly she was, and about later living in hostels and government housing with baby Lilly. Once Jane was watching Lilly for her, and nearly let the baby die. Naomi was dismayed, and Jane attempted to kill her next, trying to choke her out because of Naomiâs truthful accusations against her. She got Jane arrested, but she didnât press charges.
As she finds her way back to God in the present day, Naomi realizes that her bald patches are filling in with new hair growth, and even her nose is getting smaller. God comes to her in a dream and encourages her to sever ties with her hateful family, giving Naomi the strength she needs to do so now that Flora is gone. She tells Julius that she was finally able to get a lead on her father from a COUSIN in Angola. When she was young, Jane was a call girl, so itâs possible she didnât know who Janeâs father was or any identifying information about him. It makes sense why no one in the family ever wanted to bring it up, too. Naomi continues her social media research. She finally tracked down the man sheâs convinced is her father a year ago, she confesses, but she hasnât told him yet. Instead, she continued to keep tabs on him and, when she knew she needed counseling, she booked a call with him. She believes Julius is her father.