The Ebenezer
GENRE
DRAMA SUSPENSE / THRILLER HISTORICAL FICTION POLITICAL
Core Theme
CLASS CONFLICT
TIME PERIOD
20th Century (multiple decades)
COMPARABLE TITLES
PARASITE (2019), US (2019), COSMOPOLIS (2012)
CHARACTER LIST
• MARK EMERY: MID 30S. ARTIST, TALENTED, REALIST, PRAGMATIC, COMPASSIONATE, EDUCATED
• SUSAN ARGYLE, 30, FOIL TO PROTAGONIST, HEIRESS TO A GREAT FORTUNE, INTELLIGENT, ENTITLED, ASSERTIVE, CAPABLE
• JOHN EAGLEFEATHER, 30S, PROTAGONIST'S BEST FRIEND, ENGINEER, SKILLED, COMPASSIONATE, HONEST, TALENTED
Logline
The RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD – Fredrick Argyle – is destroying the world to ‘save it’ from itself. In a series of intertwined stories, this groundbreaking fictional work identifies exactly what those evils are, their origins, and if left unchecked, their logical conclusion.
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34,35-54,55+
Target Gender: Universal
Setting
San Francisco, New York, Washington DC.
Based on a True Story
No
Publishing Details
Status: No
Starting Description
San Francisco CA. Artists studio. In walks Susan Argyle, the richest woman in the world, daughter of Frederick Argyle. She demands obedience. The owner of the studio, Mark Emery ignores her.
Ending Description
Golden Gate bridge destroyed by explosions, collapsing and killing thousands, including the very richest aboard a huge yacht.
Group Specific
Information not completed
Hard Copy Available
No
ISBN
N/A
Mature Audience Themes
Language/Profanity
Plot - Other Elements
Philosophical Questions,Meaningful Message
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth
Main Character Details
Name: Susan Argyle
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Charming,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Engaging,Gracious,Educated,Leader,Selfless,Outspoken,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Mark Emery
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Blunt,Selfless,Outspoken,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Genre
POLITICS, SUSPENSE, DRAMA
Brief
Young woman seeks out the work of a skilled artist. The artist turns her down because he believes her to be a member of the spoiled elite. The two get to know each other and mutual respect is formed. The true nature of their personalities come to light on the night of an explosion that kills many members of the elite circle that the young woman is involved in.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: EXCELLENT
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: EXCELLENT
Structure: GOOD
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The nature of the Development pitch is over-selling the elaborate nature of the final climax. In reality, the final events leading to the explosion are quite minor, and the revelation takes part only at the very end of the third act. Building up to the explosion is a slow burn, which adds to the dramatic nature of this property, but the central focus is on the budding friendship between the protagonists.
Draw of Story
The story is well-written and focuses around scenes of intense discussion about the nature of wealth in our modern society. An artist and the daughter of a billionaire set the stage for a continual butting of heads that builds into a strong and enlightening friendship for both.
Possible Drawbacks
Most arcs or natural breaks in the acts begin with a description of the natural scenery, and most arc endings are punctuated by an intense discussion. The two events that are built up to, the creation of Mr. Emery and Eaglefeather's invention, and the destruction of the Golden Gate bridge, feel disparate and unimportant at times. In a visual medium, these serve as good guidelines for each act, but they begin to feel overdone and slightly repetitive by the end of the story.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The protagonist Mark Emery is a talented artist whose work is adored by many, and yet he refuses to sell it to the daughter of the richest man in the world. This is a story of class, socioeconomic differences, and the agency that individuals have over one another. Watching a member of general society take the elitist Miss Argyle to task in the first scene is enough to get anyone interested in what will happen next.
Fanbase Potential
The fanbase for this property is probably older, starting in the 20s but focusing on members of the 30-55 demographic and beyond. This is a sociopolitical drama with very little romance, whose tension is derived by a difference in ideologies--it is thought-provoking more than it is action-packed.
Awards Potential
Looking at a recent film like Parasite that emphasizes the disparities of social classes and the fallout of these gaps in understanding, it is possible for this property to attract award attention. The main draw for Awards will be consistent and provoking dialogue that gets to the heart of the issue--elitism and authority from those whose wealth is derived from lineage and status, not necessarily hard work.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
PARASITE (2019), US (2019), COSMOPOLIS (2012)
What’s New About the Story
The story's battling protagonists are both interesting characters with some spice to their lives. The external conflict involving the Golden Gate bridge is eerie and suspenseful, and the process of experimentation that leads to the successful creation of Mr. Emery's prize invention is certainly thought provoking. There is a lot going for the story in terms of plot, but it is not, however, always paced in the most engaging way. At times there is a bounty of exposition in which the conflict is largely internal, and the stakes of the surrounding events are nearly forgotten. Those interjections of suspense are few and far between, though this reader cannot fault them for their effectiveness. The only noticeable absence is a moment of conflict between Mr. Emery, the main protagonist, and Mr. Florian, the wealthy antagonist idol whose influence helped spawn many of the story's conflicts.
Lead Characters
Mr. Mark Emery is talented and good-hearted to a fault. What is refreshing about his character is the balance of realism and idealism. He has desires to help people, animals, and himself--but he chooses to do what best he can without sacrificing too much of himself in the process. His dialogue feels genuine and multi-dimensional. Miss Susan Argyle is a bit of a caricature at first, but quickly grows into a likeable and competent person, whose ideals clash interestingly with Mr. Emery's. There is a war of class that takes place between these two characters, and as the elitist, she ultimately loses with grace and understanding on her side.
Uniqueness of Story
I think this is a rare gem. Well-written and conceived, it is just missing the touch of a good director/producer to drive home the vision of this unlikely friendship.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio
Analyst Recommendation
RECOMMEND
Justification
This reader recommends the property for its overall strength of plot and writing. As a book, there is a noticeable lack of class confrontation outside of the protagonists that makes it feel slightly unfulfilled. As a script however, it could serve as the framework for a strong internal drama in which the tension of the characters is well-mirrored by the impending environmental destruction to come. There is a good sense of place, character and conflict already baked into the property. The story is mentally stimulating and begs the reader to come to their own conclusion in the ever-present battle of class warfare
Brief
Frederick Argyle, the richest man in the world, is the figurehead of the cultural elite. His profit-centric ideals have led to the degradation of consumer products and the environment alike--at least according to protagonist Mark Emery. An artist working out of San Francisco, Emery is everything that Mr. Argyle is not. He strives for individual perfection with each piece he creates and he sells these labors of love at an honest price. All that Mark Emery knows is a framework to teach Mr. Argyle's daughter Susan, who comes into his life by storm, only to have her own ideals challenged as the nature of life outside the elite is unveiled to her for the first time.
What We Liked
- The property involves two interesting protagonists whose conversations captivate much of the story. The wisdom that comes from both characters is engaging, and the author uses the environment to mirror these conflicts in a dramatic fashion. The writing is above average and the plot structure is sound. It is a good framework on which to produce a striking class-based drama.
- Film: As a film, this story is well-paced and chock full of useful dialogue. There is a strong sense of emulation between the tension of the protagonists and the degradation of the world around them.
- TV: For TV the story thus far feels like the totality of season one. The two characters meet and the episodes that follow are punctuated by strong conversations in which the elitist mentality is slowly hammered out of Miss Argyle's mind until she is fully awake to the misdeeds of her father and other elites of society.
- Key points: Unlikely Friendship, Redemption, Understanding, Coming of Age, Class Conflict.
Synopsis
Protagonist Mark Emery, a San Francisco artist, meets Susan Argyle, daughter of the richest man in the world. The two start off on a confrontational foot as Mr. Emery refuses to sell work to Susan unless she can pay for it with her own money and not 'gifted' or 'stolen' money from her joint account with her father. The two verbally spar as Mr. Emery can see the intelligence in Susan's speech, and warns her that if she continues to act air-headed and entitled, she may in fact become that way. In the background Mr. Emery and his friend John Eaglefeather, a capable engineer, are working on a device that can create replicas of Mark's metal and plaster artworks without the use of casts and molds. One of their interns witnessed an explosion during a test of the device and helps them come up with a solution that may solve the machine's last remaining problem. Susan Argyle attends an event with Mr. Florian a wealthy man running in her father's circles. He is clearly attracted to her, and brings her to a yacht of a wealthy friend. There she meets the deplorable members of the West Coast elite who have all but raped the country of its resources in order to build their fortunes.
A glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge is shown to highlight the strain put on it by disrepair, and to foreshadow its inevitable collapse.
Mr. Emery meets with Susan again, who apologies for her poor behavior and even pays with her own money to replace a piece she damaged in her earlier fit of rage. The two spar over a game of tennis, and their unlikely friendship is strengthened as they attend a contemporary art exhibit that was bought out by the owner of the yacht that Susan met earlier. The woman tries to buy off Mr. Emery, but he is unimpressed. When the woman leaves the two protagonists get in an argument about the purpose of fine art, and the right for all people, not just the elite, to enjoy it. Ultimately, Mr. Emery is kicked out of the museum on orders passed down from the museum's owner, antagonist Mr. Florian.
The pair make their way up north to inquire about a special handmade wooden bear. On the way, a series of events from poor roads conditions, to deforestation, and ultimately a car accident caused by an aggressive truck driver, lead Susan to realize that the wealthy elite she had met on the yacht are the individuals who have carelessly destroyed the planet in search of profit. Still, she sees her father as a visionary, and strives to protect that ideal and the honor of those like him.
After a successful test proves that Mr. Emery's machine can create replicas of his art at prices low enough for the general public to buy, a night of celebration is held. A dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Eaglefeather, Mark Emery and Susan Argyle leads to a spirited debate about the disparities of the classes in America and their different solutions to the problem. Mr. Eaglefeather describes his previous work, unknowingly engineering parts that would later be used to construct bombs for the US military, as if to foreshadow the events to come. That evening, the elite members Susan met earlier are hosting a yacht party around the Golden Gate Bridge. Overhead on the bridge, a gas truck catches fire as a cargo truck full of explosives becomes trapped on the deteriorating road of the bridge. A gas explosion destroys portions of the bridge which collapse on the boat. The elites survive, only to be killed by the detonation of the explosives. Mark and John chalk the event up to karma, and Susan runs off shocked--realizing that she was almost on that boat herself.