"Vendetta"

Christopher Thomas legallyomitted1@gmail.com 5051037876378

ACTION DRAMA

2000s

Christopher F Thomas

Logline

A misfit tomboy badass navy seal that seems to attract trouble is repremanded by her superiors. Our protagonist takes the "sink or swim" option vacation.The act of laying low while visiting cousins,an unexpected turn of events drags her in to a crucial conflict with herself and society.

Genre

Action,Drama

Short Summary

Our protagonist is being chewed out. by top brass,given a sink or swim option.Protagonist visits her Chicago cousins,dispite laying low becomes caught up in a web of murder and mayhem in this urban setting.


Our protagonist uncovers her antagonist true colors and all the ill will becomes an all out carnage battle for justice as our protagonist attempts to bring about justice,to which she's left wondering,did she win the battle..or the war.

Setting

Any military base/Chicago

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rebellion Against 'The One'

Plot - Other Elements

Meaningful Message

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Jamie

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Badass,Charming,Sexy,Underdog,Sarcastic,Complex,Heroic,Strong Moral Code,Funny,Skillful

Additional Character Details

Name: Audrey

Age: 19-22

Gender: Female

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Naive,Secretive,Empathetic,Flexible

Additional Character Details

Name: Nate

Age: 9

Gender: Male

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Naive,Modest

Additional Character Details

Name: Slim

Age: 26-30

Gender: Male

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Manipulative,Unapologetic,Power Hungry,Blunt,Villainous,Criminal

Development Pitch

A tomboy badass navy seal comes to visit her Chicago cousins after haveing been given a choice by military superiors, of Dishonorable or vacation! Upon arrival,the youngest family members mysterously killed.Our protagonist uncovers the villian and has to use all her martial arts/sealteam skills, to bring her antagonist to justice! In the end wondering,had she won the battle or the war?

About The Author

I've worked on some films,Extra,P.A and Security.wrote screenplay that I'm submitting,a book and working on another of both.I dont have much to tell about me until,something happens,meanwhile i remain legally omitted.I have ideas,i just need to get one in the door on an option etc.

Target Audiences

Age: 13-17,18-34,35-54

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

All

Publishing Details

Hard Copy Available

No

WGA Number

069362-00

Genre

ACTION

Brief

The protagonist comes to visit his cousins in Chicago and ends up getting involved in a violent web of crime, drug-dealing, corruption, and murder.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

SCRIPT

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: GOOD

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

More or less. Even though it's not wrong, the logline and short summary doesn't exactly reflect the drug-dealing and gang war plot that fills out the script.

Draw of Story

The beginning is confusing, full of characters and fast scenes, which makes it difficult to focus our attention. The hook only really works a few pages ahead, when the main narrative line becomes much clearer.

Possible Drawbacks

Mainly the fact that the narrative has many characters that are not relevant to the plot, aside from the fact that it is occasionally confusing and full of stereotypes and clichés, which are very clear in some dialogues.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

A badass woman facing virtually alone an entire evil drug trafficking network in Chicago offers a beautiful opportunity for an incredible action movie.

Fanbase Potential

The feature film may even attract moviegoers interested in crime and action flicks, but the plot needs to be revised and better developed so that it is indeed thought-provoking to the public.

Awards Potential

It could even be a candidate for some awards focused on action films, but as it stands, it would hardly win any.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

TRAINING DAY - A YOUNG POLICE OFFICER SPENDS THE DAY WITH A TRAINING OFFICER, WHO ENDS UP INVOLVING HIS PARTNER IN A PLOT OF CRIME AND CORRUPTION. BOYZ N THE HOOD - A YOUNG BLACK MAN IS GOING TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER IN LOS ANGELES. ALTHOUGH HE INSTIGATES VALUES OF HONESTY AND RESPECT IN HIS SON, HIS FRIENDS END UP BEING INVOLVED IN THE TRAGIC GANG AND DRUG-TRAFFICKING CULTURE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD

What’s New About the Story

The most original aspect is to put a badass girl facing alone a violent gang of drug dealers, who are even involved with members of her family. However, the excessive clichés and the lack of development of some characters end up damaging the plot and should be revised.

Lead Characters

She is a badass, intelligent and resilient, despite the difficulties and violence that are set against her.

Uniqueness of Story

Despite an interesting premise, the script is far from a rare gem. It is necessary to review many issues, especially the somewhat obvious and stereotyped dialogues and the plot itself, which is constantly confusing or even meaningless at times.

Possible Formats

Film

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

The script is a work in progress because, despite starting from an interesting place, it is constantly quite obvious throughout its development, without delving into the personalities of its characters or even in the main theme of the story, which is the creation of a network of drug trafficking on the outskirts of a large city. In addition, dialogues and events end up falling into some racial stereotypes that can sound negative to audiences and critics. And finally, some of the plot's developments sound more like those of a superhero film than a narrative that involves the complex issues of crime and drug trafficking. The main antagonist, in particular, is like a villain belonging to this type of film, without any kind of nuance, which may even strengthen the threat it represents, but weakens the power of the narrative as a whole.

Tips for Improvement

First, it is necessary to review the dialogues in order to remove some stereotypes that can have a very negative effect on the audience. And this does not necessarily refer to the slangs used, but mainly to the content of these lines. Furthermore, the story needs further development and a less obvious one if it is to be really thought-provoking. Therefore, reviewing some of the action scenes, which are not very credible or interesting, or even several of the protagonist's escape moments would be something advisable, that would help the plot to evolve. That said, it is interesting how the narrative shows the involvement of some members of the protagonist's family with criminals, seeking to reflect the context of the reality in which those people live. If the author invests in a better development for some of these subplots, the script will gain dramatic upholstery, bringing more gravitas to the narrative and, consequently, involving the audience further in the story it has to tell.

Logline

A misfit tomboy badass navy seal that seems to attract trouble is repremanded by her superiors. Our protagonist takes the "sink or swim" option vacation.The act of laying low while visiting cousins,an unexpected turn of events drags her in to a crucial conflict with herself and society.

Short Summary

Our protagonist is being chewed out. by top brass,given a sink or swim option.Protagonist visits her Chicago cousins,dispite laying low becomes caught up in a web of murder and mayhem in this urban setting.


Our protagonist uncovers her antagonist true colors and all the ill will becomes an all out carnage battle for justice as our protagonist attempts to bring about justice,to which she's left wondering,did she win the battle..or the war.

FEEDBACK

A tomboy badass navy seal comes to visit her Chicago cousins after haveing been given a choice by military superiors, of Dishonorable or vacation! Upon arrival,the youngest family members mysterously killed.Our protagonist uncovers the villian and has to use all her martial arts/sealteam skills, to bring her antagonist to justice! In the end wondering,had she won the battle or the war?

About The Author

I've worked on some films,Extra,P.A and Security.wrote screenplay that I'm submitting,a book and working on another of both.I dont have much to tell about me until,something happens,meanwhile i remain legally omitted.I have ideas,i just need to get one in the door on an option etc.

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Characters

Main Character

Name: Jamie

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Badass,Charming,Sexy,Underdog,Sarcastic,Complex,Heroic,Strong Moral Code,Funny,Skillful

Character 1

Name: Audrey

Age: 19-22

Gender: Female

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Naive,Secretive,Empathetic,Flexible

Character 2

Name: Nate

Age: 9

Gender: Male

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Naive,Modest

Character 3

Name: Slim

Age: 26-30

Gender: Male

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Manipulative,Unapologetic,Power Hungry,Blunt,Villainous,Criminal