COMEDY, ACTION

Kevin and Danny are scientist looking to create a new skincare product. Maggy, Danny's girlfriend, gives them a vial of a new formula for hair care, they mistakenly mix in with their own. The new product cures a lot more than wrinkles. They are being chased after by powerful organizations but to save humanity, must fight them to keep the formula to themselves.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Yes, the book profile accurately reflects the book.

The story is a lighthearted science fiction. Kevin and Danny are screw up type characters who mistakenly mix up a "live forever" formula. They are reigned in by Maggie, the clear thinking character out of the trio.

The book rambles on with storylines that don't contribute to the plot. There is too much excess that is completely unnecessary. It is barely about the actual formula and more focused on the there escapades. The format of the book makes it difficult to read at times.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that two scientist, trying to create a skincare product, accidentally create a product that completely erases wrinkles but also stops people from dying. Unfortunately, it is not stable and some people begin to melt.

This could have a large fanbase because it mixes genres and could be appealing to a large audience. It is a sci-fi comedy, reminiscing a buddy comedy with a straight shooting female companion. It also has some gore and a villain.

This does not have awards potential. It is a simple story meant to entertain and be humorous. There is nothing truly dramatic about it and the characters are developed enough to make the story work.

MEDIUM BUDGET

PSYCH, PAUL, THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME

The story is original because of the science it uses as its' plot device. The scientist are creating an aging cream that completely removes all wrinkles and blemishes but also cures death. Besides that, there are plenty of movies about scientist screwing up their experiment to create something diabolical, that an evil corporation wants to get there hands on.

The lead characters do not stand out. They are goofy characters that have made huge mistake. They can barely keep it together and need the help of the clear thinking woman to steer them.

This story is average with nothing overly interesting. It can be improved by developing the main characters better. Kevin and Danny seem like the same, incompetent person.

Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

For this to be a consider, there needs to be more focus on the plot. There are a many deviations from the main plot that do not enrich the story. It drags along and can be cut down drastically.