The Planet Star - Unfolding Prophecy
Widows are promised a new life in the Khalian Solar System, but sinister forces have deceived and lured them to Thesbis- The planet of Widows, to find the one widow prophesied to possess the only weapon to destroy the mighty Empire of the Lord of Uni.
A young widow stands in the doorway of home thinking about preparations needed to leave her home planet to reestablish her life in another galaxy. Unable to afford a program on her home planet. she heads to Thesbis, Planet of Widows. She does not know that she is the prophesied widow.
The evil Lord battles with the King and owner of The Planet Star. The King wounds the evil Lord and activates The Planet Star. The evil Lord runs out of the place of battle heading for his spacecraft. He stumbles onto the widow, drags her into his spacecraft, and takes off.
Planet Tima; Thesbis; Galan
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Shreela Bakra
Age: approx. 38 years old
Key Traits: Confident,Decisive,Engaging,Gracious,Educated,Honorable
Additional Character Details
Name: King Ewlon Galan
Key Traits: Masculine,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Gracious,Leader,Honorable,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Milan Mariko
Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Clumsy,Funny,Educated
Additional Character Details
Name: Uzak, Lord of the Unian Solar System
Key Traits: Villainous,Narcisstic,Blunt,Power Hungry,Unapologetic,Sarcastic,Badass,Complex,Skillful,Outspoken,Leader,Secretive,Criminal,Desperate,Aggressive,Confident,Manipulative
Widows kidnapped on the planet, Thesbis, are carried off to the renin mining colonies on planet Uni, where they are enslaved and murdered. King Ewlon Galan suspects the evil Lord of Uni, who searches for the widow prophesied to destroy his mighty empire. Recently widowed Shreela Bakra heads out into the galaxy for retraining on planet Thesbis, unaware that she is the prophesied widow. Before she can fully settle into her new home, she is brutally kidnapped by the Unian Military Force. Their plan is foiled when Ewlon rescues the widow, and together they race against time to activate The Planet Star. The basic theme of this story is to determine whether or not it is possible to change the outcome, of a prophecy by manipulating events. This is what the Antagonist, Lord Uzak, has set out to do. He has been kidnapping widows to keep a prophecy from coming to fruition. This leads to an adventure where Lord Uzak realizes that the long-sought prophesied widow is now here and has escaped his clutches. He chases her and her allies across the galaxy to keep them from completing an act that would destroy his planet and his power.
FANTASY, WAR, DRAMA, ACTION
Shreela, a new widow, is tricked into living on planet Thesbis. When it is discovered she is the widow of the prophecies she is double kidnapped by Lori Uni. King Ew of Thesbis has to save her in order for them to activate the prophecy.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does well in describing the novel, especially in detailing the special themes of the book in the development pitch. The logline could be more focused on the protagonist within the premise rather than the solar system itself so that there is a better understanding of what the external and internal main conflicts are of the piece.
Draw of Story
The fact that Shreela is double kidnapped and must team up with the place she didn't want to go to in the first place is an interesting dynamic.
Many of the characters have a similar speech pattern which makes the dialogue sometimes hard to differentiate and gauge different character dynamics from. The dialogue can also be exposition heavy which is better to show some actions rather than tell at certain junctures.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that everyone but Shreela knows she is the chosen widow and this leaves her vulnerable to being kidnapped. She has to make the best of a bad situation and learn in her new surroundings who truly has the best interests of society at heart as both sides are trying to pit her against the other.
This could potentially have a decent size fanbase for fans of sci-fi but it might be too high-fantasy for some viewers and the audience would depend on the platform.
Given its setting in space and fantasy themes of trying to change prophecy, this is unlikely to be a film awards contender but could gain interest character-wise in the television arena with further development and depending on the episode.
Similar Films/TV Series
FIREFLY, BATTLESTAR, DIVERGENT, WESTWORLD, HARRY POTTER, MAD MAX
What’s New About the Story
The originality of the world stems the protagonist having to trust herself to choose which side to follow given that she’s forced to listen to both sides as they both try to exert control over her and discredit the other side.
Shreela is observant, practical and adaptable. Ew is valiant and somewhat bold. Uzak is desperate and committed to sustaining his power.
Uniqueness of Story
The concept of trying to alter prophecies is interesting but the characters, especially in their dynamics, are a bit underdeveloped, to fully engage in the world.
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Creating more dynamic side characters with greater differentiation in their dialogue and types of interaction will better create emotional investment on both sides of the fight. Rather than having characters explain what they did or what they will do, sometimes switching up to showing instead of telling will sustain tension longer as the motivation isn't always apparent at first glance of an action.